Davide R NDE

Experience Description

I have been suffering from depression for several years because a dear friend of mine had committed suicide in 2004. My family was very worried about me. My brother and sister-in-law decided to bring me on a vacation with them to Croatia. They thought it might help me to find new inspirations for enjoying my life.

That day in August was just like the others, but then something happened which I try to live again and remember every day. I felt tired and achy, so I decided to have a walk on the beach. When I got to the beach, the sky looked very strange. After a little while, I started to feel odd and my heart started to beat very fast. Suddenly, I experienced a very hard pain in my chest and in my arm. I was scared. All at once, I started to get up, but the pain got even worse. The was nobody around. I tried to call for help, but it was night time and the camping site where we stayed was a few kilometers away from there. I started to walk quickly to find someone could help me. I managed to walk through a lawn and then I climbed a low little wall. I felt faint and fell down.

I closed my eyes and said to myself, 'It’s my time, I’m dying.' I wasn’t scared anymore. I was tired of being always sad and for living. I let myself go. I felt the grass on the ground, then I couldn’t feel anything anymore. I just heard a voice in my head saying. 'You are dying, but don’t be scared.' I started to see a very beautiful white light and I was drawn to this light because that light emanated joy. Then I saw some flashes from my life. I clearly saw images of nice memories and also some bad memories. I wasn’t just seeing images or remembering memories, I was actually living the events as if those moments as were really happenign again. That voice explained to me me about the bad or negative moments and I understood. I remember I felt very relieved by that voice's words; the voice said, 'You’ve done this. But I understand you, so don’t feel guilty.' It was that very light I saw earlier who talked with me. I didn’t see any passed away relative or gone friends. I knew that very light talked to me. Then I experienced infinite well-being. I experienced love as I have never experienced before. I remember I didn’t care about my body at all. I didn’t want to have it any longer. I was very happy to be there, even though I couldn’t understand where I was.

I started to see a very beautiful lawn with amazing colors and an absolute peace surrounding me. I felt as if I were part of that ground and then part of those leaves or part of that wind. Then I missed my mother. I said to myself, 'Before I leave, I want to greet her.' But that very voice said to me, 'Your mother is going to suffer a lot because of this.' I could see her crying. At that time, my mother wasn’t with us because she was on vacation in Tuscany with my father. I didn’t really talk with that voice, but it answered me. I didn’t feel any need to talk. I knew that voice understood me. It said, 'It isn’t your time. You need to go. You need to learn from this experience.' Then I was in the light and then it suddenly went dark. I felt like I was inside in my body again.

I could some roots from the ground that were touching my arms and chest. Then I felt like the roots receded back, slowly underground. I opened my eyes and got the feeling that I was not alone. But at the same time, I was sad. I wanted to be there with that light. I got up and knew what to do. I had to go back to the caravan in the camping site. I walked back. The day after, I woke up strangely calm. I went to hug my nieces and played with them all day along.


Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 8/14/2019

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack. Other I was alone and I could feel the breath and heart-beat fading away.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes. I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. I was very aware about everything. I understood all my life, and it made sense - all my errors and everything.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I saw the light

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Time didn’t exist. I was all alone, so there was nobody to verify time. I don’t know how long the experience lasted. I was enraptured by what I was experiencing and I didn’t think of a clock ticking.

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I have never heard of NDE. I just heard of people who came back from coma saying that they had seen something or someone. I wasn’t interested in this because I didn't believe it. I just was used to the pain from being left alone.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I wouldn’t call it as hearing. During that experience, I was spiritually connected. I didn't experience it as having a voice or hearing, but rather I thought and heard it in my head because I was connected with that spirit like it was a brother, mum, or a father. I can perfectly distinguish the kind of hearing I could hear just before that experience (like the sound of sea waves or voices of my sister-in-law and my nieces) from the voice during the experience.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere, as if by ESP? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I cannot recognize if it was a real tunnel or if it can be called as a tunnel. All I know is that I felt drawn, but I couldn’t see a proper tunnel. I’d say it was more like a vortex.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was pitch-white and I had an immediate serenity feeling

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I remember very well of being part of that place. I was able to be a butterfly, or the wind. I remember I loved all those things because I was myself was all those things. I loved that light and I wanted it to keep hugging me with its voice

What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first, I felt like letting myself go. I was tired. I couldn’t bare my heartache. I said to myself, 'Bring me away. I don’t want this anymore.' During another thought concerning the total denial of my body. I was enraptured by feelings of absolute peace

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. I felt to be part of the universe, I wanted to be there to experience everything and to stay

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control. I got images about me when I was a child and I wanted to do things, but my mother used to yell at me. I got images about episodes of my life in which I was sad because I’m gay and I couldn’t accept myself. I saw images of my first boyfriend (the person who passed away in 2004), of nice and bad moments with him; images of his funeral and the image of him in the coffin. I got images about my job issues. I got images when I was mean at someone and about times when I acted as an insensitive liar. I’ve got images about my brothers and my relationship with them, about my best friend who died of cancer some years ago. I saw my mother who didn’t accept my being gay and her at my boyfriend's funeral saying, 'Can’t you see? This means it’s not your way!!!' I saw the moment just before dying and the feeling of not to wanting to be alive any longer.

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths Christian, although at that time I was losing my faith due to depression

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I restarted praying. I haven’t been doing this for years because to my life didn’t make any sense to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. What I experienced agrees with my continuous searching for love and sense for my life

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin It was a cozy, calm voice. I felt like I was thoroughly hugged. It could be described this way, but isn't 100% the idea it was all about.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I had the awareness that an universal interconnection exists, because I felt myself connected with all of it

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I couldn’t identify God as the voice/light. Anyway, after my experience I got back to pray and believe. I haven’t been doing it anymore for years

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I could understand all because I was myself all.

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes The voice/light gave me the awareness I had not to be worried about the death. it gave me the awareness I had to correct myself. here I’m using the verb “to correct”, but this verb doesn’t give you the exact idea of what I really experienced and the sweet way which by that voice/light managed I understand my life up that moment was heading through a wrong way.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I had the awareness, or better, the certainty our life continues in the afterlife. I experienced the hug of the light/voice.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No I’ve already written about this

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I relived all of them through images from my past. or better, they weren’t exactly images, but they rather were like a mix made by sounds, images and feelings of my life on earth.

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I knew love is all. Love is all the same with people, nature and the other living beings.

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life. I don’t care about making money. I want just to live in peace. Nowadays if someone asks for help to me, I feel empathy, I can understand my errors. I don’t care about my look. In the past, I had to be perfect looking, otherwise I felt myself awkward. Today I’m interested in getting myself better on the spiritual side, I’m interested to be not alone but to share with others.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I try not to be mad at other people anymore. I say to myself, 'I got to change. I’m not here to fight, but to understand people, to try and help them, and to be connected with others.'

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes that peace feeling has been so vivid. Every day I think of it. I try and live it again. But the feeling of absolute and huge love, I try to remember now is just 1% of what I experienced at that moment

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I do not know how my remembrance of the experience compares to my remembrance of other life events. I can’t make any comparison. This experience is impossible to describe 100% accurately.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I don’t know if what I’ve got is a paranormal thing. I’d say it isn’t. I rather feel like something advises me about every decision, like it is a part of me which drives me.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I absolutely miss the total love I experienced. I try and experience that love in my earthly life.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I can remember every feeling, but I didn’t want to share at first. Every day I used to think of that and I used to question myself about what has really happened

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Just yesterday, I searched for information on the internet web about NDE. I didn’t even know what the acronym NDE stood for. Now, I feel relieved because I have understood this thing doesn’t happen just to me. I feel the need to study every thing, not just NDEs. I feel the need to learn different languages and talk with people from foreign countries.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes One time, I dreamt of my ex-boyfriend's death, then I woke up and suddenly I experienced the feeling of getting back in the light, even though it was just 1% of all the sensations experienced during my NDE

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I’d like to get deeper in the understanding of this NDE experience and share with other people have been through this.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No, the questionnaire is perfect