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Bua's SMR

At the age of 19, at a college party, I kissed a 21 yr old. Jamaican male while I was intoxicated. Later we started seeing each other and I found out he had a girlfriend. So, I decided not to see him anymore. He told he would break up with his girlfriend of four years. I refused because in my mind I believed that if he cheated on his girlfriend he would do the same with me. I lost touch with him for maybe 1-1 1/2 years when he showed up at my door. We went out to eat and discussed our past, as well as the present.

He disclosed to me that he had a NDE, where he saw us in our past lives.

He said that we belonged together. When he disclosed this information, I felt overwhelmed and found it difficult to believe. I had a NDE myself around the age of 10, so I believed his experience. However, not ready to hear such a story. More than anything, I fought it. As friends, he always reassured me that he will always be there for me. He said, "One day, you will come home." I thought he was crazy and really puzzled at his confidence. Though we didn't stay in touch the whole time due to my serious relationships, once a year, he would call or we would go out to eat. He would tell me that he loved me and that he is waiting for me to come home, yet knowing I am not ready. This went on for 9 years and the whole time, I was afraid. Recently, I ended a 2 year relationship. The instance I was thinking about him, his best-friend called me. I answered the phone, instead to hear his voice on the other end. I felt overwhelmed, feeling as if he just read my mind. He came over and we went out to eat the very same night. I told him that I wasn't looking for any relationship at the moment.

I wanted to do a one year spiritual retreat - making it the year of my freedom. He respected that and I asked that if he wanted to hang out that it would be great because all I am in need of is a friend. He agreed and we started hanging out more often. More than we ever did in the past nine years. I met him for lunch on a Monday for one hour. The weirdest feeling occurred within me. As I left him, I felt intoxicated, drunk, and high with this blissful feeling. I yearned for his presence. I became really confused because I haven't been intimate at all with him. The feeling puzzled me greatly. It caught me off guard because I did not expect this to happen. The next day we hung out, he told me to touch his face. I did and he asked me, "Does it feel wrong?" I didn't really know what to say. I was still scared, holding back it seemed. After he left, I started feeling the same blissful experience all over again. Then a vision flashed while I was feeling this tremendously overwhelming feeling. I saw two specks of light in this deep space, understanding those lights to be two souls searching for each other through space and time. After I had my vision, I broke down and cried because all types of realizations flooded my head. I realized many things I couldn't deny at that very moment. This whole time, I was searching for my mate unconsciously. One mate and even asked nature to bring him to me. Everything he said to me in the past came back to my mind.

"When are you coming home to me?" I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else? etc. He was my soulmate and I didn't even know it - right

underneath my nose and even he knew it. Then I remembered a poetry I

wrote in 2004. The poetry is entitled "My Lover Must Exist"

Here is the Poem: "My Lover Must Exist"

My Lover Must Exist

Even though I feel my standards are so extreme There is only one true man for me Out there, somewhere

Therefore, if you are my true love.....

I have asked the sky

With its shifting clouds to find you

I have asked the gentle breezes to direct you And the earth to guide you

I imagine you to be tall and handsome

Gorgeous smile adorned with beautiful white teeth Your body of chiseled artwork Covered with taut, dark skin

Honesty and faithfulness are you crown my king Followed by loyalty and sincerity You will be envied for you goodness and kindness Strongly apparent in your being Also strength and high intelligence

This is the companion I desire

He will set my heart on fire

Never feeling tired

We are completely one

One in mind and spirit

Any life events or people in our life

We will endure

A mutual respect, love, and honor

As one, we will conquer

But then, am I in reality?

Could there be such a man??

Especially a man with all these great qualities?

Or am I dreaming?

You see my lover must exist

Even though I feel my standard are so extreme There is only one true man for me Out there somewhere.......

If I am here, he must exist!!

This man fits a lot of this description, in fact the closest as long as I have come to know him. It seemed that I was the one who wasn't ready for him until now. We are dating seriously and when my one year spiritual retreat is up, I know and accept that we will be together. If I understand twin flame correctly, does that make him my twin flame?? Additionally, according to our tree of life (kabalistic tree & astrology) Our soul triad are mirror images of each other. We are taking it slowly since I am trying to be celebate for one year and it has only been 3 months. I can only imagine what this relationship will be when it becomes full blown. It amazing that he is from Jamaica - one end of the world and I am from Fiji - the other end of the world and we find each in a little town in the U.S.

Then I wrote a poetry after I had my vision entitled "Is that you?"

Is that really you?

My love, my king, my warrior

In front of me

For years I have longed for you

Dreamt of you

Imagined you

Is that really you?

My love, my king, my warrior

Face to face

Feeling the softness of your skin against my hand Could it be true?

For years I have searched for you

Wondering

Reaching

Asking where you are

Are you really here?

I am afraid

For I need to know it is you

Though nature points me to you

It is too good to be true

As your presence leaves

I feel intoxicated

Drunk

Yearning for you

What has come over me?

Thoughts swimming

Spirit refreshed

Your energy penetrating

Overwhelming

My ego questions you

Is that really you?

My love, my warrior, my king

If it is you, then

Set me free my love

Unchain my spirit

Open my mind

Liberate my heart

Only you are capable

My love, my warrior, my king

I want to surrender

Succumb

Only to you

Is that really you?

My love, my king, my warrior