I am the second of four children and as a child, I was a brat. I drove everybody crazy, in particular my brothers. I remember that on the day of my fourteenth birthday, one of my brothers promised to take me shopping. I had been waiting for that day. Since I was the only girl in the family, they did not let me go out often. So this was an event for me that was not to be missed. Unfortunately, an unexpected phone call messed with my plans. The fact my little brother wasn't keeping his promise with me so he could meet a girl was unacceptable to me. So I decided to waste his meeting. I saw my brother leaning on the basin to wash his hair and I decided to hide his shampoo, knowing that it would make him mad. I wanted him to change his mind. He asked me gently to give it back to him; once, twice, and thrice. But instead of giving him his shampoo back, I turned to run away. At that time, he instinctively seized me by my neck. I felt no pain and didn't think I was being suffocated. From that moment on my reality changed. I felt my shoulders seized by an indescribable force. It was as if I were being pushed into a tunnel of stars. I was going so fast that the stars were dashing by me at light speed. Then suddenly, everything stood still. I found myself hovering in one place that was in the most absolute and dense darkness. I remember I was vainly struggling to discern something. I noticed I could see 360° in all directions at once. I remember this feeling of waiting, as if something or somebody was to arrive. I had the feeling that there was something else after that standstill. Slowly, the thick and unfathomable darkness turned into a warm and comfy gray color. I begun to realize that I wasn't afraid. I glanced downward and to my amazement I found that my body looked different. At chest height, there was a candid sphere of white light emanating rays. I could see the surroundings, although there was still all darkness beyond that. I wouldn't know how to describe it otherwise. Suddenly, I had a shower of questions I wanted to have answered. They were questions like: who is God, if It exists, how we were born on earth, questions that in all honesty I never asked myself before because I was too young to ask myself so serious questions. At the same time, I got the answers. I was startled. Then I begun feeling one with that place. The knowledge was filling the voids. Being so young, my mind was like a virgin star yearning for knowledge. I remember all the positive sensations I experienced as time went by. I felt more and more as if I were acquiring some amazing energy. Not feeling the burden of my body was supplying an experience of freedom that cannot be reached on earth. All the positive feelings I was experiencing were amplified to their highest potency. Suddenly all came to a close. I felt my body, like each inch was pierced by needles; even my eyes. It was as if I were waking up to unbearable pains. I felt tired, as if I were going to fall asleep. I begun seeing some sort of flashes, the guy on me asking: can you hear me? Stay awake! I remember I tried to say to him not to touch me because I felt pain everywhere. The next recollection I have was of awaking in a hospital under observation. At times, I tried to open my eyes and I could see white overalls or my mother, or my brother. Later they told me what happened, namely that my brother had caught me by my neck. He had pressed on my carotid and my brain got no more oxygen. Unfortunately, chances were that I also had a cardiac malfunction and the combination of these made my heart stop. I remember bruises on my chest for resuscitation and the blows given because they weren't succeeding to bring me back. It took me a long time not to hate the whole world. I spent many months alone in my room. I remember this experience left me with a wish to be alone; weird but true. Still today, I long for solitude and to be in meditation. Now I remember all of the experience with pleasure.
Date NDE Occurred: 17/ 12/1988
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain. strangolamento accidentale. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
It was certainly a joke between brothers that turned into a tragedy.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I feel that I belong more to that than to this.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When everything stood still and when I understood that I was a being of light.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
The feeling was, that time lost meaning.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I can't see well here on earth.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. During my experience, the questions asked did not arrive to my ears but I felt as if I was connected with someone.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I was drawn into a starry tunnel by a force beyond imagination. I could see the stars dashing.
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I was hovering and looking down. I saw a ball of white light emitting rays. I knew it was I.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I had the feeling of hanging out in a void while waiting for something or somebody.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? All positive emotions but at their highest degree.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe At the same moment I asked a question, I had its answer. I mean questions which mankind has been asking since forever.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown
What was your religion prior to your experience? Do not know Al epoca c'era la dittatura, il credo e la religione era vietato, di conseguenza neanche in famiglia non si parlava per la paura di essere denunciati.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I began searching for a refuge with the Catholic Church which little by little provides me with the answers for which I was looking.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic Preferisco agire, aiutare il più debole portando viveri a chi non ne ha, ad adottare un bimbo a distanza.....
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I began wondering what is actually religion; who is God?
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I can only say that for any given question, I had the answer but I cannot tell whence it came. Certainly, not from me.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes My certainties about a life after death come from the fact I knew perfectly I was awaiting something or somebody.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Unknown
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No I believe, under this point of view, my brain was virgin, no belief, religion, or other beliefs clouded by experience.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? After this experience, I became more self-reliant. I haven't involved anyone anymore in my decisions. Still today, it's so. After this experience, I became more self-reliant. I haven't involved anyone anymore in my decisions. Still today, it's so.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes As time went by, I could feel the pain of others as if it were mine.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember this experience as if it happened now; all other recollections are pale in comparison
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No I can feel the 'pain' of others.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The fact that I managed to see myself as a being of light had a huge importance to me. It means that nothing managed to corrupt my brain.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I tried. But we are surrounded with people who have no time to think about these things. They just shrugged.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Because I felt and I still feel that; it is as more real than reality rather than this one.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real The longer I go on with life the more this experience becomes conscious.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I would surely be a different person without this experience. I am sure that there has always been a reason for all that happens in our life. Maybe I wouldn't have come to Italy, I wouldn't have been a painter, I couldn't have adopted a child, I wouldn't have had my partner with whom this year we celebrate twenty years together.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think they are exhaustive.
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