Crystal B NDE

Experience Description

I remember a few days ago dropping off a friend and driving down the road. Then everything started getting dimmer and I felt weak as if I was falling asleep. No matter what I did I couldn't wake, like passing out, but the weird thing was I didn't crash where I remember blanking out - I crashed about five miles after that. Anyhow, I blanked out.

I felt calm at first because I really did not know what was going on. Then I saw this road. I was going down the same road passing the same sign over and over and over again. I had to think, did I turn? Did I go straight? What is this? I felt confused. After about a minute of recurring the same sign, the same road then it became dark. A speck in the middle of sight and I didn't know what this was, then objects moving that I didn't understand. I didn't know who or what I was. I didn't know what I was staring at. I thought I was a computer or a robot and what I was staring at was some sort of thing. I cannot describe. It was irritating and I felt afraid that I would be stuck like that forever. I could talk, I cried. Then I remember knowing the purpose of life, why we are all here on earth. I remember it was as if someone was speaking to me. I felt disgusted and ashamed, but I don't remember what that purpose was. For some reason life doesn't make sense when you're dead and death doesn't make sense when you're alive. A lady who was with me, softly spoke, 'It's okay, everyone goes through this.' That did not calm me down. I was so terrified that I would be stuck like that.

Then, I remember seeing people in the past, like my father. When I was face to face to my father, I felt afraid. 'Did you steal this?' he said to me. 'No!' I replied, and then he asked it again, about ten times with the same movement as if it was rewound and replayed. When I told the truth I have to go on to the next person, I lied to. 'Did you do this to this?' 'No!' Then, when I had lied again, I ended up all the way back to my father. I had to tell the truth no matter how much crap I thought I would be in. I wanted it to end and I wanted it to fast forward so I chose to tell the truth throughout to all of the people I have lied to.

I was out for six hours or so. But on the other side it felt like I was there for a week going through these things, learning. I smoked a little pot that day before driving. That was the worst mistake of my life. I smoked pot before and drove, but nothing like this happened. I guess I really pissed God off, and he showed me a lesson.

I remember being under a light and people where around me. I tried to ask them what was going on but they were repeating themselves. Everyone was repeating themselves. I felt stuck in time for a while, like that wouldn't ever go away and each time I was afraid it would be stuck like that for eternity. I felt confused, terrified, and disgusted throughout this whole process. I did wake up once in the vehicle, I crashed and blood was all over the steering wheel and I felt my face and blood was dripping off my hands. No, you don't ever want to go through that. The window was shattered; you don't know where you are or who you are. You don't know what people are. You see images and they slowly appear as if you were a hard drive plugged back in. As if those things that we see every day, were actually our imagination. I spit out glass and teeth, my fiancé sitting next to me without a scratch asking me if I was okay, repeating himself. Then he walked away and I was scared of being alone and ditched to die again so I tried to crawl after him. I told him I loved him a million times. Then he leaves because he didn't know what road we were on that we crashed on, but I didn't know that I forgot we crashed. I didn't know who I was or who he was but he was a living thing and I could talk to him so I didn't want him to leave so I yelled for him and screamed and cried, shaking, terrified.

Then I passed out again and drifted in and out while the ambulance came to take me in I felt so much pain. I kept hearing glass shatter and my ears ringing and then I heard something say that I needed to speak up more because I was cold. Something told me that if I do the right thing, I get things in return that make me feel good instead of miserable. I was strapped when I drifted out again my blood pressure was only 8. Then they zapped me and I guess somewhere along there I bit a huge hole in my tongue that I'm feeling really bad right now. I have glass and chemical burns from the airbag on my face and a beaten up head. I remember seeing God last night. He was trying to make me feel better and said, 'I could invent a breakfast station suited with all the breakfast goods. You plug it in and when you wake up, everything's cooked for you.' He was trying to entice me because I couldn't eat. (God has a humor too!) But I learned to love him, and he is our father. Without his teachings, we wouldn't be anything. That is what he taught me.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 04/06/2009

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I rolled my car over five times and landed on a rock.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Frightening

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Let me think here. It's all kind of blurred out but I guess I was more conscious and alert when I heard Bobby repeat things over and over again. Then when the last second of my life repeated itself repetitive times I was pretty alert to freak out.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Like the last second of my life was repeating itself. The sound, the smell, the image, replaying over and over again, me being stiff unable to move or control anything.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Transparent objects, and everything dissolved as if it wasn't real to begin with.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I kept hearing things unable to make out what they were, then I heard the car rev up over and over again when the last second of my life was replayed over and over.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain I couldn't see what people looked like they were just faint figures I couldn't see faces.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I saw different places but they weren't beautiful or out of the ordinary. I just couldn't understand a lot of things.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I didn't know what I was, who I was, I didn't remember anything about my life or anything in it. I didn't know what I was looking at as if they were just odd shapes but I didn't even know what shapes were, just complete confusion and fear.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I learned to not do stupid things that get you in trouble and screw up your life. I learned that lying is bad, and if you do it you have to confront them after you die. Maybe you don't have to but I probably do. Before I just was careless and I thought I didn't fear death, now I do. Because somewhere along my experience he showed me times where I said, 'Oh I don't care if I die,' or 'Oh I want to die,' and driving at fast speeds and he showed me that dying isn't a pleasant experience when you are me.

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I know who I am going to marry in the future, I know when my mom and dad are going to die, and I know when I am going to have my child. I saw things that I don't understand yet and people I don't know.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I felt like I could move myself fast then I could move myself slow. Sounds very confusing but it's something I have never felt before that happened. And it was scary as if my life had been planned out and it was just extremely boring. Like life had lost its purpose, and the suspense of not knowing was gone. As if not knowing what life is, keeps us interested in it - if that makes sense.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate 'I didn't really believe in a religion. I believed there may have been a god, but I wanted to know him first and what he wanted out of us before I began to devote myself to him.'

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I believe in the Good Lord now.

What is your religion now? Moderate I never saw god when I died but I believe it was him teaching me a life lesson.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe in the Good Lord now.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew that the met had three daughters and that her husband had passed away. I saw through the eyes of my best friend and his last second before death also.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I treat people with more respect. I tell them what they need to know. I don't lie to people.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Because the feelings are unnatural. Nothing made sense. Like I was stuck in time and everything was going too fast and memory plays a huge part even though it happened only two days ago.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can sense the dead, and whenever I come near where someone died in a crash I feel the same way I did. It's very horrible and hopefully I will get used to it.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I'm just confused and I hope there is a God because if not I don't want to sit repeating the last second of my life over and over again, I want to be something after death, but what I experienced was what I believed in - so maybe I should change my belief.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it a few days ago after I got out of the hospital. I also remember telling people about it when I was drifting in and out, people that I didn't know. But nobody seemed to understand. I felt as if I was crazy and not making sense. It's not like anyone's going to take someone seriously that got in a car wreck involving marijuana. Believe me, I dropped that fast.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I believe that there's a reason why it goes away after time and why you won't remember, but I'm writing this while it's fresh because most of its going away.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was everything I believed in. I was clinically dead and everything I went through was completely insane and it was like a father teaching a daughter a life lesson with tools he should have had.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Marijuana. Which I know didn't help, but I tell you what it helped with - the pain. And being high and dead doesn't make sense either - I guess you might have to ask Tupac.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I just wish I understood all of this. I don't want to just be some robot and everything that is around me is just a part of my imagination.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Others might remember occurrences playing over and over again.