Experience Description

I gave birth after a long labor. I kept saying the head was too big but they said the baby is small so I should be able to push her out. Eventually after eleven hours of labor, they decided to do a small cut. The baby shot out like a bullet and I tore. She was nearly eight pounds and her head was huge. They sent my husband home after he held the baby. They sewed me up and then tried to sit me up. I passed out. I was in so much pain in my kidneys and was totally exhausted. It was a hard pregnancy because I couldn't keep food or drink down. I weighed nine stone four pounds when I fell pregnant, and weighed nine stone eight pounds at nine months. They wouldn't listen to how ill I was. I felt when the baby arrived that she took all my blood with her. I also since learned that the method of birth is very dangerous and is called jet stream birth (when the baby shoots out without coming in stages).

When I collapsed, I decided to slip out of my body to escape the pain. I knew I wasn't allowed to go out all the way, just enough to get out of pain. I slid upwards so my soul body was sitting i.e. my head was above the bed but my legs were still in my body. I watched as the nurse shouted that there was no mask on the oxygen. They went running out looking for a mask. Then before I knew it, there were loads of people in the room. I had been slowly creeping further and further out, knowing that if I left altogether my chord would break and I would not be able to get back. I just knew everything like this. It was as if I knew everything there was to know. I watched as they pumped my heart. They brought blood in to defrost on the radiators. A junior doctor was pacing the room just turning the pages of my notes. He didn't have time to read anything; he just kept turning pages. Someone was calling out my blood pressure, which kept dropping. I just wanted to leave my body so I crept out further. I saw them bring in a portable x-ray machine. They mentioned pulmonary embolism. They took urine by catheter. An older doctor came in and asked for the urine. The nurse said she threw it away. He went ballistic; saying how was he to test it if she threw it away. It was pandemonium.

I decided to go. I didn't want to stay any more. I floated upwards. I felt I was floating up a tunnel or beam, like to a space ship, but it was all foggy and grey. I couldn't see what was behind me because I was floating backwards along this tunnel (like the one going to a plane). It was going upwards at an angle of about seventy degrees. I felt a pressure at the back of my spirit head as if I was being stopped from going any further. I heard the voice, which I assumed was God asking if I was sure about my decision to leave. When you are out of your body, you are pure love and only make decisions with the purest intentions. You are totally unselfish. I was asked to think about what would happen if I left now. I saw a scene of my daughter being brought up by her grandparents, with my husband paying the odd visit now and again. She was brought up very strictly and was deeply unhappy, nervous, and frightened. I then compared it to how I would bring her up and had to make the decision to go back. I got what sounded like a round of applause from Angels. It was as if their wings were beating to make the clapping sounds. I knew I had made the correct decision and that these beings were really proud of me. I so didn't want to go back to the pain and negativity that a human body holds. I was doing it purely for love of my daughter.

Then I was literally rushed back to my body. It is an experience I will never forget. It was awful. It felt as if I could not fit into the body. It was like trying to push something large and soft into a small metal casket. The pain was back and I was overwhelmed with claustrophobia and deep despair and negativity. As soon as I was back, I regretted my decision. I was now thinking like an earth person, only of myself. I so wanted to leave again and get out of this horrible body. I hated it. Every minute of every day since that time (thirty-three years) I have regretted my decision and wished I had not come back. Now my daughter is grown up and happy and my husband has left. The children have left home, and my depression is worse. I pray every night to be taken home, but I keep waking up on this hell. I knew when I was out of my body that I could have gone to heaven. I chose to come back to hell (earth) and carry on here. Hell is here.

Either you die, go to heaven, and progress; or you are sent back to hell to learn your lessons. I felt as if I would have been allowed to stay in heaven if I had not chosen to return. After I recovered enough to speak (two days later) I told my family what happened. I got nods and smiles, but it was obvious no one believed me. My husband was the biggest skeptic. He just did not believe any of it. When the doctor came to see me and I asked what happened, he said I had lost some blood and they had to give me a transfusion but everything is fine now. He didn't mention any of what happened that I saw, no one mentioned the jet stream birth; no one mentioned my heart stopping. I feel very bitter that if I hadn't seen what I saw with my own eyes I would be none the wiser. I have not had a good day of health from that day onwards. I have heart and lung problems and osteoarthritis now and can't get about much. I so wish I was back with the angels/aliens, whatever they were. A couple of years later (1979?) I saw a program on TV about NDEs. I shouted to my husband to watch it. I said, 'That's what happened to me!' He looked at me with such a look and then started asking me questions. I think he believes me now, but he never mentions it. I don't care who does or doesn't believe me. However, I cannot say it has been a positive experience in my life, although it has made me more spiritual. I know we change bodies when we die, or planets. I believe in angels, aliens, and other dimensions. I know when things are right and when they are wrong. I wish I had a purpose in life. I feel as if giving birth was my purpose but now that is done I want to leave.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 22 January 1976

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' I saw them thumping my heart and I felt a lot of panic. I saw things they all denied. I have never trusted doctors or hospitals since then.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I was sitting in my body.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was sitting in my body.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Like a foggy tunnel going upwards.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes They were above and behind me. I felt they were God and Angels but they could have been beings from another planet/dimension. They were also pure love.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Total love, compassion and unselfishness.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I saw my daughter's life if I didn't return. There is one part that I never mentioned that is spooky in its accuracy.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Was Church of England

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I don't believe in churches and religion, I believe in God and spirit and don't need to read a doctored book or go to a big church to do this.

What is your religion now? Moderate Now Spiritualist

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I don't believe in churches and religion, I believe in God and spirit and don't need to read a doctored book or go to a big church to do this.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I just knew how the universe worked, that God could have been an alien, that negativity belongs to the body only, as you are pure love out of your body.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I had a lot of trouble understanding my husband's total lack of belief in all things spiritual. Even when I told him things would happen, and they did, it just made him angry and he seemed to not want to believe any of it.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes No more than I used to have before, but now I believed in God again I wasn't scared about using them. I knew that they were okay with God and not bad like it says in the Bible.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The fact that I had always believed in God, and then at school they said we came from amoeba and God was not real. I had a real dark night of the soul after that from the age of twelve until this happened at the age of twenty-three. I then knew there really was a God and that he made us eons ago by genetic manipulation.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Two or three days after the event thirty-three years ago. Not much joy there, so the next time was about ten years ago to a very spiritual friend who believed me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It has stayed totally real and not diminished one iota since the experience. It doesn't matter what people say or do, I will never doubt what happened and will always be confident that what I now believe is real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real See above.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I wonder if anyone else has found the experience depressing, in that they wished they had never come back. I wish so much I was not in this body living on this hell (earth) and wonder when they will let me leave.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think the questionnaire is perfect.