Experience Description

I was drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes all morning. I went to mow the lawn, when I attempted to start the lawn mower; I became aggravated because continuous pulling on the starter rope failed to start the motor. My adrenaline kicked in and I continued pulling on the starter. My heart went into rapid convulsions and palpitations, I have had a heart problem due to stress, and I was born with a heart murmur. I thought to myself, now look what you did you started the heart problem again. I needed to stop for a moment and relax, but this time my heart continued its convulsions. I quickly grabbed my arm to check my pulse; there was none because my heart had stopped.

I felt no pain from its stopping. I became weaker and began to stumble around eventually collapsing to my knees. I looked at the trees and the neighbor's house. The colors began to pixel into solid square blocks of colors. Like if you slowly move closer and closer to your monitor screen until you're nose touches the screen. Then I saw black color, still fully conscious but no longer in my backyard. I never really thought that I could be passing over, the thought never occurred to me. I had no more body, could not feel hot or cold. I didn't need to breathe, I didn't hear any sounds. I was pure consciousness. As I looked around, but not through my eyes, I just had vision and consciousness. I saw a black void endless in depth. I remember just thinking, 'Humm, okay, big black void?' As I was floating in the void, I turned to see what was pulling me forward slowly. I didn't feel any force on me just the sensation of being pulled towards something. I looked forward, if you call it forward, and saw a light in the void. I would say it was about four hundred yards ahead of me and I would be there in about two minutes, at my constant speed. As I drifted towards the white light that twinkled like a star it didn't hurt to look at it. After the year I finally realized the passage in the Bible, I believe it goes, 'As I enter into the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil.'

Suddenly and quickly, faster than I entered the void, everything went into reverse and I moved away from the white light. Colors that were blocks of color began to focus again and I saw the trees and house clearly again. I was back in my body in the backyard. I felt sick and was going to vomit. I got up from my knees, and went back into the house. I lay down and pondered the experience.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 9/12/99

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Heart attack Clinical death I have had heart palpitations, but with this event I know my heart stopped because I know the feeling of the palpitations and normal heart rhythm. And I could feel my pulse had stopped.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes As I entered the black void I realize my body was no longer with me. I could see but only with my mind's eye, like dreaming, but everything was clear and I was pure consciousness having retaining all knowledge of my life and memories. I was not any smarter.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was fully conscious of the event and could see clearly in my mind's eye what was happening around me.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I don't know how long I was out in the black void, but my body was cool when I returned to it.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard nothing only my own thoughts on thinking what is going on.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It wasn't the tunnel or enclosure just a black void of endless space and the white light ahead of me.

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The classic white light that doesn't hurt your eyes. Or should I say my consciousness's eyes.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was not sure what was happening during the experience. I was just curious about what was it I was seeing.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal I believe in the Roman Catholic church but am open to other belief systems.

What is your religion now? Liberal still open to other belief systems.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I know there is a supreme creator and life is not a cosmic bang phenomenon caused by space dust and amino acids.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have been psychic before the event, but never really investigated my abilities. However, I now can communicate with the dead, for people who wish to talk to them. But other psychics take twenty or more years to fully develop their abilities, like John Edwards from sci-fi channel. Or James van Praagh. I got their books, studied, and can do it. But it's only been six months and I really wish not to continue because it's a decision that I made because it would be a lifelong endeavor to fully study and development my abilities to their full potential. I do not want to go that path. I know I can do it. Therefore, I know the ability is real. I have done readings for co-workers and some say I was on the money.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best part of it is knowing there's really something after death.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes They are mediocre to neutral in their feelings but more of a positive response from religious Christian believers.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I think life is all about becoming a better perfect person.