Christopher C NDEs

Experience Description

Several years previously, I had been using heroin daily and was dependent on it. Since that time, I had gotten married, found a good job, and was living a happy and productive life. I had recovered from my dependency and was no longer fully addicted to drugs. However, I did miss the feeling that heroin used to give me and so I still dabbled in it occasionally. My use was probably once per month or so.

On the night of my experience, I was visiting my younger brother. He also was a drug user, and often my use would be while I was in his company. We were in his small flat and I was sitting on the sofa in the living room. There was nothing remarkable about the setting or my mindset at the time. It was a scenario I had been in many times before without anything worth noting. I mixed up what, for me, was an average recreational dose of brown heroin and injected it into a vein in my forearm.

Next, I remember being out of my body in a vast black space. It was odd because although there was only blackness at that point, it didn't seem dark; it was both pitch black and brightly lit, simultaneously. I had no body, and it was just as if my consciousness alone was floating in this space. I was still 'me.' I just had no physical body. I did not find this odd or frightening; it seemed more real and natural than real life. There was also no sense of separation from my physical body or the physical world, and it just happened without me giving a second thought to what was going on. Emotionally I felt an overwhelming sense of joy and comfort; it was a beautiful and ecstatic feeling and very calm and serene. It felt very natural. My mind was more clear and more lucid than it had ever been.

The next part is tough to put into words. I don't know if I received new information or if, in this otherwordly state, I could see and comprehend things that I already knew, but I realized that I knew the answer to everything. I knew what we are, where we came from, and what the universe is. All the questions that we spend our lives trying to figure out, I knew the answers to. The most notable thought, and the only one I can still clearly recall, is that these answers were not complex. On the contrary, they were child's play simple. I remember thinking to myself, "Oh my god, how have I lived all my life and not seen this? It has been right in front of my eyes the whole time"! If I could have, I would have face-palmed myself for not working this basic stuff out before.

Then I noticed a light way off in the distance. It started as a sky-blue coloured dot, becoming larger and larger. I don't know if I was traveling toward it or if it was traveling toward me. I think probably the former. As I got close to this blue circle of light and it filled most of my vision, it exploded into brilliant rays of blue and green. At that point, my eyes sprang wide open, and I sat on my brother's sofa, gasping for breath. We both recall me saying these exact words- 'OH MY GOD! Let me catch my breath, and then I am going to tell you something amazing!'

My brother was standing over me with a telephone in his hand, dialing the emergency services. He had aborted the call when I sprang awake, and he later told me that my face had gone blue and my lips purple and that I had stopped breathing for approximately three minutes. Coincidently I had 'returned' at the exact moment he was going to press the dial button, having already put 999 into the phone. I had no sense of time passing while I was in my experience.

Once I had composed myself and got my breath back properly, I attempted to recount to my brother the information regarding our existence which I was now privy to, or so I thought I was. Like on waking from a dream, the memory of that information was gone. Or there is just no human language capable of describing it. I know to this day that I had access to that information while I was 'away.' I cannot recall or recount it. I can still remember and recount my normal thoughts from that space, such as the realization all the answers had been in front of me my whole life. I often wonder if those earth-shattering revelations are still there in my mind, unable to be accessed in a normal conscious state.

As a follow on to this experience, in 2018, I drank a lot of rum one evening with my sister-in-law, and she got out some lines of Ketamine for us to snort. In my drunken state, I accidentally snorted all four lines she had put on her phone screen. Within a few minutes, I was back in the same space I was in during my NDE. I had the same realizations as before, and the experience served to solidify in my mind the one that I had had several years previously. It wasn't just an imagined realm; it was real.

Since these experiences, I have gained a much more profound appreciation of life and the natural world around us. I have moved away from the city and live a simple and very happy life surrounded by mountains, trees, and wildlife. I also no longer have the fear of death that I had previous to my NDE because I now know what will happen when I die. I believe that being in a human body is challenging and unnatural for us and that our proper form of being is one of consciousness alone.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: 2014

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) I was an occasional recreational user of IV Heroin

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

Did you feel separated from your body? Uncertain I feel that the blue circle or sphere in my experience may have been our planet earth seen from space. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Explained in experience

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It was stable throughout

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Time didn't seem to exist, or I had no feeling of it

Were your senses More vivid than usual? No

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I think it was pretty much the same

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Cannot recall, experience was 8 years ago. This is the first time I have ever described it in writing

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Described in experience report

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. As described in experience, a dark and simultaneously light space or void

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Joy, comfort, relaxation, peace

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. I understood the meaning of life, the universe, and everything

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. Brought back after involuntarily being blinded by beams of green and blue light

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Do not know. I believed in god, as in a higher intelligence from which creation arose, but I do not believe in religion.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Do not know. Same as before my experience(s) only more strongly confirmed

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I always had a belief that our consciousness and body exist separately to each other. Being in a human body has always felt a little strange and unnatural. I would look in the mirror and think, what on earth is this thing that I am inside of?

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes It 100% affirmed beliefs that I was not 100% sure of previously

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I believe that I knew the answers to everything because my conciousness was a part of that 'everything'

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I know for certain that I did have this information, but I cannot recall or recount it specifically

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I know for certain that I did have this information, but I cannot recall or recount it specifically

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Yes

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes I know for certain that I did have this information, but I cannot recall or recount it specifically

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes I know for certain that I did have this information, but I cannot recall or recount it specifically

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Some of it could be explained in words, but the insights and information I received cannot be described in words.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes A sixth sense for impending danger, for example knowing an animal is about to run in to the road in front of my car

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Yes, the fact that I have seen and understood the answers to everything we seek as humans, and the realisation that they are not complex questions and that the answers are right in front of us. I just cannot see them again since returning to a human form.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I told people right after but have never written it down before. I'm not sure anyone else has been influenced by my experience though

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard of NDEs but never looked into them too much. None of the events in my experience were things I had ever previously heard of.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. To put it simply, it just felt more real than real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. As per experience report, I had a reaffirming experience while on psychedelic drugs a few years later.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Ketamine