Matthew S NDE

Experience Description

An ambulance arrived and paramedics came into my house to rescue me. I was experiencing uncontrollable muscle spasms, so I was tied to a stretcher to avoid hitting anyone. I was then carried upstairs into the outside of my house. They loaded me into the back of an ambulance. My heart was beating too fast and steadily increasing. Despite concentrating to slow the rhythm of my heart, my heart rate continued to dangerously increase. I kept fighting to stay alive. However, I became too exhausted so I let go.

When I woke up, I felt very refreshed, clear minded, and a sense of serenity. I felt no pain. There was only peace. was not beating and I had no need to breathe. As I look downwards, I saw earth. I thought I was looking through a spaceship window. I checked for the edges but there were none. There were also no spaceship electronics because I was not in a spaceship. From a specific geolocation, I was viewing the earth in the same objective reality we are experiencing now. I was being separated from the earth. Earth reminded me of a bunch of entangled energy particles that had been copied and collected into one spot.

I looked down to see my hands, but all I saw was a sky blue haze. I was in orb made out of blue light and in the form of my core self. I was in the soul that I'd always known as "my self".

I looked over the earth a few times, simply to marvel. I noticed there were other blue lights the same as me and they were floating away, recently departed. in between the earth and stars, I was hovering in a zone called "the void." I started to worry because unlike the other souls, I was not ascending.

I watched as one of the departed flew away from the rest of the blue lights. So I flew over to become acquainted. As we got within speaking distance, we started to communicate. As if thinking in blocks of information, we both learn all the good parts of each other's life stories almost all at once. I saw the man's family, the interior of his house, himself going through a hair-balding phase, and learned all the joyful moments that he had. Then, as if becoming one of my best friends, he flew away happily and saying goodbye. I was so excited to meet another person that I wanted to meet more and do this forever. I looked around the horizon and found a group of blue orbs who were hovering around each other in the distance and above earth. When I went to meet the group I found that I could not. They were good souls but under developed. They were learning from one another and building themselves up. They were not to be interfered with. The learning blue orbs zone was that of purgatory. Instead of the souls willing to be forgiven in purgatory, the innocent beings were shepherded together within a force field.

As I watched, I saw another line of souls began moving past me in a single file line; as if they were being expedited directly to heaven. I felt angry because I thought they were lesser than me, not as well mannered, and not as educated. I suddenly realized that this line of thinking made me prideful and I realized how much I had sinned.

I began looking for a way to exit, but a number of larger works caught my eye. They were flying to and from the earth and observing, protecting, relaying information, and harnessing stray souls. I saw a flock of white lights bordering near the outside of space. There were billions of lights who were all former humans and they were moving in harmony. They were slowly folding together in the same way birds do in a flock. The sight was beautiful. I was looking at heaven.

A large white orb appeared in the distance between myself and the other large orbs. Although the orb was standing still in space, the orb wanted me to come closer to greet me. As I flew toward the orb, the pure white shape of a genderless human that was wearing a robe made of light. I knew that the being was super intelligent as well as much larger than me. I estimated that the orb was around 15 to 20 feet taller than me. The being's face was such a bright white light, that I cannot describe what I saw using the colors we see on earth. The angel was so beautiful that I was in absolute awe. The angel had tones of infrared blue and gold shimmering off of the form. I knew that I was to trust wherever the angel was going to take me. I felt embraced by the being, as if we were tied together while we suddenly rose up like we were in a big, invisible elevator. As the elevator came to a halt, I looked up at the angel who was standing at attention, as if someone very important was behind me.

Suddenly, a light shined on Angel that was brighter than the angel. I knew that this was the light of God. I cannot turn around to look at God because I feared doing so would mean that I could no longer go back to earth. I also had no doubt as to his existence - at all. I felt stupid, ashamed and embarrassed, and guilty for not having tried to live a better life before I met him. But then, I felt two arms hug me from behind and felt all of my shame being replaced with pure, unconditional love. I didn't want to stay yet, so I begged God to allow me to continue living on earth.

Right after the agreement, I was thrust back into my body. I was watching the florescent lights on the ceiling with past and I saw the double doors swing open. I was breathing again, my heart beating, and time was restored.

I was so excited, that I wanted to have my story validated, so I called for psychologist. Unfortunately, she dismissed my story as simply being a part of hyper mania. Her rejection caused me to become hesitant to tell others out of fear that they think I was crazy. However, I know what experience was much more than a hallucination. I was in this same reality, but observing from what I can only describe as an added dimension. I know that my subjective experience was reality and that I am sane.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: April, 2012

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose Life threatening event, but not clinical death I was experiencing an overdose on drugs - amphetamine and spice to be precise. I knew my life was in danger so ordered my parents to dial 911.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I viewed the globe's details from space, however could not see what was happening the same as one cannot tell what's happening on the ground when in an airplane. I clearly left my body and existed outside it.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal My viewpoint during the experience is best described as that of 4-d...whereby I wasn't experiencing the passage of time, but could see events or time as if all time happened or was happening nearly at once, as if I could view time as an object I saw it as being compressed. My thinking was amazingly clear - I was able to think about and understand large blocks of information at a time...far beyond what I am capable of now.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The entire time I wasn't in my body.

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Same as I described earlier...time was compressed to the point I was not experiencing the passage of time, however when viewing the Earth was as if all of time were contained and elapsing briefly, as if a few of my minutes translated to dozens or hundreds of years compared to regular perception.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision was 20/20. I didn't see any nearer or far away than I'm already used to.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The same but without any hissing or high pitch whining noise during silence. It was very clear as if having been restored to 100%.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes As described in my attached NDE

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I saw several lights that were unearthly. So bright white they took on blueish and golden tones - as if I was able to see infrared colors. However bright though, the lights didn't hurt my eyes.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? A range as described in my story. Peace, serenity, guilt, shame, panic, a pure and unconditional love, forgiveness.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt No longer in conflict with nature

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events I cannot name particular life events I became aware of during the experience, but it was as if I could view my entire life up to that time.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of No return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I begged God to return to Earth and live out the rest of my life.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I believe in God now without a doubt, however didn't change much or anything at all for a number of years after my experience. I felt depressed because I thought I was one of very few to have had such a profound experience, saddened by people in general because I KNOW GOD EXISTS, while so many others will question for the rest of their lives or be in doubt. I became much happier to be alive after the experience, grateful, and more aware of the many synchronicities we often find occurring throughout the days' time and again...reminders of being a part of God's plan much greater than ourselves.

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Today I am certain God exists, and understand getting into heaven requires work on Earth. I believe if we don't do enough good here we are faced most commonly with reincarnation, however if we sent God altogether or laugh at him during our judgement prior to heaven, we very well may face our souls being omitted or sent to another dimension.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I heard GOD's voice, but all I can remember him saying was DO NOT FEAR YOUR DEATH... He had a voice that was familiar and unmistakably GOD, however I cannot conjure what that sounds like now after the experience - the voice was loud and deep like a man's voice.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes Please refer to my NDE

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes All people are heading to the same heaven if they've been good, and all people will have a chance to ask God forgiveness if necessary and beg for their salvation.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I heard God speak and saw his light cast onto the face of an angel as I described.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I wrote this once before and the page deleted the info for whatever reason. But, our purpose here is to love and care for one another.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes As stated in my experience

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes It is unnecessary for us to carry guilt and shame because we do not take any of that with us and cannot experience that sadness after we enter heaven. The dead do not miss their loved ones on Earth as they're in a state of bliss.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes No one loves us as much as God.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No. I seemingly have a harder time finding friends today and fewer friends than I did prior to my NDE, however that is likely due to my aging and result from various factors. I find I care a lot more about the few relationships I have today, and view relationships here as a trivial part of life - as opposed to prior whereby I based my ego off of who I knew and such.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The experience was so amazing I found writing to be very difficult.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember my NDE better than any event I've had during my lifetime.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The entire experience was meaningful and significant.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately afterwards I shared with a hospital psychologist, as stated in what I attached. Yet after her initial rejection I didn't share for a couple of years. Not until now have I given such a full account of what happened.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes My original knowledge about NDEs came from TV and movies, the traditional type whereby people float above their bodies and see surgeons or paramedics working on them. I had No idea there was a space referred to as the void until after having been suspended there and searching for similar experiences afterwards.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I viewed the reality of my experience as occurring the same way reality is occurring now, except I had much more clarity of thought and enhanced perception. I was definitely not dreaming, and was viewing objects as having permanency the same as they do now. For example, if I point to a chair in the room and see that it is a chair, I can look away and look back and the chair is still there, unchanged or as it was when I first observed. I could see the Earth and stars during my NDE, but observing them as if I was the same distance as a satellite. I could look away and look back and the Earth and stars did not change their positions or melt away or anything like that of a dream. Details we cannot produce in our minds such as the site of grass glistening with dew in the morning. We might try to envision that closing our eyes but unable to bring into focus. Only by experiencing such firsthand while awake can one see all the details.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I trust my memories, and despite having experienced delusional thinking in the past, the reality of my experience is reality as we all know the same.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I believe I've written enough. :)

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Keep your form FREE of charge. You could have asked "how long was the experience given what perception of time you had?" I'd say about 15 minutes elapsed while I was in the void, per say, despite my story being a 5 minute read and myself "lacking the perception of time" The events that transpired essentially felt as if 15 minutes elapsed in total.