Julie's SMR

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Experience description: 

I loved reading your definitions of soul mates.  It seemed everything I had heard was about perfect contentment.  I have a partner that is in many ways very opposite of me.  I am impulsive and very excitable.  I love looking at all spiritual things.  He is very conservative, tending towards negative but highly emotional and intuitive.  I on the other hand am very positive tending to see things in a more positive light.  When we first met, I would have never dreamed we would end up spending the next 14yrs together (the last 10 as a couple.)  He was married and we worked together.  We were good friends, but the thought of romance was the furthest thing from my mind.  After his divorce, we continued our friendship, but it was based on very selfish interests.  He would tell me how "twisted" I was, because I lead a very fast paced life.  One time during our friendship years, he made a comment, "I know this sounds strange, but I know we are going to end up together".  I just thought, yeah right, in your dreams!!  But slowly it turned it to a very difficult and tumultuous relationship.  Over the years we had a son together.  I began to realize that he was a very important part of my spiritual growth, as I was for his.  What I jumped into head 1st, he resisted like a mule.  I have many times wanted to leave him because of his negative attitude. 

But with all my heart, I know that I would only have to repeat these lessons with him.  I KNOW that we are together by preplan.  He has grown a great deal and so have I because of our conflicting relationship.  Somewhere between us is the right balance.  I see us moving towards that evenness each year.  We get along better now than we ever have, although it is still up and down.  There has always been an energy between us that is very strong.  When he touches me, I can physically feel this energy.  He feels it to.  Many of my friends (spiritual) have told me to leave him, he is holding me back.  But a very wise and very spiritual friend told me that having him in my life gives me the greatest opportunity to work on my on tolerances and advancements.  She understood that the lessons and dances in this play we are in most helpful if they require us to change and see things in a more "detached" way.  I know I have not explained this well, but I wanted to say thank you for your comments.  This man is the love of my life and the thorn in my side.  I am grateful to him (well most of the time!) for being in mine.