I was home alone. There was a loud bang, lightning and blackness, and then a big terrifying SILENCE. I was no longer home; I was safe, free in light traveling somewhere unknown. It was bright and warm. I felt loved ones were present. I admit, at the time, it felt like I was moving in joy and peace, both emotional and physical. I was escorted and cradled by loved ones who had passed me and were whispering. A stronger sound came from the rest. It was either a VERY close family member or a loving influence giving me a path option. I could choose the light or return to my body. I awoke to darkness a LOUD ringing then SEARING PAIN. I placed my hands on my battered head and waited. I later was able to call my mother and get help
Date NDE Occurred: September 2008
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Suicide attempt. Other: GSW to head/ brain
Gunshot wound to my head. Bullet and shrapnel still lodged in face and brain.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes The people/ spirit who were present. I saw a light and darkness that was unearthly: Beyond my mind's creation.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The first silence then the light. HIGH Awareness. Then the Painful ringing. High awareness of my choices.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
For most of it there was no sense of time.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was depressed. I have a life-threatening illness with moments of remission. I was not in remission at the time.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was clearer.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain There was an important destination. Another doorway I think.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The beings were on a spiritual level. Something I believe humans can not possess alive.
The experience included: Boundary
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I was not at home where I began.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt joy, sorrow, love, freedom, responsibility, painlessness. It was indescribable
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
The experience included: Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I came to a conscience-free decision given by someone beyond my plane of existence. It was a choice to live my life all the pain, love, grief happiness knowing I would live in a sort of mental peace. To will endure: or follow on, pass on and be free of pain, and sadness.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic Very progressive Catholic. Studied many religious faiths as an optional field of study in college.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am more open.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience The consistency relied in the higher being.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I heard voices of familiarity.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain I felt that there was an attachment of others to. You interpret as you wish.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain It does exist. Weather tis God Buddha Allah a friend I believe what one person thinks is god may be another's interpreted as Dad.
THERE IS SOMETHING GUIDING US.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? Unknown
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I don't remember.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? Unknown Yes Without a doubt.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Uncertain Perhaps. I feel as if I was aware of something else but I could not say anymore.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes If I choose to live I have to know I will experience all life's ups and downs, but I was placed here for a purpose. I will bring joy and meaning somehow.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life. This has altered my view on life. I am no longer suicidal. I believe my life is stronger. I have become more sensitive to people and places.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I feel a bit mystified: My empathy for others as well as strong feelings in some places.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard of it. I was a skeptic.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real My experience was real. I don't need the support of anyone else to know it changed me.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
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