Jan M Probable NDE

Experience Description

I remember bits and pieces of the 10 days when I was in intensive care. My oxygen levels were in the 60% range and my kidneys were failing. My blood pressure was critical. I remember thinking that I did not want to die. I wanted to live for my family. There was a glowing figure on the side of my bed the entire time. I was tired of the fight and begged to die. I thought I was sitting up and rising off the bed. I could see a very distant light at the end of a very dark and long tunnel. I kept trying to focus on the light and felt distressed because I could not get closer to see what was there. I then remember being forcefully shoved backwards to the bed and the glowing man said, 'Not now. You are like Lazarus.' (Lazarus is the biblical character that was brought back from the dead by Jesus.) I was told, days later, that I had never sat up in bed. I was not expected to live and had the lungs of someone who would only be seen in autopsy. I felt tingly for days after, like my cells were energized.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: September 2014

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Life threatening event, but not clinical death. I was in intensive care with bacterial pneumonia, intubated, unconscious, and restrained. My organs were shutting down.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I can't explain. It felt more real than reality ever has.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was being shoved back into my body.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It seemed to be happening quickly.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was in black and white during the experience. When I finally came-to colors seemed brighter.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It seemed the same.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

The experience included: Tunnel

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I tried to complete my way through the tunnel to the light but was held back with an incredible force.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I was in the distance at the end of a very dark tunnel.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear, anger, and love.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others After I woke up, I seemed to have a connection to God and answers to questions I had about God, purpose to life and why this had happened to me.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am reading the Bible and enjoying it. I think about God almost all the time.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience By being told that I was like Lazarus, I knew I had been saved from being dead.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I seem to be far less judgmental and not worried anymore about things. I don't just believe in God, I have met him.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin It was a translucent figure at the end of the bed.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I think it was a heavenly figure.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes The light at the end of the tunnel was the entrance to heaven

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes The being on the bed was heavenly and there to perform a miracle.

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes The light was the entrance to heaven

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I slightly fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I am uncomfortable with being a miracle. The nurses and doctors were all talking about what happened and they were amazed. I want to know why I was saved, but the answer has not fully come to me. What I do know is I am supposed to do God's work and will not be ready until I have taken my ego out of it. My creative abilities have increased significantly and sometimes I feel flooded with emotion and ideas. I am uncomfortable with being a miracle. The nurses and doctors were all talking about what happened and they were amazed. I want to know why I was saved, but the answer has not fully come to me. What I do know is I am supposed to do God's work and will not be ready until I have taken my ego out of it. My creative abilities have increased significantly and sometimes I feel flooded with emotion and ideas.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I just love people. My husband and I are on the verge of divorce. He doesn't believe me and thinks I was mental.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I had an experience I had never had before and could not explain the feeling I had in my body.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I felt the prayers that were sent up on my behalf. I felt an abundance of love I had never felt before after I came out of the coma. I had conversations in my head with God. I wanted to know 'why me' there were so many others who were much more deserving of a miracle and the answer in my head was, 'It is a gift not a reward.'

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I was in a Catholic hospital and the nurses and doctors knew that a power beyond their abilities affected the change in my status. Everyone expected me to die. The doctor, who had been on shift, when I had stopped breathing and was intubated, had come back on duty a few days afterwards and I had been moved from intensive care to a regular room. When she came in to see me on her rounds, she turned very white and just stared at me for a moment. She then apologized and explained that she was shocked that it was I. She said that she had gone to intensive care first and my name was no longer on her list of patients to see. She and her residents wondered which day I had died. They then came to the medical floor and had a patient to see with my name and thought it was an unusual coincidence that she would have two patients in the same week with the same name. She showed me the CAT scan of my lungs and they were completely white. She said that 'no one is supposed to live with lungs like that'.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Well, it helped that the medical staff supported the belief that my experience was real and I lived only by a miracle. It is hard to explain, I just know.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I know there is a God, I have met with him, I was touched by him. I miss the feeling I had when I was there in the room afterwards.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? No one seems to understand. I think it scares people sometimes. I can't understand why I feel so much grief.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Sometimes you ask for an explanation of what can't be explained.