A day before my NDE, I went to see my doctor, because I was having problems sitting. When he examined my rectum, he found a very large abscess. I was immediately sent to a surgeon who scheduled me to have an operation the following day. That night, as I was lying in bed, I felt my spirit leave my body and I could see myself lying on the bed. The experience scared me so I tried to rouse my husband, but he did not wake.
The next day, I was in my bathroom giving myself enemas in preparation for my rectal surgery and I noticed blood in the toilet. As I got up, I became very tachycardia [Tachycardia is a heart rate that exceeds the normal range] and very fearful, for I felt like my body was dying. I got very short of breath and I knew I was going to die. I started to pray because I didn't want my children to find me dead in the bathroom, and then I felt this sensation come over me, as though, if I just let go, I could die, and I felt very much at peace. Even so, I decided I would not give in and I thought if I lay in the bathtub, I could relax and not get so excited. So I got into the bathtub and as I was lying there, I felt my spirit, once again, leave my body and I could see myself sitting in the tub. This, again, really freaked me out and I climbed out of the tub, because I didn't want my children to find me dead in the tub. I crawled to the phone and called my neighbor and asked her to please come over and help me get dressed. She came over and I was weak but I felt okay, so I walked downstairs, with her help.
Next, my father-in-law came over to take me to have my surgery. When I was in the Outpatient Surgery Center, they attempted to start me on an intravenous drip, but were having difficulty doing so. Then they put a blood pressure cuff on my arm, however it would not register. I laughed and told the nurse it must be some malfunction. When the anesthesiologist came in, I had this need to tell him to not let me die. I remember he looked at me like I was crazy. I was taken into the operating room and as they put the monitor on me, I saw the heart rhythm V-Tach [Ventricular tachycardia is a fast heart rhythm, originating in one of the ventricles of the heart, and is a potentially life-threatening arrhythmia]. I then looked at the blood pressure monitor and saw my blood pressure was 40 and dropping. The anesthesiologist became very upset and started to run around the room, then all of a sudden, my spirit left my body, and it felt like I was sucked out of my body like a vacuum.
My spirit soared out of the hospital and into the universe. I mean it felt like "Star Trek"! My spirit was traveling very fast and I saw the earth below me and I seemed to be amidst the stars. Then I heard a "thump" and I landed in this very cloudy place, and the people I saw were all dead people whom I, as a nurse, had once cared for. They welcomed me and were all smiling. They parted, and coming towards me was my father who had died six months prior. I remember how happy I was because I loved my dad so much and he had died. My father smiled at me and held my hand and led me to a tunnel.
The tunnel seemed to move slowly back and forth, and when I arrived in front of it, a bright light shone upon me and I felt no pain, and this incredible love that radiated inside of me. I walked into the tunnel and standing in the middle of the tunnel was a figure dressed in white with long hair, and his back was to me. I felt incredible love coming from this person and I just knew that if he turned and looked at me, I would be dead. Beyond this man, was an incredible place. The colors were interactive and alive. It seemed like a paradise, except the colors were alive and the rocks and sky and grass and water all seemed to be so very beautiful and they seem to all interact with each other.
I saw my life flash before me like a rapid motion picture movie, and I saw all the good things and all the bad things that I had done in my entire life. Then, I heard three voices. They said, “You can stay or you can leave". And I thought to myself, I can stay or I can leave? And I said, "I am not good enough to be here", and the voices said, "Oh, but you are". The voices were so tender and the thought of staying seemed so pleasing to me, and I wanted to stay with my dad, but I suddenly felt this tugging at my shoulders. It seemed to be pulling at me, and I knew instantly that it was the prayers of my family, my children... and immediately I said, "I gotta go!”.
In that moment, I shot out of that tunnel, and soared through the universe. I heard a "thump" and I was back in my body. And leaning over me was my doctor who said, "Anne, why didn't you tell me you were so sick? You had a cardiac arrest, we resuscitated you and performed your surgery without anesthesia, but you are probably going to die, for you are in septic shock. And I replied, "Oh no, doctor. I was in heaven and I got to come back, so I won't die".
I was very sick for six months and had a total of five surgeries and I got septic many times, but I survived.Background Information:Gender: FemaleDate NDE Occurred: February 1997NDE Elements:At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes IllnessSurgery-related Clinical death I had a cardiac arrest on the operating table and was told after my NDE that I would die, for I was in septic shock, but I didn't die, I lived.How do you consider the content of your experience? MixedThe experience included: Out of body experienceDid you feel separated from your body? Yes I felt my spirit was separate from my body, for it was my spirit that left my body.At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I felt very alert.Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I felt I was in another dimension. I felt I was in heaven.Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? I just heard the "thumps" of my spirit leaving and entering my body. I heard the three voices in the tunnel and all else seemed through mental telepathy.Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I got into the middle of the tunnel only then when I chose to come back to earth, I left immediately.The experience included: Presence of deceased personsDid you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw all these dead patients I had cared for in my life as a nurse, and I saw my dad who had died, and I saw the being in the middle of the tunnel, who I perceived as Jesus.The experience included: LightDid you see an unearthly light? Yes I saw a light in front of the tunnel, it was much like a giant spotlight, that took all pain away, and gave pure love.Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I saw paradise on the other side of the tunnel, the most beautiful place.What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was at first afraid, but then elated and comforted.The experience included: Special KnowledgeDid you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I felt I found the secret of the universe, which is to love beyond reach and measure.The experience included: Life reviewDid scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I saw my entire life flash before me, all good and bad experiences. I learned that we must love above all things in this life. And our actions are accountable by our minute-to-minute responses to one another and that our lives are so very interdependent upon one another and one life is very important in the cycle of life. I learned that suicide is the unpardonable sin against humanity for life is so very special, to be revered, and should not be taken for granted. Suffering is needed for higher attainment, and that above all things we are here on earth to love and be loved. I learned that a simple smile, a kind word or acknowledgement can change the course of person's life. I was given a gift of insight, visions, and spiritual awareness of what the universe is made of.Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I was made aware that I would survive this ordeal.Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was given a choice to stay or leave, and I felt the pulling of my family to come back to my body, so I chose to leave.God, Spiritual and Religion:What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist What is your religion now? Liberal Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes My entire perception about life has changed for the positive.The experience included: Presence of unearthly beingsAfter the NDE:Was the experience difficult to express in words? No Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I can read the thoughts of others sometimes, I can see inside others - good and bad. I have found that the electrical conductivity of my body has changed; if I am very upset I have been locked inside my car, copy machines have gone haywire. I cannot wear watches for long periods of time for they stop. I have had visions that have come true. I can communicate sometimes with people who have died. I have discernment. At first, I would get very agitated being around crowds, for their energy would agitate and upset me.Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Best part that I know life exists after death, worst part is I am different now, and sometimes I feel rather alone, like I do not fit in.Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes After my experience, many people came into my room to hear about this experience, and many said they were profoundly changed. Some are skeptical. Some people have a deeper commitment to loving others.At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It really happened and I am forever changed.
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