Petro S NDE

Experience Description

Because of my condition, I went into full septic shock and all my organs started failing. One moment I was aware of the doctors, the lights, the x-rays being taken, the pain, the feeling of losing consciousness and the next moment everything went nice and quiet, it was peaceful, tranquil and I felt amazing. It smelled nice. The atmosphere was airy and free, and I became aware of a Presence to my right (but more towards the back of me; I couldn't see It or look at It as much as I was simply aware of It). Without words, but with full comprehension, I was asked whether I wanted to stay (with my family on earth) or go (ahead, towards the pink-ish, green-ish, beautiful unknown).

Background:

Kara was due to be born on 10 April 2015 but arrived 1 week later on Friday, 17 April 2015 at 16:45, at a waterbirth clinic in Johannesburg. As with Stella, Kara was delivered by natural vaginal birth and the birth itself was quick and without complications.

After Kara’s birth however, the placenta would not arrive. The midwife tried for about 1.5 hours to get the placenta free but still it would not come. I lost 1.5L of blood in the process and was eventually taken into theatre at the clinic around 22:00 that evening for a placenta evacuation to be performed by my back-up gynecologist via the clinic, Dr D.

I was out of theatre within 30 minutes and it seemed like the surgery was a success. I was released from the clinic 2 days later (Sunday, 19 April 2015) but still felt tired and weak. We were told this was normal due to the blood loss and consequent low levels of iron.

I had a course of antibiotics to complete (which I did) and also took iron and vitamin C supplements.

Dr D did not contact us again and so we assumed that a follow-up wasn’t necessary. Had she ordered a sonar check-up for a few days after the placenta evacuation, we would have gladly agreed to it. She should just have mentioned that it was possibly a complicated placenta evacuation and that she must ensure that the entire placenta has in fact been removed.

Timeline:

Tuesday, 12 May 2015:

I started feeling ill, but we thought it might be the same cold/flu that Stella had.

Wednesday, 13 May 2015:

I phoned Karl around 16:00 and asked that he please take me to hospital. I had a fever (38°C-39°C), felt cold and had been shaking uncontrollably the entire day.

We went to the Emergency Room at the nearest hospital. There a urine test was done, and we were told that it was either a bladder or uterus infection, but that it was hard to tell. Since there aren’t gynecologists practicing from that specific hospital, the doctor on call recommended that we go to the hospital from where Dr D practices for a sonar to be done to establish if there were any retained products.

We arrived at said hospital around 19:00 that evening and I was admitted immediately.

Bloods were taken, and I received an intravenous drip. It was clear that an urgent sonar needed to be taken of my abdomen, but we were told by the staff that Radiology has closed for the day and that it would not be possible.

Having left home in a hurry I needed to express breast milk by then, but the hospital could offer me no equipment (even though the maternity ward was next door and surely the equipment gets sterilized and should be available for use). Karl had to leave me to fetch my breast pump from home.

Dr D arrived at approximately 20:30 and discussed my blood results with me: she said that the current infection count was 100 but that it wasn’t anything to worry about and that it definitely wasn’t sepsis (I explicitly asked this question).

I had to spend the night at the hospital since the sonar department had already closed for the day and a scan could only be done the next morning after 08:00.

(Later we learned that a normal infection count must be less than 5, so it was definitely something to be worried about at a count of 100).

Thursday, 14 May 2015:

I was restless during the night but managed to sleep a little. There were very few nurses that checked in and there was no information with regards to next steps. I went to take a shower, drip still attached, and eventually someone came to fetch me for the sonar. The radiologist reacted with clear shock and surprise as soon as she saw what showed on her screen – she said that she couldn’t believe it, but that she thinks the placenta is retained.

I grew more worried and asked for Dr D as soon as I was returned to the ward. Nobody could confirm if Dr D was available or if she would be in that day. Dr D was also not answering her phone. I proceeded to phone Dr Z, my original gynecologist in Pretoria, and told her about the situation. Dr Z also attempted to phone Dr D, but to no avail. Dr Z advised me to immediately come and see her at the hospital in Pretoria.

I never heard anything from Dr D again.

Karl and I arrived at Dr Z’s around 09:30 where she immediately saw to me, did a sonar and was shocked to confirm that there was at least 10cm of placenta retained in the uterus (the laboratory later confirmed 15cm of retained placenta).

Prior to arrival, Dr Z had booked a hospital bed for me and cleared her afternoon schedule to perform a second placenta evacuation on me at 14:00 that afternoon.

I remember being wheeled into surgery and the anesthesiologist apologizing to me while he was trying to find a vein… I don’t have many exposed veins and the drip from the previous night was placed in the crook of my arm. However, it left my arm stiff and I had a tight shoulder for quite a while after that. He eventually found another spot to insert the needle.

The surgery was a success, however extremely complicated due to the extent of the damage caused by this being almost 4 weeks after the birth. I had lost another 2L of blood during the surgery and my infection count had almost doubled in 24 hours to 180. The medical team struggled to get me to after the surgery.

Strong antibiotics were administered to treat the infection.

Because of these aggressive antibiotics, I could also no longer breastfeed and had to express and throw away my breast milk during my hospital stay.

At approximately 19:00 that evening I went into full toxic shock and was rushed to the ICU after I called the nurse, and with the last call, was able to tell her that I was losing consciousness. The nurse immediately reacted. Dr Z and her team had to fight to keep me alive. It was like a movie – people shouting your name while running with you on the gurney, almost being rude to keep you awake. Lights flashing past, doors banging open and shut… eventually arriving in the theatre and seeing Dr Z, asking her to please phone Karl to tell him what was happening. Her response was: 'I can’t phone him now; I am saving your life.'

I could hear the urgency in her voice; we’ve known each other for years and she is not the kind of person to easily panic. I knew better than to argue with her.

I could feel myself flailing, going in and out of consciousness. Suddenly everything went quiet (what a relief!), I couldn’t hear anyone anymore and I couldn’t see anything to do with my physical surroundings. The pain and sickliness were gone, nothing hurt anymore.

I became aware of a Presence by my right shoulder, slightly towards the back, just out of view. In front of me was a soft pink glow, surrounded by even-softer green light. I was curious to see what it was, but I was asked by the Presence what I wanted to do: did I want to leave (earth) or did I want to stay (with my family on earth).

No words were spoken, it was just like an understanding; comprehending intelligence on another level. I didn’t want to be rude and not reply but I got a very strong feeling that if I didn’t choose soon, it would be too late. I thought about my two daughters (then aged 3 and 4 weeks) and my husband and decided to stay with them.

As soon as I made that decision, I started hearing everything again, feeling how sick my body was… Dr Z was standing to my right and demanded that I lie completely still – she had to insert a central venous catheter (CVP line) just below my clavicle – there’s a main artery that runs straight into the heart and this was our last resort – no anesthetic. A specialist was holding my left arm and a nurse was holding my right arm; if I moved Dr Z might punch a hole in my lung and then we have another problem. So I lay as still as I could and felt how the thick pipe wormed its way through my chest – straight into my heart. The next moment Dr Z released all the connections on the line and a rush of intravenous medicines pumped through my body. That felt quite good.

I was finally stabilizing but kept in the ICU.

Friday, 15 May 2015:

I seemed to be recuperating. The days spent in the ICU are very blurry. Somehow my cellphone was with me and I sent the strangest messages to my poor mother and husband… comparing the whole ICU situation to high school and then went on about being in a wildlife nature reserve…

Saturday, 16 May 2015:

We received some bad news – the infection count has risen to 270. The uterus had not contracted at all and was storing blood. Doses of oxytocin and other medicine was administered to try and save the uterus, but by 16:00 it was confirmed that I would need to have a hysterectomy, scheduled for the next morning (Sunday, 17 May 2015) at 07:30.

There was no other way, since I’s last known infection count was 400.

Sunday, 17 May 2015:

The hysterectomy was performed successfully, although I had to stay in ICU for observation.

Monday, 18 May 2015:

The infection count started to drop, and I was looking better.

Tuesday, 19 May 2015:

I was moved to the High Care Unit.

Thursday, 21 May 2015:

I was moved to General Care.

Friday, 22 May 2015:

I was released from hospital.

It was great to be back home, but I was still very weak. My mom had to help me with everything, I could barely walk and I’d be out of breath. I suffered nightmares for weeks afterwards and would make strange noises in my sleep.

I often think back on the NDE and wish I could understand it better. Coming back from an experience like that has often left me with mixed emotions… thankful to be here, seeing my family grow, and guilty because I might not be making the most of every day, not being a better person.

Whichever way, the Other Side is beautiful, peaceful and serene. I understand why people choose to die. It’s nice. Nothing hurts anymore. You are completely calm and safe.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Thursday, 14 May 2015

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Surgery-related Childbirth Retained placenta (not removed upon childbirth) Life threatening event, but not clinical death

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness I think I know exactly when I lost consciousness but some of what I heard and felt might have happened in between the conscious and unconscious.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the NDE and directly after.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. The space felt void of time, it's as if everything that was there (even though I couldn't see that much) was existing there in perfect harmony without rush or pressure or deadlines - it just was. Except for the feeling that I had to make a decision soon, all else was just being around me.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see that there was something ahead of me - a pink glow surrounded by soft green light - but I had to choose rather quickly whether I wanted to stay or go, so I couldn't see what it was. Otherwise, my vision felt normal.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. People's voices and the general noise drifted away until everything was completely calm and silent. I could understand, more than hear, the question that was asked of me. Words weren't necessary - everything was just understood... like clear, comprehensible emotions drifting between two beings.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain Only the Presence who was asking me what I wanted to do. I didn't get the sense that anyone else was around. Perhaps if I stayed a bit longer...

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes There was definitely soft light surrounding me and a pink glow ahead of me. It wasn't blinding, but rather pleasant. However, I couldn't see what was beyond the glow.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It clearly felt very different from where I was, I had obviously moved into another space/realm. Everything was peaceful and beautiful. I had no more pain; all the nausea and dizziness were gone - I was myself again. There was no noise, no shouting, no bright lights - just an atmosphere of calm. However, there was also a sense of urgency; not panic, just a hint of seriousness - that this was not be taken lightly and that I had to make a decision.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt very calm, even before I experienced the 'other realm'. I just went with it; I didn't panic or think to myself that I was going to die.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I was aware that I was reaching a precipice - it felt like if I didn't make my decision soon, I'd miss my chance to choose and I would cross a point of no return. It wasn't scary at all; I wasn't panicking about leaving the world behind. It actually felt so good to not hurt anymore that I had to think about staying or leaving for a moment. But then I thought of my young daughters and my husband, and decided to rather come back.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I was raised Christian (not very strict) but would describe myself as Spiritual... my feeling is that we're earth-bound and we don't know the whole picture. I don't like 'religion"; too many horrible things have been done in the name of it.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Spiritual; to be a good human being who is tolerant and open-minded enough to accept that everyone has their reasons for believing in something greater than themselves (or not).

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I've long-since believed that we exist beyond what we know. We get a chance to come back better every time, until we've reached the top of the spiral... like Mother Theresa - I think she's now an archangel or something similar, she's been here a few times and have now reached nirvana. I understand that dying is an intimidating concept - we never hear of what comes next, so we fear it. But now that I've been to the Other Side, my previous beliefs were just confirmed - we transcend, we expand into the Universe and we get choices for what comes next.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My values and beliefs I think stayed similar, but my view has changed... having an experience like that... you live with it forever, I think about it a lot. I have questions... what might have happened if I stayed there a bit longer? Perhaps I should've asked the Presence a few questions (I had the opportunity, I was there!!) Then I start feeling bad because maybe I didn't make the most of the experience... not many people get to go thru something like that and maybe I let go of it too quickly. And what was that pink glow? What was beyond it? I often think that I needed to see something, there was something there, but I left in a hurry and didn't reach full understanding. I wish I knew more...

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin There was a very clear Presence to my right, just behind my shoulder. I didn't/couldn't look at It directly (I was a bit distracted by the beautiful glow ahead of me). The Presence was calm, patient and loving, but insistent to receive an answer. As soon as I made my choice, It disappeared, along with the soft light and I once again became aware of my physical body and the medical team.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain The Presence was very real and very serene, not intimidating at all. I might describe It as God, but my background will influence that. Whatever It was, it was not of this world. It felt loving, omnipresent and holy.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I didn't receive information as much as I just felt welcome... the place felt nurturing and secure; as if it was a part of me or I was a part of It.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes There was definitely a Presence (I would describe it as God) to my right. It was close to shoulder, but slightly towards the back of me. It wasn't speaking out loud, but I could clearly comprehend what was asked of me. I got the same question twice: 'Would you like to stay or would you like to leave?" Meaning that I had to choose between my physical life and this realm. It asked me twice, because I was a bit distracted by the beautiful light emanating ahead of me - there was something I needed to see but I couldn't and I had to make my decision before I could figure what it was that I was looking at.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I just knew that staying in that realm would be a pleasant experience and that I wasn't 'dead' in the usual, morbid sense of the word.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Yes When I entered the other realm, I knew that it was something that existed, it was a real place. The Entity that I perceived was Something that felt all-knowing, omnipresent and loving. There was definitely more to see and experience there, I wish I did... but I didn't feel like I had the time to linger much longer. But I am certain that it extends much further on than what I was privy to. It felt like a place without borders, limitless, a vast expanse of calm and serenity.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes I know now that dying is not so scary. We grow up with this horrible idea that the unknown is something to fear, and it really is not. I understand now why people choose to 'die". It's nice, it's very pleasant. Nothing hurts anymore. Nothing is uncertain anymore. It's a wonderful feeling of peace and quiet. I say 'die' because we keep on existing beyond the known. We extend into another realm.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain Again I didn't receive information as much as I just felt loved. The whole place felt loving and caring.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life Death was a more foreign concept before my NDE. Even though I believed that we existed beyond, I wasn't sure how the experience of dying would be... what do you compare it to...? Now, I can describe it as going into a fabulous sleep - that good kind of sleep that you drift into after you've crawled into your warm and snugly bed after a tough day. It's divine!

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Initially it was hard to realize what had happened and to put it into words; it was quite surreal. There simply is nothing to compare it to... I don't know anyone else who has had (such a vivid) near-death experience.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I seem to remember quite a bit of what happened prior to the NDE... calling for the nurse, her quick response, being rushed into a theatre-like room... but there's a piece in between there and the occurrence of the NDE that I don't recall very clearly. I also remember a few things after, but most of the next day is a complete blur. The NDE, however, is very clear in my mind. I don't know how long I was 'out"; it felt rather quick, but time was a jumble at that point.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I've always been quite intuitive, but recently I've come into contact with more like-minded people... people who have either experienced NDE's or have been close to it, people who have knowledge of previous lives... interesting things like that. I've also felt a stronger connection to Nature in general and I try to treasure these connections and nurture them.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It felt like the experience was quite short, so the whole thing carries significance to me. That Presence was very real, and very insistent that I make my decision. The light was so distracting, I really wanted to look at it more, but I couldn't be rude and I really had to choose quickly. Why was it so short? Couldn't I have lingered a bit? ...it was such a nice place!!

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I remember sharing the experience with my husband and mother quite quickly after leaving the hospital, a few days...

My husband, a sceptic, listened attentively and was amazed. My mom was a bit shocked and extremely relieved that I lived to tell the tale.

PS: I first started completing this questionnaire in August 2018. I am only completing it now, in October 2021.

I cannot really say why. I saved it and only came back to it now.

I think they believe me, for the most part. I can't blame them for being a bit skeptical if they are - the whole experience is so esoteric and people don't have anything to compare it to if they haven't experienced anything like it themselves.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew it was real, it was just too vivid to not have been real, but it was hard to explain.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I searched for books and articles about NDE's, and a lot of what I experienced and sensed was similar to other people's experiences who lived through an NDE.

It was amazing to read and a relief to know that the beautiful Realm I saw is truly a 'place' that exists.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I wish I knew more of what it meant, what I am supposed to do with this experience. It feels as if I was made privy to something so much bigger than myself and I'm not sure that I've really tapped into it. Should I do more? Should I seek out more people to discuss this with?

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Did I realize / consciously think 'I am dying"? - no, I just went with it, it felt natural. I wasn't struggling or fighting back. I wanted to stay 'on the Other Side' for longer, know more, ask more questions, but I KNOW that my time there was extremely limited for some reason... I'm not sure whether it was because my organs were rapidly failing, or that perhaps I was 'allocated' a certain time... not that TIME matters over there, it's of no consequence.

Did I miss the 'special knowledge' I was supposed to receive? Did I miss something?