I had a winter virus with projectile vomiting. Suddenly I could not breathe. I remember thinking 'Not here, not now.' Because both children were asleep in bed and my husband was working away. I did not want the children to find me. I tried to cough up and breathe but it was as if my throat was closed. I started thinking about going to my neighbor's home so the children would not find me first and maybe I could get help from them. I searched for the key in my bag to the back door, opened the back door, and went outside. But I must have passed out because I don't remember any more.When I became aware, I still could not breathe. But I felt as if there were layers of cotton bandaged around me which I fought hard to remove. It was like being in a stifling cocoon. When I came out of my body, I was on a bridge. In the distance and over the water was a really beautiful harbor and city infused with a golden light. The feeling of leaning on the side of the bridge looking at the play of light on the water was an indescribable joy. There were many people milling about the harbor; all who I felt I knew. There were two guides on the bridge with me, which I accepted as normal. My perspective was strange because I was up in the air, on the bridge, behind myself and looking at the details of the city and harbor all at the same time. The guides had two books with them for me to read. The first book was about my life. I could flick through the pages and look at different events and they helped me to judge if they were good or bad. Good decisions were celebrated by the people on the other side of the bridge. The pages were more like films and I could see how my decisions affected everyone around me. I was shocked to find out that a day I had worked really hard at the hospice and done my best to help everyone, yet this was celebrated the least by my guides. The day I helped a spider out of the door was celebrated because I had done it with a feeling of real empathy for the spider despite being afraid of spiders. There was no reward from people knowing what I had done. The message was do everything with love, which is much tougher than I thought.I became aware that the light around me was conscious and made of pure love. We all belong to this light and the light is inside us. The guides knew I was curious and let me read the second book. They told me that I would not remember it and if I tried to, I would possibly misinterpret it. But the book made perfect sense when I was there. The book appeared more like a sphere which represented the cosmos on many different layers and with the loving consciousness permeating endless dimensions and worlds. I remembered everything but have promised to forget for now.I became aware of my recently deceased mother-in-law coming through the crowd leading a small boy about four years old and with dark curly hair. I did not know him and wondered who he was. She said, 'Debbie what are you doing here! Go back now!' I was immediately back here on earth and trying to gasp for breath. My throat was very swollen and I could only take in small amounts of air. It was cold outside and I went straight back into the house to rest.The experience was profound and I am still processing it. I do not want to talk to anyone about something as silly as nearly choking to death on my own vomit, so when I have tried to describe the experience I say it was a dream and I have not talked to anybody about the two books I saw.
Date NDE Occurred: 2006
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Life threatening event, but not clinical death
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal More alert
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? On the bridge
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see things far away and in great detail. I could see from many different places at once.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't know
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Mother-in-law
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes A conscious light
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm A homecoming place
The experience included: Hellish imagery
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Love and belonging
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I have promised to forget so I can live here on earth.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events Life review
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I have promised to forget.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes At the end of the bridge
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Atheist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Atheist
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience The message for me and for all of us is to love to the best of your ability and to try to enjoy life's pleasures when they present themselves. Life is a gift and even if you have done terrible things you will be forgiven and have all eternity to develop.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have no desire to control others and wish to be of service to make the world a better place.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Conscious light
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes .
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably does not exist
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I find it difficult to put a name or a gender or even call God a being because he is so much greater than that.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? Unknown
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably does not exist
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I understand that we return to the living light, and that we are part of it. What it is like to actually cross that threshold I cannot say.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes We need to try to develop love, feel love, enjoy love and inform our actions with love, which is tremendously difficult in this body with its hormones and survival instincts and moral norms.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? I am not religious but try to follow what I have learned on the bridge. I am not religious but try to follow what I have learned on the bridge.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I try to be tolerant and understanding.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I find it extremely hard to write about and describe. There are far more details than I have written here, yet it probably took place in a few seconds.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Belonging to the light
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes From other's stories, but I had no tunnel or OBE, which they all had.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I'm only just talking about it now, years after. The love bit I have been saying since shortly afterwards in a modified form.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I can't fill in the form in detail, as it would take so long.
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