Kathy O's SMR 
 

NDERF Home Page
NDE Stories
Share NDE (Web Form)

Experience description:   

First experience:

My first experience began when I was about 6 or 7 years old. I was attending a Catholic Church (St James) in Madison Wi. After the service I remember going up to light a candle for the Virgin Mary. After I light the candle I was praying and that was when I heard her talking to me. I heard a very soft beautiful voice in my head and I remember being memorized by it. It was telling me that I was going to be called upon and that I needed to be patient I wish I could remember more but I can’t I remember when she was talking to me it felt like time had stopped and that it was just her and me in the church. I even saw her statue wink at me – needless to say even for an 6 year old I did not tell anyone because I knew that statues are not suppose to talk to you let alone wink at you. I had repressed this memory until my next experience.

Second experience:

When I was 27 years old I had another experience. I had just had my second child and I remembering sitting in my rocking chair watching Ronald Regan selection for the first teacher in space. When Christa McCulla was called to accept the position. I felt a feeling of pure doom spread from my head into every cell of my body. It felt like someone had placed their hand on my head and let this ooze of doom invade my body. I could not move, I was frozen as this feeling went through me. I couldn’t believe this – I knew that if she got on the space shuttle she was going to die. I remember I kept saying “this can’t be happening” over and over again. When I was released I didn’t know what to do – should I call NASA and tell them – if I did would they even believe me. Who am I but a simple housewife with two small children.

I was so afraid that if I called NASA that they would send the police out and I would be in trouble so I didn’t tell anyone. Little did I know that others were also receiving these kinds of feelings and calling NASA. On the morning of the lift off I did not catch the initial showing of the shuttle blasting off . When I did find out what happened I remember sinking to the floor and I made a promise to GOD that the next time he made contact with me I would listen. It was at this point that I realized that we are not alone and that there is something else going on but I just did not understand. It was then that I remembered about the conversation with the Virgin Mary. I believe this experience was my awakening. 

Third experience:

When I was 33 years old I had another experience that was even more dramatic. I remember waking up one morning and as I started to get out of bed I saw a brilliant white light in the corner of my room. At first I thought that this was just sunshine although I remember thinking that I never saw sunlight like that before so I glanced at my door and saw that it was almost shut. How could all that light get in my room. Then I thought that this light must be the ghost of a girlfriend of mine that had past away when she was 19. As I looked at the light I remember how utterly beautiful it was. This light was really bright but it did not hurt my eyes to look at. I was memorized by it.  When I closed my eyes I could still see it . It was then that I fell back on the bed and realized that I could not move. It was like I was being held down.

Then I saw images of a man and I heard a voice again talking to me in my head. This voice was talking about this man and who he was and that we were going to met. This voice told me about his temperament, what he looked like, his heritage, and what he would say to me when we meet. This voice said that this man needed to be shown the right path in life and he would give me the passion that I needed in my life. I remember tossing my head from side to side ‘NO I would never have anything to do with someone like this NO WAY”.

When I was released, I thought “Is this really happening” – things like this doesn’t happen . I was too afraid to tell anyone because I was afraid they would think I was crazy. I pushed this event back and did not think about it until 6 month later when I met this man. He was exactly like I saw him and he even said what the voice told me he would say to me word for word. I was in complete amazement. I remember making the promise to GOD to follow through and I did so. I tried very hard over the course of 6 years to help this man. He had a lot of problems and we were in out of a relationship and the last time we got together was when I had the NDE like experience.

Fourth experience 

My NDE-like experience happened when I was 40 years old. I was back together with this man (Phillip). I remember that I was at a low point because no matter what I did Phillip kept going back to his old ways even though he told me that he had found GOD – yeah right – things kept happening to him that I am sure GOD created to show him that he need to spend time with me, but instead Phillip kept hanging out with his friends. I remember nights just crying myself to sleep asking GOD to please take me home because I could no longer take this anymore.

One night when I was at my deepest despair as I prayed to GOD to take me home I suddenly fell asleep and the next thing I knew I am in a place surrounded in white light. I looked around and realized that this light was like the light in my bedroom years ago. It was at this point I realized that I knew this place – I was “HOME" I also realized that I no longer had a body - and the feeling of pure JOY was so wonderful because I was able to feel joy without being bound in a body. I can’t explain it in words how this feeling felt – when you are free of the body feelings are felt in the fullest . It was at this point I realize that this place was “THE REALITY” . I kept saying to myself “ they must being showing me this because I am going to die and they did not want me to be afraid.” Well I am still here so I know that wasn’t it J. ”

I started to look around and saw beings of different colors huddled in a group talking amongst themselves. They were nether male or female. One of them I remember was a soft olive green color and this being was holding a staff. I thought to myself that these being don’t have eyes, ears, mouths or hands and they are conversing how can this be. I decided to see what color I was, so I stretched a part of me out and saw that I was a very vibrant plasmic hot pink. I remember laughing because this was a color I would not be comfortable wearing here on Earth.

The next thing I knew I was being pulled into the light and gosh what an utterly wonderful experience. This light went into me and bathed me in PURE PURE PURE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. I became part of it and it showed me that we needed to look not with our eyes but with our hearts. We need to love selflessly and to do it often. To be compassionate and understanding and to look beyond what we see – to see with our hearts. We are all connected – we know each other. We (All things) are all of this LOVING light. It was too beautiful and wonderful, I did not want to leave. I felt myself being pulled toward the group of beings that I saw earlier. I was being pulled into an area that was like an opening of some kind – when I was above the opening I was scared that I was going to fall down through it. I just floating there when I saw another being rushing up toward me.

I was being pulled toward this being that was the color of royal purple. I heard a name of this being (“Kevin”) and I heard the olive green being say to me telepathically “This is the one you will be with next”. I thought to myself – you want me to be with my ex-brother-in-law – that was the only “Kevin” that I knew at that time. As this being drew closer it realized that this was a different person. When we embraced it was so wonderful. It felt like 10 billion fireworks of love energy exploding all around and in me. Pure ecstasy. It was Love unbounded. That is the best way that I can describe it. Nothing that we can experience on earth even comes close to this feeling. I did not want to let go of this being. (When I get back “home” I can’t wait to embrace everyone). The next thing I knew I was in long hall where one end went on forever. I saw a throne and a being sitting on it. I could not look up to see it’s face because I knew not to. I was bouncing all over the place because I knew that I was in the presence of GOD. I kept saying to myself “OH MY GOD ITS GOD” over and over again. As I started to calm down I heard the voice of GOD.

I can’t describe it other than that it was alive. I knew that God could end everything on Earth with just one word it felt that powerful. This voice was powerful and you knew it. I was so humbled I felt so small ,so insignificant yet so loved. This voice came from up above me – it was like God showed me a body on a throne so that I would have something to grasp as all this was happening. He asked me how I thought things were going with Phillip and I said he was doing good (yeah right) . God then said “Tell me how he is really doing” Like I could fool God so I told him that things were not good at all. God then asked me what I would think would happen if God took me away from him. At this point I am thinking that God intends to have me come “Home” and I said that if I was to die Phillip would lose it completely. God then said “Well I think I know my son better than that” He went on to say that what was important was that Phillip needed to have him in heart 100 percent and that he will have to take things over. He asked me if that would be OK. I agreed.

God then asked me “what do you want” – I couldn’t believe it – here I have been given the greatest gift off all to know of heaven and to understand that we don’t die and God wants to know what I want. All I could think of was that I wanted to have my kids here also.

Once I told him this the next thing I know awoke with a sudden start in bed. I wanted to run and yell to everyone that I had gone to heaven and WE DON’T DIE. Reality sunk in that if I did this everyone would think I was crazy. I have to tell you that I was on cloud 9 for months and I had the biggest smile on my face. I knew . I eventually told my 3 kids, I have told parts of my story to a few people but never the whole story for fear that other would think that I was crazy. Being in the light has changed me in that I have become even more compassionate, understanding and loving then I was before this happened. I have not become a religious person but I have become very spiritual. I have begun discovering the Buddhist philosophy. I think Buddha had a NDE-Like experience as well. 

The relationship with Phillip ended and I saw events enfold that showed me where I needed to be next. I got laid off and I got an job opportunity to work in Louisville KY. I knew that I had to come here. What I didn’t know was that I had a cousin here. I saw how God had arranged me to move down here and he made sure that I had a relative here to help me. I told my cousin when I got down here that I knew that I was going to meet someone here and that someone was Kevin.

Fifth Experience:

I had another NDE-Like experience two or three weeks before I meet Kevin. I knew I was back in heaven but in a place surrounded in snowcapped mountains like in Switzerland. I remember playing in the snow with a man in his mid to late twenties. I was not able to see what he looked like but I knew his age range and that he loved Switzerland. When I awoke I was again on cloud 9 for days. A few weeks later I then received an email from a man named Kevin and he told me his age which was 28 and as we conversed I learned that he loved Switzerland. Anyway as our friendship developed I asked him this question “If our souls were different colors what color would mine be” he answered “That’s easy Hot Pink”. I have not shared these experiences with him so he didn’t have a clue yet he knew. How amazing how this whole thing works. Kevin and I will always be friends. I kept seeing a word in my head “Maytra” and when I asked him what this word meant he said that it was Sanskrit and that it meant “Male Friend” COOL. I am assuming that God wants me to be his friend and I will surely be this for him as long as he needs me and that he does know.

Well that’s all - oh yeah since I saw the light of GOD in my bedroom I haven’t aged like most people – I age more slowly – more gracefully J. It is so cool to look at people and to know that we are so much more than the sum of our parts and that we know each other and we are here to love one another on our human journey.

Living in Gods Grace

Kathy O

 Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

It is hard to put into words the Unconditional LOVE that was felt.  Words are just too limiting.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I was very alter and conscious of what was happening to me

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No I was very consciousness - I felt more alive then I ever have been in my entire life

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

When I was in the light I started to dissolve and if I had stayed in it longer I was have joined with it completely.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           I heard the light talking to me about what I need to concentrate on and tell others to do to help them.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No

Did you see a light?           Yes

Oh yes this is most incredible light.  It was so bright and it was filled with Love energy.  You knew that this light was where you came from and where you will go back to when your life on earth is over,

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes

I saw a group of different colored beings.  I recognized one right away.  This being was a soft olive green color and holding a staff.  I knew this being was once Moses.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes

It so important that we see with ones heart and not with ones eyes.  We need to live in the NOW and to love selflessly and to do it often.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           Yes

I was in a very long hall with one end going on forever and the other end was a huge throne with the figure of GOD.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

Time does not exist in the light.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

Our purpose is to grow in our compassion and to learn to love ourselves and others here on earth as we do in heaven.  The goal is to reflect back to GOD our love in human form.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

I more sensitive to peoples sorrows and I know how to talk to them.  I am able to hear and receive messages from the angels.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

Yes I now know that there is a GOD and that we don't die - we will be and continue to be.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I am now a practicing Buddhist.  I seek others who are spiritual.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

yes I am doing much more service work and seeking others out that are spiritual and reading Eastern religions - Buddhist, Hindu Sft, Gnostic etc.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

I have shared it with selective others.  Mostly to those that have had a similar experience.  These people are very accepting.  When I share my experience to everyday people they think that I am just telling them a story. 

When I share my experience to love ones that are going thru a loss of some one they love they express joy that their is life after death.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  I felt extreme emotions of JOY.  I smiled for months.  At the same time I felt so very sad because I knew where "Home" is and I have to wait to go back.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best part was being joined with another soul - that was the most beautiful experience to feel the depth of love that we have for each other.  The worst part is that I have to wait to go back.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        We are souls and our bodies are just the clothing that our souls wear during this life.  Each event in our lives that cause us loss and sorrow is there to help us grow.  It is only when we suffer do we reach inward and learn to become compassionate human beings.  We need to look for GOD inside ourselves because that is where GOD is.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes