Jacob D NDE

Experience Description

When I was 15-years-old, I began suffering from a strange psychological illness that confounded doctors. I was obsessed with my complexion. Today it is called dermatillomania. It was horrible and led to two suicide attempts by the time I had reached the age of 18.

On October 31, 1988, I decided I had had enough. I walked out to my car and pulled it into the garage. I closed the door behind me and lay down in the backseat to die. I found myself floating above the car looking at my lifeless body in the car below.

When my mom came in, she tried to get me out of the car, but I was too heavy. So she raced back into the house to call 911.

I should mention that I had a form but it wasn't my body which was probably in an ambulance by now. My soul began a rapid descent through my body lying in the car and into a dark void. It felt like it took about ten minutes. I came to a sudden stop, immobilized in a quagmire that prevented me from moving. I tried to run, but my legs would not move. Then I attempted to scream, but no sound came from my mouth. Then, I saw a light began approaching me from the right side of my peripheral vision. It got brighter and brighter until it was about five or six feet from me. The light spoke to me. There was nothing spoken audibly, but I heard a voice in my soul's ears. It went over my whole 18 years in about ten seconds. I was not a good person and was not attending any church. Yet, I had enough knowledge to know who was talking to me.

He then moved a bit to his left and a chasm opened up between Him and me. I heard a million voices crying out in agony, along with hideous laughter. Then a smell came from the chasm. It was like that of rotting flesh. He then gave me the choice of either staying there at the gates of hell until judgment day or returning to this life in a painful and disfigured form. I then felt a sick feeling that was both, painful and embarrassing. I immediately knew that this was the sensation that I was going to feel if I had chosen to return. I guess I must have made my choice, because my soul began a quick ascent back to my body lying in a hospital bed. The entry felt like diving into a pool of warm water.

After many scans and tests, it was determined that I had damaged a part of my brain that is responsible for the reception of dopamine. "Ah, so you had Parkinson's disease," you might say. Well kind of, but not exactly. What I had was a Parkinson's-like syndrome that resembles end stage Parkinson's disease. So I have been trapped in a state of de facto end stage Parkinson's disease for the last 35 years. This has replaced my complexion as my primary concern.

Upon reflection, He saved me in the only way He could have. He had to give me something that would make me fight instead of hide; something that would make me struggle without becoming depressed. When I was 15-years-old, I began suffering from a strange psychological illness that confounded doctors. I was obsessed with my complexion. Today it is called dermatillomania. It was horrible and led to two suicide attempts by the time I had reached the age of 18.

In my old age, I have become weaker and weaker and the Parkinson's-like syndrom just keeps getting worse. My body is now riddled with arthritis. I am ashamed to say that three more suicide attempts have followed my wedding which took place in 1999. I believe that they were desperate attempts to get back to His presence. His presence must be something very special to get me to try to kill myself three more times and risk ending up where I was 35 years ago. I have struggled with the spirit of suicide most days since then, but I guess I'm immortal or something, so I will have to wait until he calls me back home.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 10/31/1988

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Suicide attempt Other Brain death

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw my mom come in the garage. She was crying hysterically and tried to pull my body out of the car below me. Then my soul disappeared into the abyss. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness. It was the same as what I feel now.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? At the time I had the sensation of what it would be like to return to life.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual. I guess it sped up because what I experienced took about ten to fifteen minutes. I was in a coma for four days on Earth.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't really have an answer to this question except that it wasn't my eyes that I was seeing through.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Much more intense during the time I heard the voices.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I fell through a dark abyss, but there were no borders on the void. I couldn't see any walls.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The brightest light, that was so bright that I couldn't look directly at it, but it was warm and comforting.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I was at the gates of hell.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt fear for the first part of the experience. Once I saw the light, I felt a great deal of shame and the last part was a feeling of overwhelming love and peace.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others. I understood everything about myself for a brief period.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. Like I said, I was given the choice of either staying there at the gates of hell until judgment day or returning to this life in a painful and disfigured form.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I wasn't religious, but I knew who the savior was.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I became a born again Christian as a result of this experience.

What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant I am what you would call a born again believer in Christ.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My obsession with my complexion disappeared and I became completely focused on getting back to life as normal as it had been.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin It was Jesus. There was no doubt about it.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus was the light that I saw.

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I was in the presence of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. I don't mean to be that blunt, but that was who it was.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes I was keenly aware that this was an experience that I had created by my suicide attempt and that I had died, clinically.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I would experience hardships like no other as a result of my actions, but that these challenges would save me from myself.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes No words can really express how it feels to die and meet the savior of the world. That's why I didn't really attempt to describe this feeling.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience less accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. The conversation I had with the light of the world is a little bit blurry still and bits are being added and even subtracted almost every day.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of it.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it at church, so it was warmly accepted.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I think I had heard about it happening to people but I didn't give it much thought.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably not real. I didn't know how to answer that question because the vision, or the revelation didn't come to me until I was in my twenties.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. It is just too real to ignore and deny. The fact that I get little tidbits about the experience all the time is proof that it was real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

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