When I lost consciousness, I immediately found myself on a row boat with 2 oars. I was alone. I saw two islands on the horizon. The current of the water was moving me rapidly (without the need for me to paddle) toward an indescribable island, which was the one on the right. It's beauty is not something that I can easily put into words. It was luminous, luscious, and I felt an unstoppable magnetic pull to go there. The sand was glowing white, and the water was crystal clear. The trees were huge and sparkling. I saw many people walking on the seashore in white robes. Some were walking alone, some with a companion, some in groups, some with animals. They didn't pay me any attention. They seemed as if they were just carrying on with their day. Although this island was rather far off, I could see every detail very vividly, even though I on earth I have terrible eyesight. I felt just love and joy in this place. I wanted to go there more than I had ever wanted anything before, and I was elated and excited that I was heading there. The idea that I had died or the world that I was leaving had never occurred to me. As I was traveling on this boat with great speed toward the 'heavenly' island, I looked on my left and took a passing look at the other island. It disgusted me to look at it. The water was dark and thick.....murky, like a swamp. There was no sand, just mud. Everything was dark mud. I could also see everything on this island very clearly even though I was far away. The trees looked deformed and threatening and had no leaves. The people were deformed, limping, dirty, moaning in pain. I was repulsed at this vision, until I saw my daughter, who was then 5 years old, sitting by herself playing on the 'beach'. This is when I realized that I was not looking at hell, which was my first assumption, but that I was looking at earth. It was then that I realized that I had my oars, and that I had the choice to go back to earth to be her mother again. I realized that she was the only reason that I needed to be on earth. I realized that I could choose to go to heaven though. It was all my choice. If I did not row, I would naturally be taken to heaven. It did not take me any time at all to grab my oars and start rowing with all my might to my daughter. I was heartbroken that I was unable to go to heaven, but I also knew that I would just be going there LATER, when my work on earth was done. I was angry at my daughter for existing. I kept thinking things like, 'because of YOU I have to come back to this horrible place!!!' I had to fight the currents of the water very, very hard to move the boat toward earth. It almost seemed like the harder I tried to fight the current, the harder the current fought me. I started to scream in an effort to make myself stronger. (You know how when you need to push or pick up something really heavy, you make this grunting or groaning sound. It was like that, except I was screaming.) I am sure that I rowed that boat with more strength than I have in my earthly life, but I finally beat the current, and rowed all the way to earth. I screamed the entire way, and the moment I felt my boat hit the shore, I woke up on earth. I would like to point out that as far as the 5 senses go, the sense of sight was by far the predominant one. I heard nothing but silence UNTIL I started screaming. I never heard the sound of water, even though I was in a boat moving down a river. I had no sense of smell or taste.
Date NDE Occurred: 12-25-05
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes carbon monoxide poisoning. Other: loss of consciousness. I don't know if I clinically died or not, as I was not at a hospital.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw my daughter, who was alive.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I could see more clearly. I had more physical strength.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The entire time
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time lost all meaning.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My sense of vision was the only more vivid one. I could see crystal clear, even things that were far away.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard nothing at all, until I started screaming at the end.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain The island I saw was luminous.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was on a river and saw two islands.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Joy, desire, anger
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes An island
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life The seashore was my return to life
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated I believed in God and had a Christian upbringing, but I was not going to church or practicing religion or spirituality of any kind.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant I have become a devout Episcopalian. I do not believe that this is related to me NDE, but rather to getting older and becoming an adult.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience My experience was nothing like what I thought death would be.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believed that a wonderful afterlife awaits me.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I saw unearthly beings but did not interact with them.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No I learned that my purpose was to take care of my daughter
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I learned that my purpose was to take care of my daughter
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I saw my life after death
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I look forward to death. I look forward to death.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is difficult to describe the beauty I saw.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The entire experience is meaningful to me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately, and I have shared it a lot since then. With the exception of one person, a priest, who seemed genuinely disinterested and annoyed at my telling my story, otherwise, everyone has listened with awe.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard some things on TV, but didn't really take any of it too seriously.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was real. I knew it was real. It was nothing like a dream. I don't normally remember my dreams, anyway. For a long time, I would get emotional just talking about my experience. It has been ten years now, so I don't get emotional any more, but I can still feel the excitement that I felt at getting to go to heaven.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Same as answer to 56
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
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