I looked down at my body. I felt no weight as I floated above myself. A black circle appeared; at first, it was small and then it grew larger. I could pass beside it, around it, and behind it, yet it looked the same. Then I entered the black circle that turned into a tunnel with a light at the end. There was no pain. The light was comforting, entirely comforting and welcoming. I went toward it. Around me were darkness and a void. It was kind of like a tunnel. I was heading for the light when I heard my sister call my name. Her voice in that tunnel was more than a voice. Her voice was like lightening in a night sky as it passed through the tunnel and then past by me as it went on to the light. Then I heard another voice say, 'Go back. It's not time.' I screamed, 'No!' I didn't want to go back. Then I felt something or someone grab my legs and drag me backward away from the light. On being dragged backward, I became aware of other beings in the dark around me. They were grabbing at me but did not grasp me. I was dragged backward, out of the same black circle that I had entered. I turned and saw my body. Both, my sister and significant other were doing CPR on me. My sister was crying, pleading for me to come back. I looked for the entranceway back to the light. The black circle closed and prevented me from reentering the tunnel with the light. I had nowhere to go but back into my body. I sat on my body, laid down into it and awoke in terrible pain and gasping.
Date NDE Occurred: 1985
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt. CPR given. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)
My sister and significant other found me unresponsive, without vitals.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness Perhaps more aware, as I was noticing new surroundings
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was constant, throughout the whole experience.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
No sense of time once I left my body.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Same as always but I wasn't wearing glasses in my spirit form. I didn't need glasses or think about their absence.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Same as always
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes When I was dragged back to this world, I saw dark, genderless spirits who started to grab at me. They were somewhat human-shaped.
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light at the end of the tunnel was indescribable. It was warm but not like the sun; comforting and it was drawing me to it.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was briefly aware of the void where the other dark spirits were, but felt safe from it.
The experience included: Hellish imagery
What emotions did you feel during the experience? There was a lack of emotional or physical pain while I was in the light. I felt distraught and upset when dragged back, and severe emotional and physical pain on returning to the body and full consciousness.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe The world opened up and there's more than we see or perceive.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes After being dragged back, the doorway closed. I couldn't go back into the tunnel to the light and had to go back in my body or forever float outside it.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I've researched every religion I could find and then researched deeper. I created my own practices that meet my needs. For me, it's all quite private and personal.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Native American religion Cherokee
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I wasn't brought up in any faith... so I didn't know anything about any religion..
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Spirituality became important. How I treat others, became important. I care about my spirit's health more than my physical body
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify My sister's voice became physical, like power or lightning. Her voice went to the light. Then another powerful, warm, firm but not aggressive male or asexual voice said, 'Go back. It isn't time yet.'
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain I don't know whose voice came from the light but it wasn't anyone I'd ever known.. and it may have been god or an angel
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I was spirit before I was flesh and for some reason I chose to live in this world temporarily but I don't belong here not really
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes everything is energy... life is all one but takes on many forms but it is one it was apparent then but it doesn't make sense to a human brain
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes it had a voice, power to allow me to come or to make me go back and the spirit/thing/person that dragged me back did so when that god spoke and they were definitely two separate entities
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew I would come back to the light and that when I do, all the time spent here on earth would seem like a blink.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes learning patience and love and things of that type testing love proving love
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes life on earth is temporary and has a purpose that is intended for the spirit being that is the real us
Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes difficulty in this world is to remove impurities in the spirit so it can shine pure like that light in the tunnel..
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I don't have words to explain it... love is the ONLY law of the spirit domain..
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I have been too forgiving, too patient and too giving. It has cost me much pain in this world.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. It was more real than my day to day life was and the memory remains fresh and doesn't change
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I try to avoid it but I see spirits and can hear them sometimes. The people who have passed away visit and encourage me at times. I sometimes know dangers, like a deer in the road, are there before I or anyone else in the vehicle can see it.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Lack of pain while in the light. I am in pain every moment of living.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I immediately shared with the two who brought me back, but was met with disdain. I shut up, about my experience, for many years. In my 30's and 40's, I've shared it more, and even more so since, I became a nurse. I am jealous every time a patient dies because I want to go with them. I never help or cause a death though, not even if I'm begged to do so. That has happened many times.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was more real than anything else was ever; and it doesn't fade as other memories do.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It's been a long time since that day and I remember every part of it even the sensory parts as if it was yesterday.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I want to go home, back to the realm of spirit. I wonder how many people have that same emotional drive and or suffer depression because they came back?
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Are others depressed after returning against their will? Do they feel trapped in the body as I do?
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