Tonya Z's NDE

Experience description: 

I was hit by a car on a pedestrian crossing.  I came to the realization of what was happening once I saw my own body.  I saw it from the viewpoint of the corner of the room, away from the accident site. I was unconscious at the time.

For the first few seconds of the NDE I felt that I was accepted there. Warmth, immense love, and an incredible feeling of wisdom surrounded me. It felt like I had arrived home from somewhere. I felt that I was given an opportunity to stay in that space.  

However, as soon as I realized what had happened, I panicked and allowed fear to pervade my whole soul. Amazingly with no body, I still had a voice. I shouted with such powerful force and in such terror "this is a mistake!" (that I remember vividly).  It was at this point that I felt there was a distinctive repulsion of these fearful feelings within the contrasting wisdom that surrounded me. (Throughout this seemingly short experience, I feel that I had my back to something and was looking the whole time down at my body.)  I was not in harmony with the surroundings, perhaps immature. I felt that I was sent away. I feel that I did not choose to come back. 

I regained consciousness as I was being carried out towards the ambulance. My feeling is that it was possible that my heart had stopped and that possibly the fright of seeing my own body may have started it again. I can not verify this idea as this was never monitored.

The experience was both one of a moment of true warmth, wisdom and happiness and at the same time one of emotional trauma for me.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  No

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  No

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Uncertain

      Describe:  Possibly the serious injuries from being hit by a car.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  Extremely alert and fully conscious of what was happening.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  Not at all. Very vivid even after 20 yrs have passed.

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  Yes

Describe your appearance or form apart from your body:  I was looking down at my body from the vantage point of the corner in a doctors room.  My body was being looked over by the ambulance personnel, it was lying on the doctors examination table. I was lying face up, although I only saw the torso and lower half of my body, as an ambulance man was obscuring the view of my upper-body.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  Repeating as explained above in question 4; For the first few seconds I felt that I was accepted there. Warmth, immense love, and an incredible feeling of wisdom surrounded me. It felt like I had arrived home from somewhere. I felt that I was given an opportunity to stay in that space and it gave me an honest insight into my character. It was during this experience that I discovered the incredible fear in my soul. This being in too much contrast to the surroundings, I felt a distinctive repulsion of my fearful feelings by the surrounding energy at the time. I felt that in being sent away, I had failed my self. I think that if I had not been fearful, I actually would have wanted to stay there.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  No

      Describe:  No, but I had the distinct feeling that there was something behind me, I never had time to turn around and look.

Did you see a light?  No

      Describe:  No, however it could have possibly been behind me.

Did you meet or see any other beings?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I definitely felt their presence around me, it was powerful, but did not see them as I was too occupied looking down at my body in shock.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  Yes

      Describe:  I went back some years later to the doctors room where I was at the time of the NDE and could remember the layout of the room, having never been in it previously, only when unconscious at the accident time. (obviously only self-verified). 

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I do not understand the question sorry. (dimensions?)

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Uncertain

      Describe:  Not sure what "altered space" refers to.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  Yes, I understood from the experience at that young age that you take with you when you die the feelings which you have now and I also felt at the time that we, alone, are the judge of ourselves, that life is what you make of it and I understood the importance of ones emotional state whilst you are alive.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  Yes

      Describe:  Yes. The boundary was for me, my own fear. To cross over was to accept and to be in harmony with this new environment.

Did you become aware of future events?  No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  Yes

      Describe:  Yes. I believe that through my fear, I was encouraged/sent back to my body.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  No

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  Yes. A bigger picture. A total change of perspective on life, death and society. Ongoing work on my fear issue.

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  At this moment in time, it has manifested into confusion and I am seeking to find some clarity again- hard for me to answer right now.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  Yes, the reactions were of genuine interest, but not influenced in any way I think.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  indestructible, crystal clear clarity of a larger picture, however confusion of how to deal with this experience, sadness.  An overall feeling of privilege to have experienced all of this.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  The knowledge of a bigger picture of life, the wisdom and warmth was the best. The fear I felt was the worst.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  No

 Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?  Yes

      Describe:  Did you learn anything that helped you live your life after the experience?  Yes, I think I am only now trying to put it into practice.  Yes. It has changed the way I look at everything now, how I treat others, how I must grow within my-self, keeping a view of the bigger picture.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes

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