I suddenly became aware that I was outside of my body and looking down at it from the ceiling. I felt panic and tried to return to my body, but to no avail. I then noticed a blackness surrounding me with a light in the distance. As the light got closer the panic was replaced by love times-a-thousand. I communicated with whatever it was through thought. No words were spoken but I understood perfectly. I was informed that it wasn't my time. I felt like I was caught trying to cut class. It was like I was trying to get away with something, yet the Being had so much love and understanding like a parent has for a child. I pleaded not to return but the presence in the light reached out and guided me back into my body. As soon as I was back in my body, I cried and was angry that I couldn't stay. Before this occurrence, I was experiencing kidney failure and had accepted death. After the experience, I showed no signs of ever having any kidney problems and my doctor had no explanation for my recovery. I am rather reluctant to be here on earth, but it wasn't my time apparently. The experience has left me with a heightened awareness I did not have prior.
Date NDE Occurred: 1987
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was aware of everything
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When near the light
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
No concept of time passing
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Unrestricted
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear but it was more like a thought in my head
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It was darkness and then light
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A light that contained something
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Nothingness then light
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Panic, love
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others Makes me realize we are all connected and we are all cared for and loved
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No Felt shame
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future Nothing I can remember but it was part of the reason I had to come back.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic Not practicing
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I make sure I treat everyone, as I would want to be treated.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated Spiritual
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Darkness and alone then in the light of love was what I experienced. At that time in my life I would have expected to see deceased relatives and had a life review.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Told me it wasn't my time
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain Not sure what I was talking to
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I can still feel it to this day. As if I'm having two conversations with people. One is a non verbal communication and sometimes has nothing to do with the verbal communication.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes It is more of a flowing energy that goes through us all
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain I think we are here for the experience
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes When I was in the light I understood everything.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Everyone plays a role and we are all equally loved
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes They will keep presenting themselves till we get it right
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Not compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes It's appearantly everything
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I now value everyone, even the people who do harm. Everyone has a part to play. I now value everyone, even the people who do harm. Everyone has a part to play.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes More understanding and tolerance
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Not sure of the emotion I felt in the light except it is still is fresh after 20 years and everything has paled in comparison
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I'm more spiritual and understanding. I use to feel loneliness but that's gone now.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? We're here until we do what were supposed to do.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Years after. I hear others talking now about how life ends at death but don't feel compelled to speak up, I figure that they will find out, eventually. I also don't want to change the path on which they are. The ones I have told I can't explain why I did but it did seem to fill a need within them.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Real, but didn't know what to make of it.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was more real than anything I had experienced before and since then. It was truth.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I did find myself outside of my body again a few weeks after the experience but no light and as soon as I became aware, I was right back in my body.
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