While undergoing my second C-Section, the epidural was administered incorrectly which led to me having a near death experience. During that time, what I saw and felt was amazing. I felt carefree, like I had no worries and nothing could harm me. I was surrounded by a bright, white light. Brighter than anything, I have ever seen. All around me was white light, but it was concentrated and brighter right in front of me. I have thought about this over the years to determine where I was. I don't believe it was heaven. I truly believe I was in a place where no light can escape, like a black hole. It is a place where all life originated. I have evaluated the situation and come up with every possible scenario, but this is the only one that makes sense. It is a place where there is no time and where you don't feel anything except peace. I didn't smell, taste, hear, or feel anything. I could only see the light.
Date NDE Occurred: June 16, 1994
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Surgery-related. Childbirth. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function)
I'm not sure exactly.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I was able to focus with total concentration on the situation.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I don't know how long I was gone, but it seemed like I was alert the whole time.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
It seemed like there was no time at all, just a now which lasts forever.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision seemed perfect. There was no blurriness, no floaters, just pure, perfect light.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I couldn't hear anything. It was so quiet and peaceful.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I saw the brightest, white light I had ever seen. It was something like you would see in a black hole where all light is trapped.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It was like a place I could never imagine. It was not heaven, hell, Earth or other planets. It was as if a black hole filled with trapped light.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt happy, at peace. It was something I have never felt in my life. I felt safe and loved.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I understand now that we all came from the black hole during the Big Bang, where all life originated.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Other or several faiths Pagan, Baptist
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am now completely Pagan and believe that the God most people think is real is just really the black hole.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me
What is your religion now? Other or several faiths Pagan, Baptist
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I did not believe we did anything once we died. I thought that when we died we were just dead. I know different now.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I don't believe there is a God anymore. I believe the black hole is our God. I believe it created us all and when we die, our soul goes back to its origin with all the trapped light.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes I experienced a black hole I believe. Before this incident I believed that when we died we were just dead. Now I know different.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I now think that when our body dies, we all go back to our place of origin, the black hole.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God probably does not exist
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife does not exist
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes I know that we never really die. I believe we are sent back to the black hole (either as atoms, or our soul) and our atoms are recycled which may explain deja vu.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I can remember every single thing I saw and felt at that time like it just happened a moment ago.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole experience was meaningful to me. It totally changed what I thought I knew.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I know what I saw and experienced was real.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have not changed my view of what happened. I remember it so clearly, still.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
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