NDERF does not endorse any commercial interests. "BACKWARDS: Returning to Our Source for Answers by Nanci Danison, JD You can read an abbreviated version of her NDE on NDERF Nanci D NDE. 'BACKWARDS relates the author's personal encounter with the being/entity we call God, even to the point of merging into its energy field. That degree of intimacy revealed that we are not separate individuals at all - our experience as such is an illusion and wonderful gift - but rather we are literally part of God's own self-awareness. That truth removes all doubt about the outcome of life and how it should be lived.'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes I had either a severe vaso-vagal response or an anaphylactic reaction to a local anesthetic.
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal My normal alertness level while in the body feels like I'm stuffed into a too-tight wetsuit made of cold, hard, clay, in comparison to that experienced during my NDE. I feel dull of intellect and slow in thinking and responding. As we used to say when I was a kid: 'I couldn't think my way out of a paper bag' with this level of alertness.My normal level of consciousness while awake, not including meditation states, is one tiny little slice of the consciousness I experienced during the NDE. It feels like I have forgotten who I really am. More importantly, the level of consciousness we experience while in the body operates at such a slow vibration that we actually perceive human life as reality, which I now understand is an illusion.Also see answers to questions three and four.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I have to answer that in two parts. First, my level of alertness did not change after it expanded dramatically once I was thoroughly infused with the Light. Second, my level of consciousness continued to evolve through higher and more expansive levels until I was about to fully merge into Source/God. At that point, I felt as though I had the same level of consciousness as Source/God, which is the level of awareness/vibration necessary in order to merge directly into it.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Shortly after I entered the Light I was bombarded with 'knowings' on all sorts of topics. One of them was about the human concept of time and how it does not actually exist outside the human experience of it. As I understand it, once we resume our natural state as a spiritual being, time and space no longer exist. I did note that huge amounts of what we would call 'time' transpired during my NDE - far exceeding the amount of Earth time that I was dead. In other words, the length of time a person is absent from the body has no correlation to how much can happen in the 'afterlife.'
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? When I first entered the Light I did a medical 'review of systems' (review of the status of all human physical parameters) to try to diagnose what had happened to me (e.g., did I faint, hallucinate, etc.). At that time, I had the sensation that I could 'see,' as we do in human form, in a 360-degree field of vision. Later, when I met Beings of Light, I could still perceive colors, brightness, and depth as I did while in human form, but the intensity was dramatically enhanced as compared to human vision. After I completed the transformation into a Being of Light myself, the human perception of sight dissolved. As I understand it, the sensation of vision is part of the human experience, the effects of which wear off once you make the transition to higher levels of consciousness in the Light.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I only experienced 'hearing,' in the human sense, once during my NDE. That was when I was consciously manifesting physical Earthly environments. At those times, I could hear what I would expect to hear in human form. There were no other audible sounds during the rest of my NDE.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes No, not to get into the Light. However, I must have been aware of the tunnel concept before I died, because I actually thought to myself, after I saw my body at some distance away from and below me: 'Wait a minute! I can't be dead 'cause I didn't go through a tunnel into the Light and I'm definitely in the Light.' That thought alone was sufficient to 'manifest' the Earthly environment of a tunnel with me inside it. The tunnel felt as real as anything on Earth did, but I was not fooled into believing it was real because I knew for a fact that I was not in a tunnel. 'Manifesting' is the word that popped into my mind as the explanation for the phenomenon of creating what humans perceive as physical reality just by thinking it. I subsequently manifested other Earthly environments to test the validity of that 'knowing.'
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I met five beings that I mentally called Beings of Energy, or Beings of Light, as they are more frequently called. I recognized these Beings of Light as my closest, dearest, most beloved friends - my soul mates. I knew none of them during this human lifetime. They were my eternal closest friends.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Saw it. Felt it. Was completely infused with it and the love, acceptance, joy, and peace that come with it. And, I lived in the Light for a long while as I evolved into higher and higher forms of existence.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The only 'locations,' in the physical sense, that I visited were those I consciously manifested myself. I did, however, evolve through numerous 'levels' of awareness/consciousness/beingness until I was no longer a being at all. Nothing was identified to me as a 'dimension.'
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I experienced the full range of human emotions - except fear. In fact, I was surprised by the fact that I could still feel anger, disappointment, indignation, and other so-called 'negative' emotions. I had always assumed they would not be possible in the afterlife.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I did have a life review of this human lifetime, but it was apparently conducted more for the entertainment of my Being of Light friends than for my own benefit. I also recaptured all my memories of all the hundreds of other physical lifetimes I had enjoyed, as well as life in the Light between physical lives.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I was so surprised that my experience was nothing like what my religious training had led me to expect that I accessed Universal Knowledge on the subject. What I got was sort of like a documentary of the development of religion on Earth, which documentary included the future. I only remember a few things about the future because I didn't care - I wasn't coming back here! It was later that I decided to return to human life. Then I desperately tried to remember as much of the future as I could while I was being sucked back into the body.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes As a result of viewing the history of religion on Earth, and accessing Universal Knowledge about life and death, I can no longer subscribe to any religion's tenets.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes As a result of viewing the history of religion on Earth, and accessing Universal Knowledge about life and death, I can no longer subscribe to any religion's tenets.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes All the above. It was my understanding that I had total access to the universal database I call Universal Knowledge. In addition, once I began merging into Source/God, I was imbued with a complete understanding of the universe and the purpose of life. Most of my first book is devoted to this information.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I left my law firm specifically because of the changes in me attributable to the NDE. And, I now have more NDEr friends because they are the only ones who truly understand me and what I have been through.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No The greatest gift I have been given by this experience is the ability to express much of it in words, often through analogies. I believe one of the reasons I personally had this experience is because I am an attorney, and have used words to communicate difficult concepts and emotions as part of my work.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes One gift is the ability to write books in words given to me while I sleep (and which I have to type out before I'm awake enough to loose them). There are others as well.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It was all so incredibly significant and meaningful. It literally changed my life, both here on Earth and in my eternal evolution. The part that still makes me cry after thirteen years is having been on the verge of total merger back into Source/God, and understanding fully that I do not exist as a being separate and apart from Source, and being allowed to make the decision to stop the process and return to Earth in order to share what I could remember with others, who, like me, have been struggling with understanding life. The depth of Source's love, and understanding, and willingness to allow me to continue the illusion of separation, astounds me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The International Association for Near-Death Studies (IANDS) groups and at two Universal Light Expos. Also it appears in Part III of my first book, 'Backwards: Returning to Source for Answers'.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I was convinced that it was real - more real than anything I had ever experienced in the body. But my doctors told me I had hallucinated it all. I wrote the first draft of my NDE story in 1994 to show to my doctors to try to get some understanding of what had happened.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It is my understanding that what transpired during my NDE is the 'real' reality. Life as a human is more like a dream, role in a play, virtual reality game, character in a drama, etc. though these words fall far short of actual explanation. It is further my understanding that all Beings of Light who are serving as souls to human animals will have some or all of the same experiences I did when the human dies, depending upon the individual's evolutionary level.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I have had spontaneous memories of individual events from the NDE, a second life review, two meetings with my council of Light Being advisors, and snippets of memories of other lives. I do not use mind-altering medication or substances. In fact, like many NDErs, I do not tolerate chemicals, especially drugs, very well.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? There is far too much to cover here. I suggest that anyone who is interested in more detail should read my books, the first one of which will be published in October 2007 and the other three over the next three years.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? While I understand that the mechanics of an NDE are of interest to scientists, I believe the 'knowings' NDErs gain are far more important for a non-scientist. I would hope that in the future you would include questions to elicit what NDErs learned about the purpose of life, who God is, who we are, how the universe was created, etc.
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