I was in hospital about to get an intravenous (IV) drip with anesthesia. When the line unkinked, the drugs came racing into my body. I felt my heart immediately go into extreme tachycardia. 'My heart!' I yelled, 'My Heart!' The nurses came running toward me.
Suddenly, I was flying about 8 feet over my body. I was watching the scene below as the nurse scrambled through the cabinet looking for something. She was pulling things out and onto the floor. The nurse assistant ran into the surgery room. She grabbed the doctor, who ran over to me and started doing compressions while the nurses got the big needle out. they were arguing about whether it would be better to put it into my chest or into the IV line. I thought I was in a dream state until I looked at the EKG and it was all flatlines with the alarms were going off.
I said to myself, 'Oh Fu#$! I am Dying!' I could see the doctors down below trying frantically to bring me back. I said, 'I don't want to die! Oh My GOd! NO!' I tried to dive back into my body, but instead I was falling backward through a dark tunnel with what seemed like thousands of miles per hour. It was horrifying until I started slowing down. I realized that it wasn't a dark tunnel. It was a tunnel with so many lights. There were so many colors I had never seen before. I wasn't afraid any more.
At the end of this tunnel was the most beautiful place in existance. I seemed to have arrived back in the room but in another dimension. I was looking at everyone and everything in that hospital through what I can only describe as 'through the eyes of God. I felt the Love of God for all these people in the hospital; the patients, the staff, and the receptionist. I never saw my own life, but I saw everyone else's life pass before my eyes. I saw the receptionist and everything about her. I saw her heart. I felt her love for her babies. I felt her pain and her thoughts. I saw the technician and everything in his life right then. I saw each person for who they really truly were. I saw what motivated them and I saw their beautiful soul-full hearts. I saw their souls as if through the eyes and heart of God. I saw them and I loved them, each and every person. I seemed to pull back from the room and up, out of the building. I saw people on the street and knew their pain. I saw them with pure love.
Then I began getting an information download. There was no talking, just information going into me with absolute love. It was very clear, very loud, and very certain, that We are ALL VERY IMPORTANT TO GOD. We are all deeply, deeply loved by God and that Life is suppose to be hard but that it is some sort of proving Ground for God to create him. The message was that our lives are deeply important to God and to the existance of the universe. Our Love we have and the love we cultivate on earth, especially for people we have a hard time liking, that love somehow expands the universe and does some very important things. I felt that there was something at stake, that we have a very important job to do. Human Beings are beloved and our choice in how to act is given to us to prove God. I don't know how to describe it, I am trying hard to explain it here but it's hard to explain. It may take my lifetime to explain what I learned.
IN this place we go to, we will have lightness, laughter and joy, and our soul family is there waiting for us. Our jobs on earth are to find out how to break through all these illusory walls everywhere that we erect to hide who we are. We need to really love each other and love ourselves. I felt as though there was a sense of humor too. I was like a deep appreciation for our lives and even for our failures. We are suppose to learn from our failures and not beat outself up over them. We find a way to forgive and love ourselves because in reality, in the real place of creation, there is only Love.
It seemed the message was that if we couldn't find a path to love, then we are destroying something very very precious.
I recognized a big crowd of people around me, but they didn't have human form. I recognized their souls. They had pink shapes but also resonated to the energy which was them. My great-uncle Steve, I felt him there. I also felt the presence of my grandmother who is actually alive. It was then that I realized that when we pray, we actually send our soul-self to the side of the person. It is an act of love which makes creation. The love was incrediible and the beauty was so absolutely, outrageously incredible. When I was looking down at all these people and the doctor who was trying to save me, I was thinking, 'OK man, let's get back in there! I love these people Oh, these people are so loved!'I wanted to go back so badly and tell them how loved they were. I was standing alongside this soul family of mine and in the presence of what I would describe as total love from the one who made it all. Yet, I wanted to go back.
The next moment I was in my body and squeezed the doctor's hand who was holding my hand. He was crying to have me come back. I said, 'Don't let me go! Oh, Doctor Don't let me Go!'
Date NDE Occurred: March 2016
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life,threatening event? Yes. Surgery-related.
My heart wasn't functioning becuase there had been a problem with the anesthesia dripline. It had kinked for 40 minutes and then when it unkinked, all the anestesia drugs came racing into my system and stopped my heart. My heart wasn't functioning for 2 minutes and 45 seconds, during which time I was having an NDE.
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I was apart from my body completely. From the moment I was flying over my body, to the time when I went through the tunnel, I was in an expansive location. I was surrounded by what I would describe as the soul-selves of people I was familiar with and whom I did not know but seemed to know somehow but couldn't recall. These people didn't have human bodies either; they were like misty-pink shapes smiling with joy and resonating with love. I had absolutely no pain and I live in chronic debilitating pain from spinal cord injury and CRPS, so I was definately seperated from my body.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The doctors said my heart wasn't working for 2 minutes and 45 seconds. However in the experience, I received information and was very inquisitive, but in another dimension.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning. Absolutely. There didn't seem to be the concept of time in this forever-land. Although it seemed like things moved, which doesn't make sense to Newtonian physics or to Einstein's postulates, this place was a magnificent creation. It was ineffable and reminds me of how does one explain the beauty of Mozart's symphony? But I felt it in its entirety as it was. It seems like when we create beauty on earth, it is being manifest in heaven. When we sing on earth, it is amplified to the golden ratio in heaven where it becomes like manna, although in this place there is no hunger or thirst. There is just truth and satisfaction.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Only when I first came out of my body, floating over the room, did I hear everything going on. I heard the alarms of the heart monitor and oximeter. I actually don't understand how my brain 'woke up' after having been deprived of oxygen for so long, but I did have a major cardio-workup after that and it didn't show any lasting damage.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes Misty-pink forms that I recognized their souls, even though they didn't have faces. It's like they seemed to resonate to a vibration of love which was memorable to me. I have been trying to draw pictures of what I saw.
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I am an artist. The light I describe was not white, but like zillions of colors of frequencies that I have never seen or experienced. It was totally different type of thing. I am interested in science and was wondering what was that? It was not a regular photon, but something utterly different
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I seemed super-sensory in this other realm. It seemed very clear to me that in our existence as human beings, we don't have the receptors to process this beauty, or unique kind of light and sound. There seemed to be a music that each living thing possessed. I could actually feel, not just hear, the trees, animals, birds, grasses and skies in this other REALITY. This place is where the things have a song which you can feel. It sounds bizarre I know, I can barely explain it. Since the experience I have been studying physics trying to make sense of it.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt pure and total love, lightness, joy, deepest compassion, and pure joy. There was a deep, warm, resonating, and incredible awe, along with inspiring love.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe. We are important to God or whatever you want to call it. All religions are trying to explain God but it is just impossible to explain. A true heart which is motivated by loving compassion is what matters in life. Our job is to try to love one another no matter what. It matters very much if we can love or not because that is our job in this world. We must love! This is what we live for and it doesn't mean we must only love our spouse. It means we need to find out how to love our enemy because that is why we are here. We are also deeply important to God. Our job on earth is important. If we don't learn how to love there are very bad consequences in the multiverse. My sense was strongly that we are Needed and our worth is how much we can love
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future. This has been extremely disturbing in fact. I had dreams which seem to be presented as riddles. I don't like to tell anyone this part of it. I don't like this part of it and all the other wierd stuff which has happened afterwards. I feel other people's feelings, even people I don't know. I feel like people think I am a freak if they were to find out. But then my dreams, they have been coming true. I have these communications happening again. They are not voices or crazy-people talk. The information is presented to me in dreams or in the waking hours. I even worried something was wrong with me and I spoke with my psychologist. I started seeing him as a child and I started telling him what I saw, and it was the truth.
This stuff I am not at all comfortable with. I don't like this and I am scared of this post-NDE ability. It makes no sense. I am trying to understand what possibly could be causing these things. I don't mention to anyone except a very few people because it sounds like I am some kind of nut-job. The only people who I share it with are my Native American friends. I have distant family who are Native Americans who believe that what I am having is like medicine women visions. As a scientifically minded person, I would assume these experiences would be some kind of brain damage except that these dreams are coming true and the things I mention to people does happen to them. I think I have to do a deep soul searching of myself to see what I truly believe here. I am after all an artist and perhaps I have a very vivid imagination and am just making some strange guesswork.
But sometimes I will walk into a room with someone and it's like a memory replays in my head, except it's not my memory. It is nobody that I personally know. Twice when I mentioned these things to a person, prefaced with 'does this mean anything to you?' Then they start crying or something. I do NOT want to be a freak! I never asked for this. To my knowledge, who knows maybe I did as an agreement with the other side on the way back. I am already an artist who some of society feels is an outsider but I always thought 'mediums' were whackos and frauds. I guess I would call myself an empath.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I could see the distinction between our life and this other place. The wall between the two worlds is but a filament, thin as a piece of baby's hair. The love we seek is right there resonating right outside us. We need only to call on it. The world here on earth is not supposed to have all this beauty from the other side. We are suppose to bring the beauty to this world with our love. That is what it needs, human love to bring it into a new consciousness.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Jewish
What is your religion now? Moderate Jewish
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My belief that there are multiple dimensions is certainly cemented in my mind. I have always had a deep quest for knowledge but it has now grown much more intense. My formerly waivering belief in God now is rock solid. It is totally complete without a doubt. That place is the real reality, that place I went to is not this place. This is some kind of proving ground.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Yes. I believe my life's purpose has changed and so I am uncertain where this will lead
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The level of love was so incredible, immense and overwhelming. I have never felt that anywhere on earth. Also the environment I was shown after falling at impossible speeds backwards through this giant tunnel at first was very scary. I didn't want to be in the tunnel. I wanted to be back in my body. But then at the end of the tunnel I was back in the room, sort of. I was in this place I can't ever describe because it's more beautiful than anything I've ever seen or experienced in my life, it was ethereal. The beauty I could taste, although I didn't seem to have a body because there was an absolute absence of pain. I felt absolute joy, happiness, lightness, and perfection. It was complete and total perfection.
This place was an expansive forever and yet the room was there, like in a glass cube. The cube is the dimension we live on earth and it is but a tiny fraction of the reality of existance. We on earth, in our lives, only see with these few little senses. Meanwhile, in REALITY, and that's what I had the sense of, is that true REALITY consists of far more than the small dimensions we have on earth. We have our 5 senses on earth and it is upon this that we build our entire sense of what we are and who we are and what we are doing here. In REALITY, there are far more elements and far more senses that our soul beings have. Now this sounds insane, but if you can imagine this, to a theoretical physicist or to a Jewish Mystic, it almost makes sense I suppose. I have been studying these things to try to make sense of the information I received.
Do you have any psychic, non,ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes this is embarasssing to mention, but yes. I even had to get in touch with someone to do 'cleansings on my home' because there were many wierd and unexplained things were happening. Some of these things my husband also witnessed, so it was not at all an illusion. I first was thinking I was losing cognitive functions because of the oxygen loss when my heart stopped, but the things which have been happening are inexplicable and bizarre. I would only tell a very select few of individuals.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best part was experiencing the love that God has for all of us and getting to experience how God loves us through his eyes. The opportunity for me to feel truly, loving compassion for another person was life-changing. The worst part was worrying that my life would be cut short. I'm still young and have so much life to live. I have always loved my life so so much.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have only shared this experience with twelve people and some people in certain online communities. I fear people will think I am a crazy, fringe, conspiracy theorist nutjob which does not serve me in my work at all. This experience has thrown a real curve ball at me however because after having this experience I can't exactly go back to business as usual. I watched a bunch of videos on amazon prime about NDE and I laugh at the scientists who are cocky and declare that NDEs are just a product of reduction in certain neurotransmitters to certain parts of the brain. That is so ridiculous! I have learned because we know so little about the central nervous system. I search endlessly for the truth, this I have known since I was a child. At 10 years old, my mom asked me what I wanted to do when you grow up. I told her, 'Well mom, I have a feeling my life will consist of a kind of compassionate search for the truth.' That sure hasn't changed.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Since I have a terminal illness which is a very painful one, each time that the pain becomes too much for my human body to deal with, I do what they call transcendental meditation. I close my eyes and sit if I am able. I imagine by body from the belly button, up back in the heavenly realm. I pray to the ones who surrounded me with their love and I ask for their guidance. I ask sometimes for their help and for their love to fill up my soul and to help heal my body. After breaking my neck and having the botched surgery, I live in terrible pain where sometimes I can only take a breath at a time. Two years ago I was given two years before I would be living in a wheelchair. Well, I am still standing. When I have these moments, believing my head and neck are in the heavenly realm, sometimes I write; sometimes I ask questions and write down answers coming from what some would call my higher-self.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Thank you for asking to share. I hope that I have an opportunity to connect with others who have had this experience. I know, that whomever is reading this, You are deeply loved. Your life is deeply important to God. God is greater than anything you could ever even fathom - too great for me to even experience. I just felt the presence of God and his love. You my dear person reading this are important. Your Life is critical. The love you have inside you is beautiful and brilliant and it is needed on this earth. You can change this world with your love, which is entirely particular to you only. You have your own song.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Are there any support groups you have joined to help deal with your NDE and any resulting changes in your sensitivity levels and if so list them so we can get help from others