For the last several years my present
marriage has been coming to an end with my wife spending fewer and fewer
hours at home. Sometimes not coming home at all for several days out
drinking and carousing. It has been a 23 year marriage and I had come to
the conclusion that the time to end it had come in the summer of 2004. It
was a rough year with the final realization of her relationship with someone
else. Her father, a man I have grown to love, asked that I wait a year
before proceeding - just to see where it would go. It went nowhere.
I had made the decision to move with
my girls to a new life and had no intensions or desires to be with another
woman. I had, had enough and did not want to commit myself again to another
failure. We are still in the process of separation and the sale of our
family home. Even when decisions are finally made it takes a while.
I had and still do get approached by
women, it may seem odd but I have turned them down. Some are friends, some
I had just met, I had/have no interest in them in that way.
I had a large meeting to go to in
September/05. I was approached to share a room with a female companion and
turned her down. I did not want to go down that path. I found my own room
in my own hotel.
We arrived that evening at a meet and
greet. I then was introduced to some others from our "office". The first
two I had no problem meeting. The third knocked me for a loop. We looked at
each other; our eyes locked. ( I recognized the eyes from dreams as a
child). I swear I saw electricity in the air around her. She was lit up like
a Christmas tree. The flow of energy from and to each other was incredible.
It scared the hell out of me and later I found it scared her as well. I
avoided her like the plague. I had to sit at the same table and would sit
several seats away. She thought, I thought she was weird. Then we had the
"finale" for the weekend. There was a show and we had dinner at tables
facing the stage. I had arrived early and though I had made my choice of
seats. Only to find when I did go to sit down that the seating arrangements
had changed. The seating was very tight and I was right next to her. Our
knees touched - It was like a bolt of electricity went through me and we
looked at each other abruptly. Neither of us really saying anything but it
was written all over both our faces. We had no where to run any longer. the
connection was there and we didn't know what to do about it. The show was a
flop. She left with one of the other ladies ( coincidently the one that
wanted to share a room ). The rest of us left shortly there after. I
bumped into her in the hall and we started talking. Our eyes gluing us
together. She asked me "What are you doing to me?" I said nothing and
explained what I saw when I first met her. I then told her what kind of an
effect she was having on me physically. She grabbed me by the hand and drug
me outside. She said "We have to see if we can stop this - Give me a hug."
I gave her a hug and the electricity between us fowed back and forth like
crazy. It was incredible. Her response was "What the hell was that?". I
responded I didn't know. Things progressed that night in ways neither of us
expected. We have a deep love of each other and recognize it everytime we
see each other. I have shared all my deepest secrets with her just because
it is her. We feel no regret or remorse about what is happening to us. The
following has happened when we are not together physically, but think
confirms our soul connection. I have broken into tears for no reason only to
find that she is upset. I have felt her feeling erotic and questioned her
about it only to find something had occured. The list goes on.
It is difficult though. My marriage is
still in the process of ending. She is still in hers. We have had people
say ignore what has/is happening to you; it is wrong; you are married. I
feel like this is a gift from heaven. I can honestly say that this is the
first time I know what real love is and anything else is a sham. If for some
reason we are unable to be together I will accept no other in my life who
does not give me the soul sharing that this woman has given me. I have been
shown what a real connection is supposed to feel like when you meet a
soulmate. Meeting others is like looking at cardboard figures now; I
couldn't accept a relationship with anyone like that. It would be a lie and
I will not live that kind of life.