I remember the emergency room doctor telling me they were going to have to remove my gall bladder. That is all I really remember. I felt the instantly calm, like I knew whatever happened was fine. I was in a tunnel that was not dark, but not bright and it was comforting. I had the most incredible emotions. They seemed to center in the solar plexus. There was the most incredible mixture of peace, joy, love, and acceptance; so strong, I still cry thinking about it. I seemed to be able to talk in my head without words. I asked if I was done. I seemed to just know that life on this plane at this time was only a part of my existence. God answered back. 'It is your choice. You may come with me, or go back.' I truly felt this was my choice and we were having this dialogue in my head. I could hear his voice as clear as anyone who speaks to me aloud. I told him I felt I needed to go back, that I didn't feel I had accomplished what I had set out to do. I felt emotions of kind acceptance, not judgment. I don't remember being in recovery or being moved to the ICU. I don't remember stopping breathing in ICU. We believe it occurred before my husband was allowed to see me, but not sure. I floated in and out of consciousness for a few days.
Date NDE Occurred: 8-9-2010
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes I believe this happened in ICU, as I know I did quit breathing in there and the nurses resuscitated me...however I also know that during this surgery the anesthesiologist "breathes" for you...and the surgery had complications. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I believe this happened in ICU, as I know I did quit breathing in there and the nurses resuscitated me...however I also know that during this surgery the anesthesiologist "breathes" for you...and the surgery had complications.
I was found delirious with a 104 degree fever. Upon arrival at the emergency room, after many tests, they found my gall bladder had gone septic. During surgery, something happened; gall bladder removal normally takes one hour. I was in for almost three. I know later the surgeon told me he had bleeders he couldn't get to stop, but that is all. I came out of the surgery on oxygen 24/7 and with diabetes. I stopped breathing in ICU and the nurses resuscitated me. That is all I know.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes No details given.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I am sorry. I don't understand this question. What happened to me was in an entirely different plane or realm. No comparison to what happens here.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? No doubt the most aware time was while I was speaking with God and when I was feeling all those emotions. It is a year ago now. I wish I could still feel them as strongly as I did. I have tried to portray them in my art, but not all see them.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was not really a vision difference other than the tunnel and soft light.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The voice I heard and my own were in my head kind of. There was no outside sound. It was so peaceful.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes It was a tunnel; soft light.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain I just saw a soft light. Not the bright light others describe.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I didn't feel I was earthbound. I don't know if I would call it mystical. It was as if bodies weren't needed, that thoughts were heard and answered, and love was all encompassing.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? There was overwhelming love, joy, peace, acceptance, comfort; a definite sense of home.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I felt I had not done what I was supposed to do here. I am still not certain what it is I was supposed to do. I am trying to be a better person, and I am trying to convey that incredible feeling of love and peace in my paintings. I try to spread the kindness and gentleness that I felt.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths Something of a Seeker. Believing in much of many religions.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant I did not feel the God I met was necessarily a specific religion. But rather I have elected to go to a Christian church as that is how I was raised, and I am seeking answers to what happened to me and just trying to become a better human being.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe my being told the choice to come back was mine is perhaps the greatest 'freewill' choice that God has granted. I chose to come back. So am trying to make my life better. Be kinder, more compassionate, more loving. Embrace family. I try to make amends with those I have lost along the way, tell others I love them. Pass on more of what I felt in those moments.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I have no doubt that God spoke to me. See narrative above. I use the word 'God' but I did not ask whom I was speaking with. It seemed trivial. There seemed to be a much larger picture that I seemed to already know in some way.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I use the word "God" but I did not ask who I was speaking with. It seemed trivial. There seemed to be a much larger picture that I seemed to already know in some way.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes There seemed to be no need for bodies or spoken words. Words were just heard. I felt I was not a "form". perhaps just a consciousness.,
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes He gave me the choice of coming with him or going back.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I felt it but now don't remember it. At the time I remember thinking we all know everything. It seemed funny to me that so many search for answers or claim to have found them there.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes It seemed to go without discussing that we move on. but not in our bodies. I very definitely spoke to god without spoken words.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes So much of what happened was the intensity of these overwhelming calming, loving joyful emotions. The closest comparison, and it is a very dull second, is when your child is born and you get to hold it for the very first time.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience more. In fact a part of my brain was "burned out" somehow during that emergency. but I remember this. unless there was even more that I have forgotten. *grin*
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes. I felt overwhelming incredible melting pot of pure positive emotions. I felt love, joy, acceptance, kindness, and gentleness.
And then the fact that God gave me a choice to go with him, or to come back to this life. I feel blessed that I was allowed to do either. I want to go back, but with more done to honor that.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I only shared it with a few at first. I shared with one other who has had a NDE and with a friend who is very open to everything including NDEs. I only recently shared it with my husband. I think they all were open to what happened.
I occasionally share it with art patrons. Their response is somewhat mixed but usually the ones that feel the emotions in my paintings are the ones who believe.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes My mother went in to a coma when I was born and had a NDE. I don't think my knowledge of her experience affected my experience, particularly as they were quite dissimilar. Hers had much more imagery and people she knew from Earth.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. In fact, a part of my brain was 'burned out' somehow during that emergency but I remember this, unless there was even more that I have forgotten. (grin!)
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes If I try really hard to meditate and internally visualize the emotions of that time, I can almost get to the same intensity. Almost.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It seemed to go without discussing that we move on but not in our bodies. I very definitely spoke to God without spoken words. He gave me the choice of coming with him or going back. There seemed to be no need for bodies or spoken words. Words just were heard. I felt I was not a 'form,' perhaps just a consciousness.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? The questions are way too redundant, at least to me. I had to give up answering. Just writing the same things over and over and over and over and over. Giggle. Sorry.
Are there support groups for those having NDEs? Does anyone else have time re-entering this World after visiting that one? This is what I want to know.
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