My aggressor kidnapped me for 48 hours. Even if I forgot everything that happened during those two days, I still remember in detail what I saw that day. He raped me several times, drugged me and made me drink a lot of 90 proof alcohol. He injected air in my veins, then dragged me into the tub where he sliced opened my arms. I cannot say for how long I was here. I saw my body and his below as he tried to kill himself on that day by slicing his throat.
Then I found myself barefoot in a white dress. I felt the grass under my feet. I followed the path to a castle. In front of the door, there were two monks who seemed to be waiting for me. The hooded robe covered their faces, so that I could only see their noses and mouths. Both men were identical and held a sword pointed towards the ground with both hands resting, one on top of the other, on the pommel of the sword.
I entered the castle, reached for the oil lamp, and then went down a spiral staircase. All the way down, there was a hall filled with light. It led to a church chapel. On both sides the benches were filled with monks, similar to those I met at the front door. When I advanced down the aisle, they all stood up and watched me pass. I knelt down in front of the man in the back of the church. He was holding a crown made of laurel sitting on a violet cushion with a golden rim around it. There was also a white dove. He asked me if I wanted to go back to my body. He said that I had a mission to accomplish and that I would know in time about it. I answered, 'Yes.' He then put the crown on my head. I looked up and saw a sentence engraved above the door of the chapel near the stairs: “Lux veritas, Lux omniscium, Lux Dei” (Truth, Enlightenment, God).
I came back to consciousness in the bathroom and crawled out to the telephone. One year after this experience, I entered the army. This was not normal since I never participated in any sports in my life. Then I continued to process and study my experience. I met Shamans and did a lot of meditation. I also went for two years seeing a psychotherapist.
Date NDE Occurred: septembre 2003
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. This time it seemed amplified.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Throughout the whole experience.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't need my glasses.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard the slightest sounds.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Maybe the spiral staircase could resemble a tunnel.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place The landscape seemed to be Scottish or Irish, with this old ruined castle and the grass under my feet, there was also some wind.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? A sensation of well-being, to be where I belong
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. I suddenly understood that life could have a meaning, that I had to make others understand and help them finding their ways.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? No After that I saw, that the world in what we live will stop to exist the way it is, as of 2020; I saw buildings burning, and hungry people.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I knowingly chose to come back, that it was not my hour, and that there was still much to do.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist. I didn't believe in anything
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes. I started to meditate, to try practicing astral travel and to believe in a higher being, but also in reincarnation.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths. Pagan (Viking with several gods, of which one of nature, of life etc.)
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I was an Atheist and didn't believe in God, I thought that death was the end of everything, nevertheless this light, the dove and the chapel shattered quite a few things in my beliefs.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I started to have a code of honor and was living a long time like a monk, with much meditation, a rather solitary life, and it was there that I started to believe in Viking gods and goddesses.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. The man in habit at the back of the hall was the only one talking to me, even if the other men present had been standing up and staring at me and followed my advance down the aisle.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I think that the sentence, and the notion of light could be part of the connection.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God does not exist
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I'm not a Christian, but many references to this connection and about the light appeared, I think that this knowledge is far more ancient, and after that, it made me look into much older beliefs, where light kept an important part in life and death.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I came back with magnetism and a capacity to talk to people, to help them find their ways in the world. Knowledge concerning medicinal plants and an increased empathy is the gift that I received on that day.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I understood that we all have a destiny to accomplish, and that sometimes it imposes a great self-sacrifice to reach it
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists. Yes. All of us have something to do after our death, and I think that we are reincarnating.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes. We shouldn't be content just skimming over ourselves, we really should dive into ourselves, being in harmony with ourselves, and never let go our interior light, our happiness is our connection with the world and ourselves.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. One week after my aggression I started doing sport, moved out, entered the Army, became a magnetizer even though this was not really my trade; I guided quite a few people; I traveled; I went to meet Shamans; went to the forest; rooted myself in nature; got a tattoo; I started photography in order to express my emotions; I changed country; I married and went back to school to be a herbalist and naturopath in hospital, and to really help people.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I became more calm, more sure of myself, more radiant what facilitated my relationship with the others.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I really don't remember much of this period of time, except that I didn't do anything but playing video games, drinking, was out of school, my mother kicked me out of the house, nothing really interesting.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Magnetism, intuitive writing, capacity to see exterior lives, feel things that you can not see, increased empathy, knowledge about plants.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, especially the episode in the chapel with the choice that I got to come back, as well as the confidence I was given on this day.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Several years, they didn't believe me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I was hanging on to this second sense I was given; my reality had not really changed in such a small time, except for the sports and moving out.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I still consider it to be real, because of the journey that followed, and of this light that never left me, as well as everything that developed with time, and what allowed me to sometimes help people.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No
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