I remember going into the operating room and then I felt myself swimming upward in something that was heavier than air but lighter than water. I was met by a magnificent female-type being that scooped me up in her arms as though I were an infant. She took me, placed me in a crystal-like bed, and told me to rest because there were beings who wanted to honor and welcome me. I saw beings queuing up to greet me. I spied Jesus amongst them and immediately felt as though something was wrong. I asked the being that brought me, 'How is it that Jesus wants to honor me?' I told her that I was afraid that putting myself at the same level as Jesus would damn me to hell. She laughed and told me there is no hell! We are all equal in spirit form. She then said that I was still veiled and made a gesture that must have taken off the veil because I immediately went to a place I now call the sea of light. As I stretched out my arms I felt as though my body exploded and I was no longer in bodily form. I could not see any separation. I had no beginning or end. I was truly one with all of creation and I could only see myself as a purple and gold light amongst all the other.The being that brought me told me it was time to go back. I cried and begged her to let me stay, but she told me I had unfinished business. She took me in her hands and somehow I was compressed into a golden egg and when I saw my physical body, she placed the egg on my chest and it sank into my body. I heard someone say something about me breathing and the next thing I remember is my family visiting me in my room in the hospital.
Date NDE Occurred: Summer of 1994
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function).
I was in surgery and was clinically dead for several minutes.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal When I was with the large being in the sea of light, I felt at peace as though I could do anything, be anything no limitations. I felt my oneness with everything and everyone. Now that I am back in physical form, I feel less connected, less loving, and less loved at least less than I was loved while in spirit form.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I felt I was at my highest level of consciousness when I was with the large being in the sea of light.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Colors were more brilliant.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was strange. I do not remember being spoken to the way we speak to one another; it was more of a mind to mind speak.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I had soul recognition of all the souls I encountered.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The brightness was not just seen with my physical eyes I could feel it. The light penetrated my whole being.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I saw the radiant sea of light we call God and I swam in it as one with God.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt love, joy, contentment, peacefulness and calm. I felt sadness when I was told I had to go back. I felt excruciating pain when I was separated from the sea of light.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I realized then that we are on earth as a vacation from eternity and bliss.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was forced to come back. I now know why, but that's another story.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant Attended Catholic school in Holland went to Protestant services on Sundays. Moved to US in 1962 attended several churches, including Science of Mind now called creative living centers. My parents believed in the supernatural and I was born with a cord around my neck. From the time I could talk I spoke of seeing deceased relatives and sometimes predict future events.
I believed in heaven and hell, the devil and all that nonsense. I know now there is no hell, and God is not a super sized parent but unconditional love. I have seen God and it is a part of me I am not a separate entity. We are all connected and we are all part of that loving spirit we call God.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I do not believe I need to go to church and the bible is all about installing fear. Fear actually kills love.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Not important to me
What is your religion now? Other faiths- New age Currently I am a spiritual being with no religious leanings. I know that anything that is not from a place of Love is not of God. My God is loving compassionate and lives within me as spirit lives in everyone of us.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience At the time I believed in hell I believed that Jesus was the only son of God that I was more of a stepchild to God. Now I know that is not true I am a child of God in the true sense of the word
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe that religion tends to promote the, 'my God is bigger than your God' theory. There is only one God and we are it!
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I encountered what I believe to be an angelic being.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes I saw Jesus and people not so much in form but soul recognition of them
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Yes we are all connected and no one is more or less than anyone else. We choose how we live on this physical plane but the God Spark if you will lives in us is a part of us now and forever.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes There is a God and I am a part of it. It lives inside of me, God is not a passenger outside of me
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Just the knowingness of who I am. I have told this story to many people. I have written it out. Some people deem me as crazy and others don't believe me; they think I was hallucinating. Others love that I shared this. It gave them a sense of peace.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes When I was told to go back I fought it now at 60 I know why I had to come back.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes That our souls are eternal and we are here to experience life
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Being compassionate and living is more difficult in bodily form but if you can stay in that space wonderful things begin to happen
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Yes love is what we are and will be again.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I simply live my life the best I can moment to moment. I trust that all will be well. My belief in God is stronger than ever and I know I am a part of that wonderful being.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes Some went away some became stronger.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is difficult to express the intensity of what I felt. It is like trying to explain what an orgasm feels like to a person who has never had any type of sexual experience.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I recall what happened with clarity it was a moment in my life I will never forget like the birth of my son. I can see both events as though I am seeing like a rerun on TV
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have always had psychic abilities.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Some believed me others did not.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew it was real because I was speechless for a few days.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have no fears. I have a knowing of my divinity and I feel oneness with all things.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No I had a re-birthing session and it seems I newly died at birth.
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