Carolyn H ADC

Experience Description

I was aware that my grandmother’s life was coming to an end. I had spoken to her on the phone. She was still alert, and oriented but clearly saying her goodbyes to me. I was very sad, as she had been the closest family member in my life, up to that point. She was 50 when I was born and we were very close.

I went to sleep later that night. In the middle of the night, I woke up out of my body. I was floating on the ceiling and looking down on myself sleeping. The visual details were crystal clear, which was confounding because I had never observed myself from an overhead perspective. So it made no sense what I was experiencing, yet it was very detailed. There was a roaring sound and a lot of turbulence. I remember thinking, 'I had always thought of the air in my bedroom as still but of course it moves constantly. It only feels still because I am usually the one moving.' So I was bumping along a turbulent and noisy river of air. I thought to myself, 'I am following Grandma out of this world. No, I am too young to do this. It is not my time yet, I have to go back.' Then, I felt myself re-enter my body.

I knew for certain that my grandmother had died. She had no final illness, she was just really old. When the phone rang this morning, I picked it up and it was my mother calling. She told me grandma had died. I was completely calm, as I already knew.

I was NOT asleep and it felt nothing like a dream. It is still a very detailed memory, although it happened almost 40 years ago. I never told anyone about it. It was not scary or peaceful; it was VERY vivid but emotionally quite neutral.

In reading in the NYT today (May 3, 2025) about the various hypotheses to explain near-death experiences, it occured to me that there might be some value to you in collecting other kinds of out-of-body experiences; in case they can shed any light on this phenomenon.

Believe me when I tell you, I am the LAST person in the world who would ever imagine themselves believing in something this non-material. But the specific details make it very hard for me to dismiss it as a delusion. It’s hard to articulate why as these are mysteries.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: August 1987

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No. I felt grief. I am submitting this story in case you are interested in researching links between Near Death or other emotional states such as extreme grief

How do you consider the content of your experience? Neither pleasant NOR distressing

Did you feel separated from your body? No. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal. Just the attention to detail and the gripping awareness of things that we normally aren’t aware of (i.e. the movement of the air)

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? throughout

Were your thoughts speeded up? No

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No

Were your senses More vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. the biggest difference was the perspective of looking down on myself. But this was not just a general imagination of what I would look like from above, this was extremely detailed.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. a constant roar, which I attributed to the movement of the air

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Uncertain. I am not sure how to answer. I knew for sure that my grandmother had died and that I was following her out of this world. I knew this although I had not yet been told that she had died. I did not meet her per se.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Sadness, hopefulness. Mostly the entire episode could be characterized as feeling intensely curious. I’m not sure I would call an emotion. I was just observing and finding it interesting while it was happening. Again, hard to explain

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No see #21

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a definite conscious decision to return to life. I realized that I had left my body to follow my grandmother out of this world. I reasoned that it was premature of me to do so because I was too young, and that I had to go back into life.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Jewish secular humanist Judaism

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Jewish secular humanist Judaism

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. As I’ve tried to articulate in earlier answers, for this experience to be congruent with my past (and current) beliefs, it would have to be dismissed as a dream or a delusion. It was neither. I can’t explain that.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I have more humility in thinking that there are mysteries that can't always be explained. I am more open, perhaps, than I would otherwise have been to other people’s strange stories.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify. It was not really a voice, I was just surrounded by a roar, which was not at all unpleasant.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain. Only in the sense that the entire experience runs counter to my lifelong commitment to being rational. For this reason, I am interested in any scientific study of this phenomenon.

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain. I was quite sad at the time because I knew my grandmother was going to die in the near future. I had no reason to think she’d die that night. This experience definitely convinced me of the importance of committing to life without her, rather than following her into death.

During your experience, did you gain information about an afterlife? Uncertain I felt certain that my consciousness was energetically separate from my body, and had not only a separate existence but even a heightened awareness (for example, of movement and noise) and a perspective that I wouldn’t have when it was in my body. This flies in the face of everything I beieve to be true, and still believe to be true, and yet there it is. It is mysterious to me.

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life’s difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes as I’ve tried to describe, the most remarkable thing to me was how unusual my point-of-view was, how specific, how strongly I felt my consciousness separated from my body and bumping along in the turbulent air high up in my bedroom. I mean these are difficult things to describe because they are so WEIRD. Unlike a dream, they have never faded at all. I never had the sensation of waking up just re-entering my body. How do you describe this to otherwise rational people? I am a confirmed atheist

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. Almost everything that happened 40 years ago has blurred. And dreams start to lose their luster immediately upon waking. This never has, it continues to be quite vivid to me, despite the fact that this is the first time I have written or spoken about it.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? It felt like a meaningful commitment to my own life, despite my grief over the ending of my grandmother’s life.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? No

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real. I am more open now to the possibility that it was some kind of elaborate hallucination. At the time, I was 100% convinced.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

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