Margaret B NDE

Experience Description

I was working as a seamstress in a sportswear company. Everyone knew I had seizures and had been trained in what to do, i.e. leave me be and call the paramedics. I felt a seizure coming, and moved away from the machine where I was working -- then I don't remember here.

I was watching from the corner of the room as the people worried and fussed about me. Then the paramedics came. One announced that my heart wasn't beating and began CPR. Then there was this sensation sort of like falling backwards -- but weirder. There was all this bright light, and then there was my grandmother. Suddenly we were at this meadow type place, and toward the distance, there were trees and people, many people. Near to us was a large flat boulder type rocky place, and there was a small creek running past it and beyond where we stood. There were several of my relatives there also, we had much conversation about things in my life, and that somehow I wasn't doing something I needed to do. I had all this 'happy peace' and wanted to stay there, but when I said so they began telling me that I needed to go back -- I wasn't done. My grandfather (weirdly my mother's father who died when I was a baby in another country) told me quite gently that I had to cross the creek and finish my work. (I haven't really remembered what this is, but am going to start hypnotherapy this month.) Everyone was so gentle, but insistent that I cross back over the creek, and eventually they won out.

The next thing I remember is being wheeled to the ambulance, and my supervisor was walking alongside me. It took me a second to find words, I knew I could speak, but there was this really strange sensation of 'finding' words. I looked at her, and said, 'I know I know You,' and passed back out. I can remember that I must have been grinning like a monkey when I said it because I had remembered that I knew her. That part has always struck me as silly, but somehow important.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: April 23,1987

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes heart stopped during a grand mal convulsion Life threatening event, but not clinical death I was at work and had a convulsion. (Fortunately, there were several people trained in rescue work, emergency medical technician types.) I remember the beginning of the seizure, then nothing. I was told that my heart stopped and it took about five minutes to get it going again.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Positive

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I don't know how to describe this part really. I looked and felt like me, only lighter somehow. Just standing in the corner and watching me jerk around on the floor, and then I stopped moving, like the light went out?

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Physically, I was unconscious. Everything else was crystal clear and more real somehow than anything I have ever encountered.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I was told that it took them five minutes to stabilize me and get me ready to move. But there was a lot going on where I was, and it should have taken hours.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was a strange zinging type noise when I was being pulled away. Almost like a synthesizer would make.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I was somewhere, with all this light and kind of foggy feeling, but I am unsure if it was a tunnel

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Grandma was the one who met me, and then we were in the meadow. There were many family members from both my mother's family and my father's. Many were unknown to me here, but I have talked to family about it and a few have been identified. I don't have a clue how we communicated -- talking without words -- sort of just 'knowing' what was being said.

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes That was where my grandma was. It was just sort of bright, and the light made a kind of foggy feeling, like it could be touched if I tried hard enough.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm There was this wonderful meadow type place with a creek and a rock. I think that looks rather silly written down, but it is a wonderful place.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I never was scared, and I think that is important. I was confused at first then as I thought, 'I must be dying' there was an incredible feeling of falling backwards fast, as thought I was being pulled somewhere, then more confusion, then there was grandma and EVERYTHING was okay; better than okay, wonderful. Lots of happiness and a peaceful feeling. I find that the sensation I felt helps me when I lose others -- I know that they are fine.

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I was told that I was a healer, and supposed to be in counseling. I did at the time understand what I wasn't doing and what I should be accomplishing. But all I can say now is it had something to do with energy and light. Rebalancing something? I am seeking a therapist now to try to get a better personal picture of this.

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I learned that my mother had been the nanny of my father and his wife -- after the experience, I found that I had two half-sisters and one half-brother. One of my sisters and I are in contact now. I did learn that I was drifting and not getting what I needed to do done.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Meeting my siblings. The death of a daughter that I never had. I tried adoption, but on the final visitation with her father, she was involved in a murder/suicide. The disappearance of my son -- he's okay, just finding what he wants from life -- I bet I could walk to where he is, somewhere in Arizona.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes There was a small creek that sparkled like diamonds. I had to step back across it to come back.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Everyone said that I needed to return, just cross the creek, we will be here when you come again -- but that to cross the creek was my decision. Funny thing is that I wasn't concerned with anyone here -- not my husband, or my children, or parents -- I came back to meet my sister.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate didn't have anything I could describe as religion.

What is your religion now? Liberal Eclectic pagan

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I am not afraid of death at all. I am not unhappy when friends and family 'cross the creek'. I don't like missing them, but it doesn't panic me anymore. I now have a firm belief in the 'powers that be', and that the soul doesn't end, any more than it began when it arrived here.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Somehow it is very difficult to describe. Which seems odd to me, because I recall it all so vividly. Colors, landscape, who was there -- but somehow the words just don't do it.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I find that I am unable to hold a 'real job' for any length of time. I have become (in my daughter's terms) 'spooky'. I often know things about people that I have no way of knowing. So I work on a national psychic line.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The reunion in the meadow. The sensation of being pulled away.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Been told that I was 'tripping' more than once. Been told that it was oxygen deprivation. Been told it was wonderful, and could I help them reach it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? All in all, I came back with a better attitude on life. If I go in the direction that I was pointed toward, I feel great and life gets sunny. If I try for anything else. i.e., phone operator, the world becomes a strange place for me.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think the questionnaire is very comprehensive. I can't think of any way to improve upon it.