Experience Description

I had lymph node cancer. During chemotherapy, I had many thromboses in all possible body parts. Beforehand, I already had massive headaches, which were leading to attacks of sweating and vomiting when standing upright or sitting. I also had a reduction of my field of vision. The doctors subsequently diagnosed that I had metastases in my brain.

Afterwards, it turned out that it was a sinus thrombosis. My sinus thrombosis was a pivot point in my cancer therapy, as I had a stroke, went into a coma and kept having seizures. I was transferred to the neurological hospital, since the doctors thought I had tumors in my head which needed to come out.

In my coma, they didn't give me any painkillers since I had no reactions to pain stimuli anymore. A short time later, I got a very high fever 41°C (106°F) and together with the pain, I had a feeling like being in a frying pan. I suffered a lot from the fever and pain. I heard unbelievably loud 'praying' voices that seemed to pray in a language unknown to me. Over and again I heard the same 'words' in an unknown language. I, nevertheless, understood their meaning somehow deep within myself; with a sound intensity that almost seemed to blow-up my head.

The fever, the unbelievable pain and this extremely loud, repetitive praying, have been so unbearable that I only wanted to die.I wanted to leave my body.

*Whoosh*

I was outside of my body. It happened very fast and easily. I was lying in my hospital bed with a nurse on one side and both of my parents on the other side.

I felt infinite relief, no pain and no fever anymore. The praying had stopped too. It was calm and peaceful. I enjoyed this tremendously, it was so nice. I didn't feel any fear at all. Everything was as it should be and the way I wanted it to be!

I had no fear of the loss of my body. I didn't have a feeling for my parents, who I knew were so sad when I'm dying. All this was unimportant for me. Something was pulling me away from my hospital room, out through the ceiling, and away from this world.

In the next moment, I was in a park with birds chirping and insects humming around. It was very beautiful. There were flowers everywhere and various types of grass and great, old trees. A mild breeze moved the leaves making them rustle. It was a pleasant day in late summer at an advanced afternoon time. The sun was shining, but it wasn't unpleasant. I looked at a small house that seemed to fit into this situation. A tall, elderly man was in front of the house and was wearing a dark coat/hooded cloak. He had a long beard, looked at me with loving eyes, and welcomed me with caring words.

Despite the fact that this situation was so infinitely peaceful and beautiful, I had a feeling that I didn't belong here. I didn't feel RIGHT at this place; it was very surreal.

I greeted the old man and thanked him for welcoming me. I told him that I felt wrong here and something was not right. I suddenly was unsure if this was the right decision to take, as I only had wanted to get away from the bodily pain, fever and unspeakably loud praying.

He felt my uncertainty and revealed to me that now I would see a movie, showing me all the things that would not happen if I left my life now.

Everything seemed to tumble down upon me at once. I saw myself giving a lecture in front of health professionals, saw myself writing reports and giving lectures at college. I was involved with discovering new possibilities and ways to help sick people find a different perception of the NEW MEDICINE. I saw myself standing on the dock of a worldly court room, from which I would get away with an acquittal, about problems that the Pharma lobby would cause me.

In the end, I would die at an old age of a natural death. I would pass away peacefully among my loved ones in an armchair. I was immediately clear to me that all these situations NEEDED to happen. All this had to happen like this and not differently.

I said, 'All this has to happen. I have to go back can't stay anymore.' The old man nodded knowingly and said, 'So be it!'

I then told him that I had no strength anymore, that my body was so degraded due to chemotherapy and radiation, due to space food and artificial food, due to fever and coma, that I had used up all my resources, that I was just a skeleton, and that I was all skin and bones. 'I can't manage this alone. I can't keep going', I said. 'PLEASE HELP ME!'

*Whoosh*

I was back in my body. Everything was fuzzy, soft, warm, and fluffy; like cotton wool and clouds. I had no fever, felt no pain and it was calm around me. I knew I was recovering. Now I could sleep comforted. I fell asleep deep inside of me and in my coma, I was calm and content. I have almost no memories and no sense of time.

I slowly woke up from my coma. The medical personnel told me later, that I was looking at them with very big eyes; they said I had 'speaking' eyes. They tried to get in contact with me using the 'Zwinger' procedure to get an idea of my state of mind. I couldn't move my body, only my head a little bit. I had forgotten how to speak. I had aphasia of speech. Now, it is more than 25 years later and I'm sitting, fully functional at my laptop and am filling out this form.


Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 1993

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness. Life threatening event, but not clinical death. I was in a coma, due to a sinus thrombosis. I had cerebral hemorrhage and lymph node cancer.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I had access to all truths and clarity of the Universe. It seems as if I was able to understand and do everything that was possible. Independent of sleep or hunger or bodily ailments, this was completely different from what I knew until this experience.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? My coma period was the most intensive time for me, full with insights from my near death experience.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. There seemed to be no separation between space and time. The separating, earthly way of thinking didn't occur.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. In my everyday life, I'm limited. But in the experience, I was free of limitations.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My hearing was not involved. The information seemed to pass through different channels and into my head.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was part of something BIG and WHOLE, of the all-encompassing truth and clarity. I'm not sure if words could convey the content of the emotions that I felt. I'm comparing this with a magnetic tape transporting a certain amount of data, being unable to cope with the amount of data of a blue-ray disc.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I was in a feeling of absolute perfect truth and clarity. There was nothing unknown and no mysteries.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future. I saw a movie concerning my future. I saw that I would have an impact on the world. I saw how I would be involved in a decisive way in new procedures, ways and means to help sick people and to show doctors how to deal with diseases. This concerns the whole world.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic I turned away from the Catholic church and from God early, because I didn't share many of the ideas of the churches. At the time I was thinking church = God. I turned away from both.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes We are all one with the Universe and there is a universal guiding being.

What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age. Every human being is unique and together with all people, the living and deceased. We are forming a great community of the all-encompassing Being.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. Can it be so simple, to bring people to heal themselves from illnesses?

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have a great certitude with things. At all times, I have myself and my decisions under control and can decide on my own what happens.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify. I talked to an elderly man that I didn't know. He had a voice that I didn't know, but everything could be assigned to an earthly origin.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes It seems that there is a guiding universal Being, a universal consciousness.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes We are all a part of God. It seems that there is a guiding universal Being, a universal consciousness. I don't know if God is defined in this way.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes We all live in order to have experiences, to define and develop ourselves, and to realize what our role in life and in the world is.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Love yourself and others will love you.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes The answer can be found in the experience that was given to me; to find new ways to deal with sick people, to treat them, to find new procedures, ways and means to heal people.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I'm living with greater awareness and intensity and am perceiving people differently.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. The experience I lived was so intense and present, that it has burned indelibly into my brain. And even after more than 25 years, it's as real as if it happened yesterday.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can see auras, am clairvoyant, and I have an increased empathy for other people. I'm basically able to read thoughts.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I have a great certitude with things. At all times, I have myself and my decisions under control and can decide on my own what happens.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Common knowledge, that was spread by TV, movies, and press.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It always remained present with me until today.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It's still as present as it was then, more as 25 years ago. It is unchanged.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Did I get problems with others because of my experiences? Do I feel good with these experiences?