Edita M NDE

Experience Description

Here I am with my free will in free fall. Where should I start with this story, I ask?

I drowned at age 12 and had a near death experience. I felt myself to already be a bit of an odd bird before this incident though I did my best to hide this from others and often from myself as well.

I knew I was never quite at home here but merely passing through, felt my parents were not my Source and that I was here for a reason. I knew that I was protected and guided. I also knew deep inside of things I should not have known given my age and the circumstances I grew up in. My premonitions were always vindicated. I knew that I felt weary with a sort of weariness not produced here on Earth. I knew of my many previous lives that I've gone through, some I preferred not to recognize because I am so changed now. But each of those lives I have now accepted, embraced and learned from. And I felt that I will always want to go back to the Home where I belong. I have a loneliness that never leaves me but which I have now learned to live with. I drowned because I had just moved to the Netherlands and had not yet learned to speak or read Dutch. On a sign near the pond was written in Dutch, "No Swimming." This was because of the dangerous whirlpools. Because I had grown up near the sea and also lived many years near a river I was never afraid of water and considered myself a good swimmer.

It was a warm day and I went walking with my friend Elke along the dyke near Ryswijk. Once we were near the water Elke began walking along one side. I sat down for a moment before diving in to cool off. I was hardly in the water and thought how cold and brown the Netherlands water is compared to ours. Suddenly it seemed like someone had grabbed me by both legs and was pulling me to the bottom. I thought, there are monsters in this water! I was being pulled down and saw only how the light was gradually disappearing. I tried to swim to the surface like I had done countless times in the sea when you dive and want to come back up but I kept going deeper it seemed. I realized if I exhaled that that would be my last breath. A voice said, "Let go." So I let go and the panic I had felt disappeared and a peace came over me.

Next what I saw was a body drifting submerged in the water. It was all very pleasant and peaceful I thought until I realized that that was me. But how can this be? I'm here, who is that then? I felt actually nothing toward my body except to say that that is my packaging. Here, this is really me!

I seemed to be drifting further away from my body and I know when I looked down to see where my legs and body should have been there was nothing, yet I felt more complete than ever. I tried to sense whether I felt more a woman than a man and it looked like I had more feminine energy but I felt clearly that I could have been either.

I was being drawn upward while at the same time hearing a strong peeping sound. I looked around and could hear that it was coming from me. At the same time I saw more of the details around me. I felt to the right of me a clear Presence, my Angel/protector. while I became conscious of him there were two shadow like beings coming from his left to take me with them. I heard my Angel say, "Leave her alone, she is one of ours!" As he said that the Shadows disappeared looking angry. I was guided further upward and saw an explosion of colors, my peeping sound continued and while I was watching the explosion of colors slow music came from all directions. I could also see and feel everything around me at once.

The music became steadily clearer and I thought, what sort of music is this, it was namely, classical music. As a child I never listened to it. I got to hear that my tone frequency is part of the rest and that we together produce different music in the Universe each time. My Protector was still present and assured me that my next trip would contain a bit less light but would be safe. And that's what happened. There was a sort of dark tunnel that changed in my life film. It was more like the pond in which I drowned. I saw, heard and felt and experienced everything at once. I knew I was very angry and sad when I saw how heart broken my parents would be if I didn't return home. We came through the war together and now they will lose me in this manner. My mother would be very heart broken. I saw this in detail and it gave me such pain. My father would be in a quite similar state. My little brother would miss me later in life.

I saw many different images of my life which actually showed me my future. People I would meet, situations I would find myself in and things that I apparently needed to go through.

I got to hear that I was an important part of my family and must help them through their souls journey.

This life overview was at once over and I went further into the tunnel but the tunnel became transparent, I could see the Universe through it. I came to a sort of round cloud entrance and it was very bright. I hovered there and was told that I may have a short look, I saw countless light beings standing in a sort of row and they were having what looked like an impatient and rather serious discussion. Strangely while I was asking myself what this was the answer came out of myself also, as if I already knew and merely had to remember. These beings are waiting to come to Earth to help. The Earth is in need of help. As a child I had a memory of floating above the Earth and hearing, Help Help! I remembered then that this is what that was.I floated for a time above these light beings but I was allowed no further. Then I heard, "We're going."

At once I was back in a sort of tunnel moving toward a place that made me feel happier the closer I got to it. Suddenly I realized if I go there I won't be able to come back. A voice that seemed to come from all directions said, "You're going back." I was so disappointed. I felt the love, peace and homecoming feeling and now I must go back. I kept saying no but was pulled back. The following moment I was opening my eyes underwater and heard, "Swim to the surface." I did that and was at the surface after what seemed like only a couple of strokes.

I leapt in a deafening motion out of the water and thought, what in God's name was that? Elke was standing on the bank and looked at me in a surprised and scared way. She gave me a hand signal that she had been looking for me. I was shivering and sat down. She put a sweater over me.

I don't know how we made it to our pensions. Walking, I know that but it seemed like we had still not landed. I was someone else it seemed. That feeling would remain with me for years.Because my mother was a strict mama I didn't dare tell her what had happened. I came home and she saw that my hair was wet so she came down on my head a bit over having gone swimming. I didn't dare go to sleep that night. I wanted to understand what had happened to me but I was afraid I might die again and my parents would still lose me. I could feel their remorse yet from what I had seen earlier. The following day I awakened, I know that and I saw this world, but through it I also saw what I had seen in the water. I couldn't concentrate and was a bit mixed up. I asked God why He was doing this to me? I heard in reply that we will be taking away a lot of those memories because it is a bit too much for you at once but over the course of your life you will regain all of them.

And that's what happened. I no longer saw dubbled images but normal daily life. I was already a closed book but after this even more so. I knew my bond since childhood with God was strong and we had conversations but this beat all that. We had fled the war, I didn't have such a happy youth, was highly sensitive, and from birth had memories and experiences I should not have had. I felt that I had been different for long enough. I wanted so much to just be normal but this experience made that even more difficult.

Meanwhile I have turned forty years old. I have had so many magic moments in my life I could write a book. Strange it is that I've already been given a title for the book I am to write. I have hesitated for 28 years because it would be personal and I might become vulnerable but I know I must deal with it. Should it not become a book I hope sincerely that those who read this might find something for themselves in it, maybe rediscovers or strengthens his or her own connection with our Source.

I know I should write this book if only for myself. From the moment you come to the moment you leave you are always learning and I have a lot of lessons to go.

Even at this moment as I'm writing this I'm learning another important lesson. From the time I first chose eternity and that I should joyfully remain here I again received the lesson announced in my near death experience. My heart is working at only 25% capacity. But I know that everything is going according to plan.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1993

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. Drowning Other drowning

How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Earth is clearly in some sort of emergency condition; help is needed to ramp up the frequency. People are distraught and seek God but do not know where to look. It is within you but sometimes you need some outside help to see this. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal You are complete, you see everything, feel everything and hear everything at the same time. You speak telepathically and you feel that is your true being.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I think mainly two moments when I heard my tone and realized I was consciousness both feminine and masculine and at the threshold was also such a clear sense of knowing everything and coming home.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. This was especially when looking at my life, everything happened at once. Sometimes I seemed to be zooming in on something and it seemed as if it slowed down the image for a while.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. You see 360 degrees and yet it does not make you dizzy. You can also zoom in. The colors are so bright.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. You hear internally it is not 1 direction but from all directions.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes there was kind of dark tunnel that turned into my life movie, it was more like a vortex drowned in. I saw, heard, felt and experienced everything at once. I know I was mostly angry and sad when I saw how broken my parents and my little brother would be that I wouldn't come home anymore, I thought but we came out of the war together and now they have to lose me this way. My mother would have been really broken I saw the details it hurt me so much, my father would be almost as bad. My brother wouldn't feel my loss until later in life.

I saw all kinds of different images of my life that actually showed my future. People I would meet, situations I would end up in and things I apparently had to endure.

I was told that I was an important part of my family and that I should help them on their soul journey.

This life overview was over at once and I continued into the tunnel but the tunnel was transparent I saw the universe through it. At once I came to a kind of round cloud entrance and it was very light I was floating and I heard you may have a look, I saw all light beings countless in a kind of row and they were all talking to each other and it seemed serious and kind of impatience. Strange thing is while I ask myself about what this is I also get an answer from myself as if I knew and only had to remember. These beings are waiting to come to Earth to come and help, the Earth needs help.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes At the end of the tunnel the light is very bright and yet you can see into it. This was also with the light beings it was very light and clear and yet I could see and distinguish between the beings.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The place where the light beings were felt like a waiting room but then completely shrouded in light and clouds/mist. Some were talking to each other and some were standing I also heard their thoughts. I heard everyone's thoughts at once.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Calm, Complete, Knowledgeable, Confused, Sad and Angry Short, Curious, Coming Home.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I understood both myself and the universe I was complete.

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I realized that I also heard the cry for help from the planet and that I came here to help.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I saw people, situations and things that I had to undergo. Also that the world could go either way, the moment I drowned the world was not going well.

Did you come to a border or point of No return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths I came from a muslim family but soon felt bonded to a Source that had No religion such as here on Earth. It was everything in one.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Like as with my near death experience I feel there is only one Universal Source. After the experience this only grew stronger.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I had believed in God as a child, I always felt a presence with me. I spoke to this presence. I also had prophetic dreams. Memories of living for my life. It also seemed to be memories of life here on earth.

Maar tot deze gebeurtenis had ik geen beeld van dood.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I knew what I saw was more real than anything here. My conviction came later that I was not crazy, but that I was actually receiving confirmation that I denied in myself for a long time.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin i felt a clear presence to my right kind of my angel/protector as i became aware of him from the left came kind of two shadows who wanted to take me, i heard my angel say keep off she's ours. My protector was silent but present, reassuring me that my next journey would contain a little less light but was safe. It felt like a very big and strong being, I felt protected.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I knew that I had always existed and that I will always exist.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes Everything is connected, especially beautiful when I heard the frequency that created music. That's why sometimes it resonates with someone and sometimes it doesn't. Mismatch in frequency.

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes it is a Source that encompasses the entire universe and is connected to everything everywhere. Knowing everything full of pure love and understanding.

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes When I asked a question, I answered it myself.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Personally I came to help, but also to learn. This world is a big school of strong duality from which you can draw many lessons. Transforming so that you can properly integrate the lesson into your consciousness so that you will vibrate a higher frequency again.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes We cannot not exist, we are eternal consciousness growing, in some cases staying the same for a while and in some cases falling back a bit. But always part of the Source from which we come. We are nothing and yet everything. We are on a journey of discovery that has No end and we will always long to know ourselves because we know that we are infinitely interesting.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes We are knowledgeable, powerful, strong, loving and creative beings. There are countless planets and lives in the Universe. Earth is placed on a dark patch of Universe as a very heavy school. The battle between darkness and light is real but nothing to be afraid of. It is part of the soul growth curriculum, as long as the balance between those two forces is good, there is nothing to worry about. Unfortunately, the balance on this planet has been disrupted and has been for some time. That is why there are beings who come to raise the frequency so that the balance is restored.

Only Source knows what is really going to happen to this planet, for everything is happening according to plan.

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I was shown that I would have a lot of physical pain and a lot of heartache, I also saw that this was all part of my curriculum.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Love is everything just like the Source it is the most important thing there is.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life My psychic talents have become even stronger, my contact with Source even stronger, I get lessons from my light family about everything, I get pieces back as announced every time I'm ready. I am calmer and more confident about my being. I get help in all kinds of ways and support on my soul path. Images of the world and the state it is in. Despite all the seriousness I also laugh a lot with my light family because we come to go and we only take our experiences with us.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I'm more ready to waste my energy where the frequency doesn't resonate.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes How do you explain what is not visible? Especially love is beyond description. Later I found metaphors to describe it more clearly.

Because I was so young I first needed a very long time to explain it to myself or to accept it. I understood a lot but it was so much. There is much more than this brief description, especially the memories that I still get every day. Some say it is useful to know what to expect, sometimes Yes, but not always and especially not when things are intense. Yet I am receiving lessons from my family of light and I know that we are here for lessons in all kinds of areas that our souls need.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience Next day I was awake I know and I saw this world but through it I also saw what I had seen in the water I couldn't concentrate and was a bit confused. i asked god why are you doing this to me i heard we are going to take away a lot of memories cause it's a bit too much at once but in the course of your life you get everything back. That's how it happened. I No longer saw double images, but just live immediately. I was already a closed book but after this even more. I knew my bond with god was strong from childhood and I had conversations but this knocked me out. We had just fled the war, I did not have a very happy childhood, I was highly sensitive and from birth I had memories and knowledge that I should not have. I felt I had been different long enough that I wanted to be normal so badly and this experience made me even more different.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes As a child I could already see/feel things from others. Now years later I found out that they are akashik records that I can reach, only after the event it happens even stronger and faster. I can also hear in someone's voice what they are not saying. I hear what this one actually means.

I was highly sensitive to the experience but now years later it has only become stronger.

I have prophetic dreams sometimes. I know why I meet someone and recognize them because I have seen them in water. They also showed me how to change the outcome of what I saw in water, but not everything because some things are fixed. Sometimes I can also make contact with the deceased but I have always avoided that, lately I sometimes make contact with someone who apparently wants to pass on something to the one where I am. I do that very briefly because it often takes a lot of energy.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole experience felt like a punishment when I was twelve. I couldn't understand why God had to let a child who had just fled the war go through this. Years later, this experience is a present for me that I keep unwrapping and am surprised every time by the content. The assignment to write a book about this with the title is also a special feeling, I have No idea how or what but I know that God has a reason for that.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Only 15 years later with my ex-husband and a little later my mother. They were silent and said why I didn't talk about it earlier. I could only tell small parts of it in the beginning I had kept it to myself for so long.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew it was real I was having a hard time understanding it. I wanted an answer to everything and I didn't get one right away. At one point I was done with it because I got diabetes when I was 13 and I thought what a god let this happen to a child. I got into a fight with god, so to speak and tried to put the experience away. which didn't work out so well for me. I got very strong visions and flashbacks regularly.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real No doubt about it I feel it in my being it has become a part of me.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes So often especially in recent years that I regularly ask God for a break. Especially the week that I had to go to the cardiologist in Umc and I saw the corridor, that took my breath away. I knew I had to be there and I saw it. I also knew then what to expect and that it was not easy.

During that period I also got a flashback about a lesson in love that also came in well.

As for my diagnosis about my heart that was also announced to me, yet every time I am amazed by the divine orchestra how everything fits together. I have so many re-experiences that I can truly call my life magical.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I sincerely hope that whoever reads this can find some of themselves in it, rediscover, rediscover or strengthen their own connection with the source. And see this life as a beautiful journey of discovery of your own being.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I have No comments. The questions are nice and clear.