NT NDE

Experience Description

I was with my boyfriend at the time, and we were strangling each other during sex, which was one of his fetishes. I remember he was on top of me, and we were already having sex. He put his hands on my throat and squeezed my throat, and I felt like I was dizzy and on my way to passing out a few times, when I really did pass out. The last thing I saw was his face and arms, and the ceiling behind him, seemed to zoom away from my field of vision and disappear into blackness, as if I just fell down a well, although I did not have the sensation of falling yet. When I couldn't see him anymore, I saw only black, and had a vague feeling that I was tumbling through the blackness.

I lost orientation to what was up and down, and what direction I was falling in, but I knew I was falling. After a little while, I 'sensed' that I was upright (though everything was still all black) and that I was 'falling forward.' I was moving fast, at the same speed of the perceived free fall from earlier, but I was upright and moving forward. I was trying to see in the blackness to get my bearings, and to see what I was heading towards. I remember being vaguely worried that I would 'hit the ground and die,' but that this was unlikely since I was falling sideways. I started to see this green light far off into the distance, and I was curious at first, and a little bit relieved that I could finally see something. Then when the light was coming closer, I got scared of the source of light. I had a vague feeling it was evil. I remember thinking of something like the source of light was Cthulu (even though I am not really a cult follower or anything like that). I fell forward and upright, faster and faster to it, and got more terrified of the green light.

Then I started to relax and think maybe whatever or whoever it was had something to tell me. By the time I was close enough to make out that the green light was an orb, covered with appendages of some kind, I was anxious to see more of what it looked like. Then suddenly I woke up, and my boyfriend was slapping my face and shaking me. He said I was out for just a few seconds, but I felt I just woke up from a twenty minute dream.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: summer 1999

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Sex related asphyxiation Other 'Asphyxiation play during sex, when I lost consciousness. I am not sure how life threatening this was.'

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It seemed equal, except for the disorientation during the first part of the 'fall.'

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Disorientation of direction, thought I was gone for twenty minutes, when it was just a few seconds.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see 'farther.' When I was falling, the image of my boyfriend stayed clear until it disappeared. When I was falling forward, I felt I could see details from far away, but that the glowing light obscured some.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain The fall felt like a fall through a tunnel, but this is only clued in from the visual of my boyfriend getting farther and farther away.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I saw the creature that was the green glowing orb with appendages. I didn't know them. They were floating in the blackness. They didn't communicate with me, but seemed to be waiting for me.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Green, from far away, and maybe it was a big round ball or orb, that had some kind of appendages all over it, like limbs or tentacles- but more limbs I think.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm blackness

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear, curiosity, calm, confusion.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal vaguely agnostic.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Liberal vaguely agnostic.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain It involved sensations that I was spinning, or falling, but there was no visual stimuli to cue me into it. I could only feel if I was upright or tumbling based on equilibrium sensed in my head, and sometimes the direction of the 'wind.'

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Sleep paralysis with hallucinations, that my friends think were ghosts. Also have been told I might be able to astral project, by a friend and a schizophrenic.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I think the green thing might have been evil or neutral. It was not 'good.' I don't know what it means that I was afraid of it at first, and then I really wanted to see it to see what it had to say.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately after, I told my boyfriend. No.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Some vague generic understanding that it involved tunnels with light at the end. I watched 'flat liners' too, years previous.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real I think it's just neurological activity when blood and air gets cut off from my brain, along with some imagination influenced by culture. But anything is possible.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably not real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? There should be more questions about any negative experiences with this. Many of the questions tended to point to only positive.