I felt bubbles in my chest. I told the technicians that were in the room. I sat down on the bed, turned my head toward my husband. I could only see part of him, like through a scope. I intended to say, 'I feel like I'm dying conscious.' It came out as a cold, flat, 'I just want to die.' I didn't want to die and our 12-year-old son was in the room. I'd have never said that in front of him. It still has him scarred! I vaguely remember having a seizure type of jerking reaction to the drug. Then there was nothing.I was later told that I struggled and fought so much that they had to strap me down. I needed to be sedated so they could intubate me. I'm still waiting on the copies of the medical records; I'm hoping they're thorough and accurate. As for my experience with the nothing: it was a moment and an eternity. There was complete darkness, yet it was so peaceful that I cannot describe it. I was aware of my soul and aware that I was free from my body. There was no time like the one we have here while alive, on earth. Time felt stretched, but afterwards only seemed like a few seconds. I was aware of and thought of my children. Then I became aware that 'everything is as it should be.' It was as if someone had spoken it in their mind and I read their thoughts. It was as if I was just visiting. I felt complete and total peace. I had no idea that existed, before that moment. When I came back, I saw myself strapped down, intubated, and swollen. I saw everyone around me, patients in their rooms, nurses and doctors going back and forth, and completely unaware of me. Then it was like I blinked and opened my eyes and I was in my body.
Date NDE Occurred: February 2013
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness. Surgery-related. CPR given. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I had a catheter into the artery to my heart for Plasmapheresis. [Editor's Note: Plasmapheresis is a blood purification procedure used to treat several autoimmune diseases.] Upon removal of the catheter, they didn't properly cover the hole and air went to my heart, lungs and brain. I felt bubbles, lightheadedness, then became unaware, but still conscious, as I vaguely remember some of the experience, before I died.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes The people in Intensive Care, moving about.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I cannot describe the time, there was no time. It happened all at once. It was like I was aware of myself and the whole universe at once!
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time completely lost all meaning!
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I had no vision everything was dark.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't really hear anything.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The darkness seemed to be a place, like I had to travel far to get there.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt fear, then peace that I cannot describe.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe Everything was as it should be was the feeling/voice/message from God.
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events
The experience included: Awareness of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience that some people of all faiths will be in heaven, not just of the Christian religion, which goes against how I was raised in church
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe God has a plan.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin A presence, but didn't hear the voice as much as I just felt the intended message.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes God. Love, acceptance and complete peace.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain The universe is the mystical universe, it became apparent to me.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably existsÂ
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes as soon as I was in His presence I knew who He was
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes A knowing that God exists, a realization of true peace, and a glimpse of eternity compared to a lifetime.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes that I was not alone, that no one else is ever alone, that God is with us
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes To learn from them to help others
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes God loves everyone unconditionally, perfectly, completely. I have been able to retain this love for everyoneand its beautifully peaceful.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Large changes in my life. I can only describe it as: I walk in love.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The peace, I'm no longer afraid to die, I know that my children will be ok.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain I have tried to but not in as much detail.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I have heard about people visiting heaven or hell; that was completely different from my experience.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was more real to me than anything I've ever physically experienced in life on earth.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? For several weeks after my experience, I could not grasp the concept of time. I have a hard time watching TV or listening to music, as if it was all too overwhelming. I still have trouble watching anything with violence.
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