I had just been rejected by a fiance and had been battling a drug addiction to anything that would get me high, except heroine. I had rejected my Baptist teaching as I felt that God was in all religions. I was not high and had not taken anything on this day. I was so sad after praying a Krishna prayer because I felt totally alone. I put on an album and was playing a song about a lighthouse- keeper and hope. I felt as if I had lost all hope. I stood up and threw myself straight down against the corner of my desk. The corner hit me square on my forehead, right between my eyes. I was immediately bounced back onto my bed. The first thing I heard was a high-pitched ringing in my ears, like the sound after a huge blast of noise and your ears are just ringing afterwards. Only this was really loud. Then it was a sound like being completely surrounded by a jet engine, less the high pitch noise; it was also like the continuous thundering like the sound of sticking your head out of a car window at a high speed. While this was happening, I became aware that I was looking at the ceiling of my room but my eyes were closed. I was instantly moving through a tunnel with a rolling cloud that had a cold bluish light behind. The tunnel was lit at the end, not swirling but more like looking up at a gray storm-cloud. I immediately thought, 'Is this some sort of acid flashback?' But as soon as I had that thought, I was told, 'No.' I was instantly made aware that I was dying. I said, 'Jesus, I'm not ready yet.' That is when everything reversed. I came back. My life has never been the same since that experience.
Date NDE Occurred: 1978
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I was committing suicide.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Just seeing the roof of my room
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Whatever I thought it was like I was talking aloud.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? In the tunnel
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
There was no time. This happened in seconds but it was as if there was no such thing as time.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. All encompassing
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Completely immersed in the sound.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Into it. I never got to the end of the tunnel.
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes In my description above
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? First confusion, then I felt certainty
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes As soon as I said 'I wasn't ready yet': that was my boundary.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life I just said, 'Jesus, I'm not ready yet.'
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I had been experimenting with different types of religion and although being raised a fundamentalist Baptist background I had recently prayed a hare Krishna prayer with the thinking that God was in all religions. After I felt so alone and cut off.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I dug deeper to find if I could see any references to NDEs in the bible. There were a few, but one of the most profound is from a book that is not in the bible. It is in the book of Enoch. I believe he had to have experienced this by what he described.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian I am a Christian who is charismatic now
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I believed that after you die you get surrounded by amazing love and peacefulness and you see family and God. This was opposite to what I knew. But looking back I realized that taking my own life wasn't the way to get that surrounding peace. I envied people who had that.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes It made me realized that God and Jesus were beings of love and those other religions were mostly smoke-screens and led you the wrong way.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin It was surrounding me, but separate and encompassing.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain Its hard to describe. Like when you think out loud in your head.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes yes that our universe has a real creator that cares about every one of us
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes The whole experience. It demonstrated that God did exist and cared.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes That I had more to do with my life.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes Absolutely yes. With all of my being I understood then and there that life doesn't end when you die. And that the choices you make here, effect you there.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes That this did, really happen. And that I believe others who have had it happen. It was not made up, it was the most "real" experience I've ever had. That I didn't have to be afraid of dying. And I don't mourn at funerals unless its a suicide. Then I pray like crazy they didn't end up there.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I completely got off drugs, and I knew that, for certain, life continues. I completely got off drugs, and I knew that, for certain, life continues.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am more compassionate and seek compassionate people.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have a gift of prophetic utterance, dreams and visions.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The sound, the seeing of the roof of my room with my eyes closed, the tunnel, the light at the end of it, and finally the instant communication.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes About three months later. The reaction was from a group that was running the young street mission. I was going to do a concert for them. They warned me that it might prompt others to commit suicide. I didn't agree, also I was feeling rather awkward as to how to say what happened.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain Mostly biblical passages
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Instantly, this was so real from the time I ended back in my body.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Yesterday I heard in a church that when you die, you go to sleep. They mocked the idea that you'd experience anything. I didn't say anything but I will never go back there again. The reality is that this NDE is true. I volunteer at a cardiac rehabilitation facility. A great many of us have had NDEs and don't talk about them. I always ask if they coded and what did they see. It is fascinating the experiences they share.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? That no one ever dies. That if you fall in Love with God, things turn out way better. NEVER EVER commit suicide!
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Would you take a polygraph? I think the majority of us would.
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