I was at home, two days after delivering my first child. I bent over to put some newspapers down for our puppy and when I stood up again, I began to bleed. I went right to bed. Fortunately, my mother-in-law and her mother were with me at the time. The bleeding increased and I also began passing large blood clots, so we called the doctor. It was on the weekend around 9pm at night. The doctor directed me to lie with my feet elevated so that the bleeding would decrease, but it did not. They kept placing more and more bath towels and blankets under me but I kept bleeding and we began to run out of them. After two additional calls and hours later, I was finally told to go to the emergency room. By that time, it was early the next morning. When I got off the bed with help, I made it to the living room, but there I collapsed, going unconscious.At that point, I was totally unconcerned with whether I was alive or not. My focus was on what was being shown to me. A sort of film reel was directly in front of me but up just a bit. It was like watching an immense, very clear TV. I was watching images of every event that had taken place in my life. My entire life all in pictures. The most interesting part of it was that with each picture, with all the pictures (there were more than I could count), I re-experienced the original feelings that had accompanied each one. And this was happening all at the same time! I could actually see my life in picture form and feel the emotion or the lesson in each one! All together and in complete unison. It was the most phenomenal experience! Not at all like we experience life. Here, you see a picture, for example, a photograph, and you have a memory. Then you pick up another picture and have another memory. But in this experience, I received complete knowledge of all my life events in picture form, reliving each picture's memory at the same moment! I have never forgotten what it was like to have the ability to relate to my life that way. Everything was so clear, so vivid!When I regained consciousness, I was on the way to the hospital to undergo surgery, scheduled to be as soon as I got there. I had lost almost two-thirds of my blood, they told me. I still vividly remember everything that happened. I feel it changed my life in that I began to believe that there is so much more than we understand, both physically and mentally. For example, a couple of times since my experience, I've found myself in another place that seemed like a different home. I was aware of being next to a wood table, and was acutely aware of the grain of the wood. I knew I was not in my home, and for some odd reason, I'd felt as if I'd been transported into another place, which was where the table was. It was more vivid than a dream. There was no emotion, just a knowledge of being next to the table. I knew it was another place I'd just gotten to, but I didn't know how. It's hard to explain.
Date NDE Occurred: 1968
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
I began hemorrhaging two days after the delivery of my first child, at home in the late evening. This bleeding event went on for hours until the early morning. Then, finally, after repeated phone calls to the physician, and passing clots the size of a child's fist. I was told to go the emergency room.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I've never experienced anything like it. Most near death experiences that I've read contain a far-off light and tunnels and a religious person or family relative. Mine was like ‘plugging’ into my whole memory bank all at once. It was a total engulfing experience of my life events, no matter how mundane or uneventful. A normal experience of life to me would be going through events one after the other, but here I had a quiet understanding that it all belonged as one experience, and it displayed itself through pictures of my life, spanning everything, people, animals, and everything else.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When viewing the pictures and feeling them all together at one time.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no sense of time, just a life evaluation experience, happening all at once.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. When I came to, I was on the floor and a car had arrived to take me to the emergency room.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard nothing. It was a quiet experience. Very personal.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Unearthly I'd say, because this was just a screen of pictures. There was nothing else around. No voices, no people. Just a void.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Incredible emotions when you feel your entire life all at once! And yet, there was no feeling of judgment associated with it. Just the ability to ‘feel’ the events and recall my whole life.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others
Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic Was not a practicing Catholic at time.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I no longer believe in religious doctrine.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Native American religion Do not believe now in religious doctrine. Embrace more of an American Indian type of thinking pattern.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes It makes me aware of a higher ability in myself, my mind, and my spirit to contemplate who and what we are. I haven't dealt with the ‘why’ yet.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain This feeling of being connected entirely to my whole life at once, seemed clear, distinct, but oddly different to me than my life as usual or normally lived before or after the experience.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists┬
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain This meant something to me, but I am not sure of the purpose.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I had the feeling that there was a purpose to experiencing my life all at once yet peacefully connecting to all the pictures and emotions I'd experienced while alive.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists┬
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists No
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain I felt comfortable when doing this. I felt in the presence of something larger than self.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I no longer believe in a religious God. I don’t believe in a heaven or hell even though I was schooled through high school in the Catholic religion. In my senior year I'd read a book called ‘The Search for Bridey Murphy,’ and my beliefs begun to be challenged. I found myself believing easily in reincarnation. I believe in a creator, a being or power, or essence that has designed this life with its beings—animal and human—for some purpose. And I wonder if by living a good, quality life, if we ascend into a higher state of being, either here in this world or somewhere else in this universe.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Somewhat. I do remember the feelings and my ability to see my life in pictures all at one time.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience You cannot forget something like this -it's too unbelievable to have experienced and ever forget it.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I've seen plane accidents in my dreams before they've occurred. It happened twice during the mid-1990s. I can sense death around me, but it's not about me, it seems to pertain to other people. I had a ‘death feeling,’ once, thinking I was in danger quite a bit, and then my friend's son died in a car accident just weeks after I had been feeling this. I can sense dogs that have passed away, coming back in dreams before we've gotten a new puppy and I feel they've become a part of this new pup or found me again by being this pup. I know this sounds nuts.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The entire experience was meaningful.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes My husband. It sounded okay to him. He somewhat believes in reincarnation.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It felt real. It still does.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It never fades away.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No I've never been unconscious or near death.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It is something I value. I don't find it fading from me in clarity or memory awareness at all over the years.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Nothing. It was definitive and clear.
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