Vivian's NDE

Experience description: 

In July of 1983 I was in University Hospital in Augusta, Georgia after being admitted with a diagnosis of "onset of multiple sclerosis". This was later ruled out, and it was decided that I had an illness called "sydenham's chorea"which older folks among us will know as "St. Vitus' Dance", a disease common in the earlier half of the 1900's. It had actually started many years earlier with a case of strep throat left untreated, proceeded to Rheumatic Fever, (which I didn't realize at the time it happened) then to the neurologic problems.

At any rate, I was in the hospital with the wonderful doctors trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with me. I was extremely upset and stressed on the verge of panic to even be there, I had an 18 month old baby who was staying with friends while I was ill and I missed her terribly. My roommate was in a coma. I strongly felt that I wasn't sick enough to be taking up a bed that someone else probably needed. I wanted to go home. The problem with that was that I couldn't hold my own child or take care of any of my own needs because I could not control my arms or legs, which never stopped me from driving the nursing staff crazy by continually attempting to get out of bed without assistance.

On one of these occasions, I guess I lost consciousness when I got out of bed and stood up-all I know is that suddenly I was in a very long, dark tunnel moving very rapidly toward a very large, bright light that radiated love. I could hear beautiful, high pitched wind chimes, and I could hear angels singing; legions of angels. They were singing the Doxology. The light was Christ, and I was fully aware of that at the time. I experienced a life review in the tunnel which showed me experiences in my life where I had expressed unconditional love and giving toward others-and they were things I had done that were seemingly so small and inconsequential at the time that they were forgotten.

Then all of a sudden, I was hurled backwards as if pulled by a giant rope. I closed my eyes and heard a woman calling my name over and over. When I opened my eyes, it was a nurse, and I was lying on the floor. Apparently I had fainted.

They got me up and helped me to bed. But the person who they helped up was not the same person who fell there, in many, many ways.

I never told anyone what happened until 2 years later because I didn't understand myself what had happened. People closest to me accepted what had happened to me wholeheartedly because there was nothing else that could explain the extent of change that had occurred in me over the two years between when this happened and when I finally, emboldened by the info in Moody's book, shared it with them.

 Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

It was too beautiful for words.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Uncertain

I was in the hospital and was acutely ill, but there was no reason to think that death was imminent. Admitting diagnosis was "onset of Multiple Sclerosis" because of the clinical presentation (loss of fine motor control with the recent visual loss in a 22 year old female; a pretty classic presentation) But I was ruled out for MS in favor of another disease that is also not usually considered life threatening.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Occurred during a fainting episode-I was unconscious.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No, not at all.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           Yes-beautiful, tinkling chimes. And huge choirs of angels singing the Doxology. I have a friend, also a nurse, who heard choirs of angels also, but they were singing another hymn.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes

            Describe:      I passed through a dark tunnel toward a huge, beautiful light.

Did you see a light?           Yes

The light was very large and beautiful, and I knew that the light was Christ. It radiated love and peace.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes

When I experienced life review, all I was shown was anything I had ever done that was motivated by pure love and charity-most of these things I had long forgotten. What I learned was that loving others is all that matters.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No

I didn't get that far...

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

Though I had been mildly clairvoyant up until age 13, after this experience I began to experience empathic gifts, which developed slowly and fully over the years following.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

Complete. Before this experience, I didn't even believe that Christ existed. Afterward, I became one of those very lucky people for whom religious conviction is not based on faith, but on direct knowledge and experience. I began attending church-Unity, and was active there for many years. I am not actually sure if this is considered a moderate or liberal church. At the time of this writing, I am in the process of converting to Catholicism.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       It affected every aspect of my life for the rest of my life. I became a different person, almost overnight. I was not a very good person when became ill, and this experience changed everything. These changes never faded or changed over time.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

I became deeply religious as a result of this experience, not according to the dogma of any church, but in my absolute, unshakable faith in God and in divine order.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

A few people were influenced. Most people treat you like you're nuts. Most nurses (my colleagues) automatically believe you because they deal with death so much, and because frankly, they have had lots of experiences surrounding patient deaths that science does not easily explain to them. For example, I have seen several patients whose conditions were rapidly worsening suddenly begin to hold long conversations with persons not present. Nurses I know call this "talking to angels" and it is associated with patients who are expected to die within 24 hours or so.