Nicole G NDE

Experience Description

On July 13, 2023, I was rushing to make a weights class at my local gym. I was 51 years old and was determined to do a 'Fit in my 50s' program. I had subjected myself to training in some form, 5 times per week, as well as working full-time. I was tired that morning and it was my third day in a row training. I recall being late to the class. So, I snuck in and had to set up my step and weights bar at the very front of the room, to the side where nobody really wants to go. A man, who was a regular in the class, came in even later than me. He ended up in front of me, nearly up to the front mirrors. It was a full class.

We did our 5-minute warm up and then we put on the heaviest weights of the class for the squat track. I recall my legs being fatigued already and feeling reflux pain in my throat. I had been trying to wean myself off my reflux medication prescribed by my gastroenterologist and trying to take it every third day. I made a mental note to self that this wasn't working, and I should take it when I get home. The next set was chest press whilst lying down on the step/bench. I crouched down, adjusted my weights, lay back on the step and put my arms in the air with my weights bar overhead. I was waiting for the music to start. That is the last thing I remember happening in that room.

Then, I was standing near what looked like a long reception desk for a hotel or office. I was standing like someone would be standing in a dream; such as not really aware that I have a body or that my feet were on the ground. I was just watching something. Everything was a white/gold including the floor, the reception desk, the the walls. The long desk ended at a vertical wall to my left. To the right of the desk was a door that people would slowly wander through. They would walk right past the desk, between myself and the desk. There was a guy and girl behind the desk. He was nearly up to the wall and listening to her tell a story. They were laughing and chatting. I had a sense that I wasn't facing straight on, but that I was turned towards whatever was to the left of me slightly. My head was looking at the people behind the desk. At the same time as writing this, I find it hard to describe as I didn't actually feel like I had a body. I was in a dream state, but simultaneously knowing that this was the way my posture was.

I felt such an encompassing feeling of calm. It was so wonderful just watching these people. I suddenly heard a female voice to my left who sternly yelled my name, 'NIKKI!' 'No,' I thought, 'Later. I am not going anywhere, they can wait.' This is too calm and nice, and I am enjoying myself too much. I kept watching.

I saw the girl leaving the desk, and then run back to the guy as their whole demeanor changed. She was telling him something urgent. Then she ran out from behind the desk and ran to my left. The trickle of people that were wandering through the door to the right suddenly became many more hurrying people. Something is up, I was thinking. The guy stayed behind the desk but he looked. I could feel that he was worried and curious at the same time. He leaned over the desk towards the left to see if he could see anything but he didn't leave the desk.

I also heard a male, authoritative but kind voice, telling me that, 'It isn't your time. You must go back.' At some point I saw a man wearing a brown hat like they used to in the 1940s and I knew that it was his voice. I was disappointed that it was not my father's voice. I didn't recognize him or his voice but I knew that he knew me. I couldn't see him properly, like when there is light behind someone such that their face in in shadow. I am not sure when in the sequence of standing in front of the desk happened. It was like it was happening at the same time. Time didn't seem to be relevant and trying to write this down and make it linear doesn't make sense. All I can say is that these events happened and that I cannot put an order of time to them.

Then I was trying to open my eyes but I couldn't see properly; I was rolling my eyes around trying to see. I heard awful groaning noises and realized that they were coming from me. I got scared and tried to yell. I could sense that there were a lot of people standing over me and sternly calling my name. They were in control and looking after me. I looked up at the ceiling and wondered what recovery ward I was in and why I couldn't remember what procedure I had.

At some point, a woman was leaning over me and asked me if I knew where I was. I shook my head, 'No.' She then asks me what my name was, and I tried to say my name but it felt like my mouth was full of mud. But I managed to say, 'Nikki.' I heard an audible sigh of relief from a woman on my left. It turns out she was a gym member who had been holding my hand the whole time that I was receiving CPR and being shocked by the AED. The man who was in front of me was a retired doctor who had been head of an emergency department of a major public hospital here in Sydney for more than a decade. The man behind me was a vet who is a serial-saver and I was the third person that he had attempted to resuscitate today. I have given him a score of 2 out of 3 success rates. So, this gives me the sense that I was definitely meant to be here. This, plus the fact that the chest set was supposed to go for 5 minutes and nobody noticed me lying there purple, with no pulse. Then the instructor decided to vary it that day and told everyone to get up after 90 seconds and do pushups. She noticed that I didn't move.

In hospital I kept asking questions. I wanted to know about the reception desk, whether there is a white desk that I rolled past in the hospital, and where was this reception desk? Nobody had any idea what I was talking about. As I was taken in through the emergency room where there is no desk. I had time to think in the hospital. It took a while to get diagnosed with a rare heart condition. I went back to the gym a couple of months later to test out my theory and stood in front of their reception desk from a certain angle. I wasn't convinced, because from that angle I was standing, I would have seen a rowing machine and the like in front of me. That is not where I had been.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 13.07.2023

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes CPR given Sudden Cardiac Arrest Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I had a sudden cardiac arrest at the gym. I had been experiencing angina in some form for about 18 months prior but I had not been diagnosed with any heart disease. In fact, I had been told by various specialist that there was nothing wrong with my heart and that I had reflux issues.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I have described all the events that I saw happening in the foyer area of the gym. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal. It felt more like a dream state than the acuteness of real life.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It would be when I was at the reception desk and watching what was happening there.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. I have already described how time didn't really seem to matter; Or more like, time was irrelevant.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It is completely different. It seems that I saw the energy of things and people rather than the actual things. Everything including the desk, floor, and to some extent the people were a white/gold glow. But that seemed completely normal to me at the time.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't recall hearing what people were saying in the foyer/reception, although I could easily take in their emotions. I could hear what people were saying next to my body when they were calling my name. Although at the time, I felt that I was in the foyer area. I also heard the man telling me it wasn't my time but it was not like traditional hearing like someone speaking to you and you receiving it. I think it was just something that I understood from him.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain. I am unsure who the man was who told me my message.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain. The man that I saw was more like a silhouette, as he had light behind him.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Such beautiful calm, peace and tranquility.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. I feel like I was not being given a choice, I was being given a directive that it was not my time.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Jewish. At the time of my incident, I was more spiritual then religious.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I now know that there is definitely G-d orchestrating events. I now keep Shabbat in my own way. I also say a morning prayer thanking Hashem for another day, and the prayer accepting that Hashem put my soul in my body and will take it from my body one day.

What is your religion now? Jewish I have become more knowledgeable and observant in some aspects, but also have the sense that some rituals are manmade and have not much to do with Hashem (G-d). Hashem is everywhere; I do not need to go to synagogue to experience Hashem's presence.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I suspected that we had a soul, but I wasn't 100% sold on the idea. There was an element of doubt.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe that we all have a purpose, that we all have a soul. I believe that we have a body but we are not our bodies. I believe that in this world we get caught up and worked up about totally inconsequential things that absolutely do not matter in the big picture. I believe that there is an infinite consciousness that I call Hashem and that we are a finite part of that consciousness.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify. I have already described the man that I saw who told me that it was not my time. I am not sure who he was but with his brown 1940s style hat I feel it could have been my grandfather.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes My heart was not beating, I had no pulse, and I was in another area of the gym. I see this as proof that there is continued existence after earthly life.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life’s difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain. The feeling that I had was that what I was feeling an experiencing was the only thing that was relevant.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I am now a lot more serene. I don't let the little things bother me, and I try not to take in other people's negative emotions or expectations. I have embraced yoga and meditation, on finding balance. I have given myself a permission slip to not work too hard, and I try to make more time for relationships, and have quality time. I went through a stage of trying to find my purpose actively and putting pressure on myself that I must have a very important mission whilst here on earth. Now I have relaxed more and realise that whilst I believe that we all have purpose it will present itself. I am much more spiritual as well, and I get the feeling that I can speak to G-d anywhere, and although there are a lot of rituals in my religion, they seem to be more about the people than about G-d. I have tried to do more learning of Judaism and I start to get stuck when it gets bogged down in so many rules. I feel that all religions are on a path to the same thing in the end, which is access to an infinite consciousness where we play a finite part in that consciousness.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain Some have, some people have drifted away, and others have become closer. There are some I am close to that are atheists and they have never asked me and I have never told them because I don't want to have that conversation with them. That they think there is some residual brain activity, that I was dreaming, something like that. I am also much closer to my sister now. It is easy to drift back into everyday life and get caught up in someone else's anger or frustration. But when I am mindful and step back and remind myself, do meditation and yoga, then I get back into that mindset again.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain Time seems irrelevant, so I can describe parts of it, but they don't have any particular order to them.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I had mild brain hypoxia from the event. So, things after the event were quite hazy. I only remember bits and pieces of the events after. Just before I remember in detail, and my experience I remember in detail, although I forgot about the man in the brown hat and the light for a while until my husband reminded me that I told him soon after I came to hospital. Then I remembered having my daughter sitting me and asking whether it was my dad. I said, ‘No, I don't think so.’

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have rediscovered what I had when I was younger. I could always just know about something if my energies were directed towards a certain person or thing. When I was little I knew about my grandmother. When I was a teenager I would just know things about a boy I had a crush on. When I was a kid I could do a 'roll a 6' energy dance and it would work. I had forgotten about all of that.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The absolute sense of calm and peace and Happiness that I had. I have a friend that recently committed suicide, and at his funeral not only did I suspect that he was there but I knew he had been released from the pain that he has been in for decades with his depression. He is peaceful, calm and happy. I felt so much anguish and sadness for his family but so much relief for him.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I first told some people when they came to visit me when they asked me and afterwards I felt violated. A few months later when I was back in hospital, a hospital orderly asked me and I told him. I saw it gave him assurance as he said he was Catholic so I felt a bit better. I was asked to speak at synagogue over a Jewish festival of learning 10 months later called '4 things I Learned Since I Died'. I carefully wrote a speech and it felt good to share, as it was appropriate. I had so much feedback after that from medical profession in the room, to religious people and others that said they felt inspired.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain I didn't know what an NDE meant, but I knew the general concept. I didn't have much knowledge of it though.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real. It took a while to unpick from what I was being told happened to me. I also had brain hypoxia and was a little confused for a while.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. I know what I experienced was real, and I went back to the gym and had it verified. I was clinically dead. There is no way that anything else could have happened.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I have read about others finding unconditional love and being one with the universe. Perhaps my experience didn't last long enough but I didn't experience that. I also didn't experience life flash backs or past lives. I also am slightly surprised that I didn't visit my own body. I was happy just watching the show out the front. Also, and I was not entirely sure where to put this. Since my experience, I do a lot of yoga and meditation. When I do shavasana pose, otherwise called corpse pose, where you lie on the ground and concentrate on your breath and hands resting up to receive. For about a year after my event, I could close my eyes and see things so vividly, and in such detail. It was almost like one of those nature documentaries where I would have absolutely no idea what I was going to see. It may be a place, or flowers in such detail, or a building, anything. I never knew what those visions were or what I was going to see. But I loved it and it felt wonderful. The further away in time I am from my experience, the more this has disappeared until it has just been replaced by thoughts.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think this is a great idea.

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