Experience Description

It was Holy Thursday, 2006, at about 2:00 in the afternoon. I was at the MD Anderson Cancer Center, second floor Patient Area with my wife at my side. I was covered with four preheated blankets, because I had no blood to keep warm, and still freezing. All of my cells and organs were screaming for blood, but the cancer had destroyed my bone marrow, so I couldn't give it. I wasn't on any medications, except for some pain meds for humanitarian reasons, as they knew that I was in great pain and that I only had hours left. I had been diagnosed on 3/22/2002 with advanced Mylogenous Leukemia and given 3-6 months to live, so I'd had four years of very painful bone-marrow cancer before my death. I fought! I couldn't understand why I was dying as I had been ‘told’ to come to Taos ten years earlier. I wanted to do something special for others. It was my life's Journey to come here to Taos: To do ‘God's Will’ in my life.

As I was lying there, too weak to be in a wheelchair, the bed started to rock back and forth like a porch swing. I told my wife, who was next to me at the time. Then I opened my eyes and everything alive was on fire with color. All the plants, of which there were many, we're so beautiful. The pain and discomfort had ceased and I was in perfect peace. Then I started to rise, above my body and my wife, flowing upwards. No tunnel, just rising very high. I looked back and I could see my body and my wife far below. However, I was in no fear of falling, just peace, being lifted very gently higher and higher. (Please note: Out of Body experiences and death are two different things. I had had many Out of Body experiences and death was much different, much more freeing: ecstatic!)

Then I seemed to jump, in some way, above all Creation in the Presence of God. The Light was so bright and infusing I thought that it was power. Then I realized that it was Love. There was no judgment of any kind, only unbelievable Love. I looked at my body for imperfections, but I was perfect. I had 360° vision and could see forever: All of Creation, All of the Universes, all of Life. Then I realized that all Creation is full of life and that Love is behind it all. I never wanted to leave there, ever.

My wife and I had an agreement that we would ‘go’ together. I had been ill for years and she was always by my side. But I was leaving. I don't know how long I was there, because there is no time at that level. I wasn't spoken to but I had ‘knowing’. My wife had been reading, thinking I was asleep. Finally, she got up to get a bottle of water. As she passed by my body she tapped my knee and said, ‘Now don't you leave me!’ at that point it felt like I was hit by a large truck or train. An extremely loud crash happened.

I was back to my body but I wasn't entirely in it. I could still see all the beautiful lights and beams of color coming out of everything alive. The colors were not of this earth. I also was filled with unconditional Love. The Miracle wasn't that I came back, but that I had no viable body to return to. I had no blood. My body was dead. Later, as I was being wheeled out of the building to a waiting van, I saw two people pass in front of me. Neither looked at one another or acknowledged one another. It broke my heart! We are all connected Spiritual Beings. Love binds us all together. We are never alone. We should all love one another.

I went into some kind of a coma over that Easter weekend and started ‘coming to’ on Monday morning. My wife said I was lying in a normal position with covers on, but to me I seemed to be upside down at the bottom of the bed. Her face seemed right up against mine. She asked me, ‘Do you want to go on?’ I said, ‘No I want to stay and fight and go with the Light!’ She told me that she then looked up into the Heavens and said, ‘You can't have him!’ I could still see the lights around every living thing. I couldn't stand, or walk, or even crawl. My body was fully depleted, but I was there, evidently hovering around my body in Spirit form.

My oldest son, who is a Native American Healer, had driven all the way from Colorado to Houston to see me. He was shocked at how bad I looked. When he took my hand he was shocked at how much power I had. As he performed his healing ritual, I could see my cancer fighting him. There were these black things that looked a lot like Squids with single sharp black fangs on the end of each tentacle. He was pulling them out of my tissue. (Later on, he told me that they were this black greasy substance.) As he was working, I saw large beams of light coming out the top of his, and my wife's heads. They were, at least 6’ wide and went straight up into Eternity. At about 15 feet above my wife's head, hers exploded into a beautiful crown.

Behind them I saw my Higher Self standing behind the two of them with my son's higher-self standing in front of me. We were both dressed in monk-type robes, mine being darker than his. Then, as days went by, I started noticing a dark shadowy thing down a lone alley or tunnel. I didn't know what it was at first. Then, as it came closer, the more selfish I felt. It was my Ego! When it joined with me, all of the lights went out and I was fully human again. MD Anderson said that I am the only one in the world to have survived the terminal stage of the cancer.

Two months later I was allowed to fly home to Taos, but I had to have four transfusions of ‘Red Packs’ of concentrated blood cells before I was allowed to get on the plane. Doctors met me in Santa Fe and supplied me oxygen so I could breathe at the higher New Mexico elevations. From a previous terminal disease, I only have one partial lung with 40% breathing capacity. Yet, after I got home to Taos, I had 20 severe cases of Pneumonia, of which 12 were considered terminal. Yet I survived. I have also had many other cases of illness that should have taken me, but I seem to always survive, when others around me don't. (For example: Acute Pancreatitis, two Strokes, one causing 50% loss of vision, of which I recovered when the damage was considered permanent. I could go on and on.)

At one time, since the NDE, I was on 27 drugs per day. I am now only on sleeping type tablets to help me get some rest. I was on 200-300 mg doses of Morphine per day for over 8 years. I was told that I could never get off of it. Well I spent a year, 6 months of which was sheer terror to get off of it. It was horrible! Now, I live at home alone, on the end of an oxygen tube, with pain throughout my entire body all day and night. I rarely eat solid food, and never eat sugars, starches, processed foods, or dairy products. Yet I remain in pain all day, every day. It's up to God now, as my doctors are as stumped, as am I.

If death is coming again, I welcome it. It is the most beautiful event of our life! We go home. I am more psychic than ever now. I've healed others. I see Angels. I see people's futures and troubles. I have visits from my Alien friends, who are tall and humanoid shaped, although I've been with the ‘Greys.’ They ‘Stop by and see me!’ I hear great voices telling me things that I would rather not mention here. I have learned that some of the most beautiful and most spiritual acts are simple things: like opening a door for someone, smiling at those who need it, helping someone in need, sharing your Love: easy things that everybody can do.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 04/14/2006

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I was in the terminal spiral of advanced AML Leukemia. ‘A 60% Blast Crises.’ 15% is considered terminal.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I am now a physical being. During my NDE, I was Pure Spirit/Mind. In total Love.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was before the ‘Source.’

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had 360° vision. I could see forever.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had no hearing, yet I knew everything.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I was in the Presence of All.

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The Light was so powerful that it would have destroyed my physical body.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm An infinite place of unbelievable Love.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Total unbelievable Love and oneness with the Source.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I was above all Creation. I could feel that I was part of it all.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I was given a total knowledge that all of Creation is Perfect.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? No

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths Was living Spiritual, non religious, non dogma life.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic Was always devoted to doing God's Will.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I expected to go through a tunnel and see relatives. But I went straight up before the "Godhead."

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I heard nothing, but I knew everything!

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I was in the Presence of All.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I've also had past life experiences over my past 67 years.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Yes, we are all of the One!

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes All is One. Our illusion is that we are separate.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes We are all part of the Divine. There is no death! We are all part of the Divine. There is no death! All is One. Our illusion is that we are separate. I've also had past life experiences over my past 67 years. We are all of the One! Life is purposeful. The Universe is perfect.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes To Love others. To Love all Creation. To always Love.

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes We are all part of the Divine. There is no death!

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Yes, Life is and always has been Forever. We merely experience various aspects of Creation.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Yes, life is purposeful. The Universe is perfect.

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes As I have previously stated... All runs on Love!

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life Moderate changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I Love more openly with strangers. One does not see God and not be a Lover!

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes One can never express in our limited 3-dimensional world the power of Pure Love.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I know that things were given to me that I have yet to use. They keep showing up, little by little.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Yes and no. I've always had altered experiences from time to time. However, I think the time has come for me to express more of them.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I love seeing Angels. I also love giving certain people ‘higher’ information about the things with which they are having trouble understanding. Life is and always has been Forever. We merely experience various aspects of Creation.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Most people don't understand. They’re stuck in a three-dimensional box.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Some stories I'd watched, but mostly having Out of Body experiences.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I expected to go through a tunnel and see relatives. But I went straight up before the ‘Godhead.’ I know that things were given to me that I have yet to use. They keep showing up, little by little.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I could go on and on about other ‘gifts’ but this was enough for now.