Shirley M Probable NDE

Experience Description

I had taken several pills. Some were aspirin and the other, I do not remember. My mother was not at home that evening and I had been planning this attempt for a while. My father died a month before my 13th birthday. My older sister was already married and my brother got married the summer after my father died. My mother smothered me and would not let me grow up. I made straight A's in school, but was wondering how I was ever going to make it on my own, because I knew how to do very little life chores. I saw my senior classmates making plans to go away to college, move out or get married, and I was scared.

I called my brother sometime after I took the pills. He was a 30-minute drive away. He and his wife came, got me, and took me to the hospital that was close by. I don't know how they got ahold of my mother because back in 1973, I don't remember if cell phones were around.

I remember being in ICU. I remember seeing my mother, brother and his wife. I remember a priest coming to give me last rights.

Then the next thing I knew, I was out of my body. The hospital was not far from my home. I went there and saw my mom, brother and his wife sitting around the kitchen table. I remember seeing the kitchen cabinets. When I woke up, I asked the nurse where I was. I asked her where the kitchen cabinets had gone. She said there were none where I pointed. I was moved to a regular room. Alone with my mother, I started to tell her this story and she said I almost died. She said, 'You know where you would have gone.' She was mad and inferring I would go to hell. So that pretty much stopped the conversation.

I started having psychic abilities. In 1980, when my brother and his second wife announced they were pregnant, I immediately knew the child would not be born. At the age of 23, who was I going to tell. So, when we got the phone call one Sunday morning and I heard my mother scream, I knew exactly what was happening. They couldn't find a heartbeat. My sister-in-law was at full term and she still had to go through delivery knowing it would be a still born child. They never figured out the reason why the boy died.

Ten years or so later, I read Dr. Raymond Moody's book on NDEs. I still didn't get it. It took a few years for me to realize I had one, even if it was just the OBE element.

In December of 1996, my husband and I moved to another house. In the neighborhood we moved from, was an older couple that became like grandparents to me. As we were selling the house in the spring, they let me know that Brad had cancer and they were not sure how long he was going to make it. We moved in October. In December, my mother ended up in the hospital for a week. On a Friday evening she chased me out of the room and as I waited to go back in, I discovered my neighbor had been in the room next to her all week. The whole old neighborhood was up saying their good byes. His wife, Grace told me she was taking him home in a few days and start Hospice. That Sunday, my husband and I had an event to attend. We decided to go up to the hospital first. But before that I had gotten ready and could not wake up that morning. As my husband was getting ready, I laid down to meditate and all this white, purple and golden light came into my vision. (I forgot to mention I had been meditating for a while and the third eye chakra was very active for me, so this was not unusual). Then I saw the crucifixion of Christ, with the two criminals by his side. I heard God's voice say something like, 'This is my Son who I gave to the world, so that all man's sins are forgiven.' As we went to the hospital, I did not tell my husband. When we got there, he went to see my mom and I went to see Brad. His room was empty. I found Grace in another corner room crying. At the time I had this vision, that is when Brad died. I will never know what this means.

I have had other smaller things happen. I am pretty open to everyday people performing miracles for me throughout my life. And I hope, I have done the same for others. I do not believe there are any coincidents in life. And I strongly believe in an afterlife.

After my father died, in my earlier teenage years, I would have a reoccurring dream. I would be in a hot air balloon. But it was no ordinary hot air balloon. This one could fly in outer space. And since my birthday was on Christmas, I couldn't tell what kind of party it was. A lady always appeared in a white dress. The feelings were very happy and blissful. In my 20's and 30's, I would chase hot air balloons or go to festivals that were launching balloons. I took several pictures of the balloon, not knowing it would be the one I would go up in because of a co-worker linking me up with her sister. On November 25, 1990, on the 21st anniversary of my dad's death, and I was 33, I flew in a hot air balloon. I remembered by 6:30 that evening, what day it was. I always felt he was there with me that day, having a dream come true. And later, I always wondered if I was having OBEs during the dreams and that the lady was the Virgin Mary. Who knows!

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Dec 1973

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Suicide attempt Life threatening event, but not clinical death

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I described above. Since my mother shut down my experience, I wanted to share with her, I am pretty certain I have suppressed my memories of what I heard my family talking about around the kitchen table. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness I didn't have a difference.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the OBE.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The same.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was heightened.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I don't remember.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I was raised Catholic, but after attending Catholic schools thru high school, and study of church history, I believed in Jesus Christ, but not so much the Catholic Church.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I believe in a personal relationship with God the Father, his son Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. Churches don't really get if for me. Probably because humans are involved and get into power trips.

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian Very much a spiritual life.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience In 1973 at age 17, I didn't know anyone talking about NDEs. At the time, I did not know what was going on.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe there is an afterlife. I have always believed it is not just reserved for Christians. What kind of loving God would do that?

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists No

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life I did above.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have expressed this to my family and closet friends. My mother also had an NDE, but my sister and I were afraid to tell her what she experienced. We were told by her blood numbers she would not live. Then a very religious uncle of mine came and prayed over her. When she woke up, she asked where all the people were that were in white suits. She described being in like a holding room that was all white with everyone dressed in white.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience less accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Like I said above, my mother did not want to hear about it.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I described already.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? That I lived. And I did a lot of good. God did not want me to succeed in killing myself.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The first time was right away with my mother, didn't go so well. Can't remember if I told my first husband. I told my 2nd husband, one of his daughters and several close girlfriends. Except for the daughter, the others reactions was that my experience was very real. My step-daughter didn't want to hear about it because she is not sure what she believes about God.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I didn't think about it. At that time, I didn't have anyone to share it with.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Because of the physic gifts I received.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I think I described it well enough.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? My husband just died of Multiple Myeloma. He had many experiences of crossing over and coming back before he died. Where can I tell you about that?