I went to the bank near my house. I walked past a group of stoners. They saw that I had exited the bank, and they told me to give them my money. I told them to forget it and kept walking. They began to follow me, but I kept walking and ignored them. After a while, I turned around the confront them. I told them to stop following me. I said that they had nothing better to do with their lives than to harass a random citizen of the town. After this, one of them pulled out a hunting gun. It was not the same as the guns people use in the U.S. or the guns portrayed in media. It was a rather small gun. A regular shot would not have done much, but one of the young men put the gun to my head. He told me to give him my money. I told him to wait one second while I was reaching in my pocket for my wallet. He understood that my saying 'one second' was a form of resistance, even though it was not. He shot me.
Suddently, I hovered over my body. I could see one of the youths kick me in the head as the group walked away. I tried following them while shouting at them, but they could not hear me. Another person who had witnessed the whole thing from afar had already called the Police. Help was on its way, but it needed to be fast. I watched as the paramedic came. Three men came out with a stretcher. 'What does it matter?' I thought. 'I am already dead so this is absolutely useless.' I ended up leaving this scene.
I was able to float very quickly. I was surprised that there didn't seem to be any spirits yet. I decided to go to the farm house that I grew up in as a child. I went into one of the fields and found the grave of my childhood companion, my cat Elmar. I remember he died when I was ten years old and I missed him ever since. I could see my messy childhood handwriting, as it said 'Elmar'.
The sky went completely black. I could not see anything. It was almost as if nighttime had just suddenly come, without any warning and without any lights. I was in utter blackness.
I saw a bright white light. It was going upwards. I decided to float up, towards the light. I managed to float into this stream of light. Suddenly, I felt very cold and was shivering. As I was rising, I saw snow flakes. I saw a piece of floating land in the distance. It had one pine tree and covered in snow. I was still so cold, but decided to go to that tree. Below the tree, I heard a meow. I looked down, and saw Elmar! Elmar was a white Persian cat. I could not believe it. He was watching me. His beautiful green eyes and long, luscious white fur. Suddenly, I realized I had hands. I was surprised by this. I picked up Elmar. While I held him, he purred. No longer did I feel cold. His fur completely warmed me up and I felt the energy of his love. It was just like old times. I began to cry in feeling of happiness. I could even smell him exactly the way he used to smell. I put him down, and could tell from his purring and rubbing up against me that I would be o.k., whether that meant returning to life or staying on this floating Island. Then, I realized Elmar's eyes had the same look as I remembered when something got his attention. In one giant leap, he leaped off the island and into the horizon. I was alone.
Then, I heard a very powerful voice. It told me, 'Kustav, it is not your time to die! Elmar will be here waiting for you when you get back!' Suddenly, I started floating backwards against my will. It felt as though I was getting pulled back. I was floating back down. I saw Elmar's grave once again. From there, I was floating back until eventually I could see the hospital where I was. I saw my body lying unconsciously on a hospital bed. I went inside my body. I woke up but could not talk. I felt pain, but I felt warmth in recalling what I had just experienced.
Date NDE Occurred: 12/05/2013
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Criminal attack. Direct head injury. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)
I was shot in the head, and totally unconscious. I was aware that something wasn't right.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I could hear the youths laughing as they kicked my head. Then, I heard the ambulance that came and the noise of workers opening the doors with a stretcher.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I felt more real. I don't know how to put it into words.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When the light appeared and I noticed the floating Island.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It felt similar to everyday life, but I was more aware of details such as the writing on the grave stone.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't hear anything, except for the voice at the end which was very loud and authoritative, but clear.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I saw a bright white light. It was going upwards. I decided to float up, towards the light. I managed to float into this stream of light. Suddenly, I felt very cold. I was shivering. As I was rising, I saw snow flakes.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw my childhood companion cat, Elmar, who took away the feeling of cold.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes same as last point
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I was guided by a light to an Island with one pine tree, covered in snow, with my cat.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Other than feeling some fear for just the few seconds of darkness, I felt extremely happy, emotional, and comfortable.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I was not super religious, but my family was Lutheran. I went to Church about once a month as a child growing up. I would also pray every night before bed and in the morning when I woke up.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant I still believe in the same views as I did before.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I believe I saw afterlife which is what I expected. I may have heard God. I did not see heaven or hell though.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. It was a very loud, authoritative, and calm voice - likely God.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain It could be that the voice I heard was God.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Uncertain Life seemed to continue, so it is possible that there is afterlife.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I felt as though I had absolutely nothing to worry about after I left the scene of the ambulance. When I experienced darkness, I felt stressed out. But the light coming brought me back to this feeling of total comfort and happiness.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? seeing my cat made me cry of happiness.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it about 2 years afterwards. I waited because I thought I would be laughed at. Estonia is the most atheist country in Europe, so most people did not believe me. Not even my own parents.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It felt totally real, and I had heightened senses. It still feels that way a few years later.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It happened for sure. I am religious, and I think it makes sense.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
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