Tom S's NDE

Experience description: 

I was diagnosed with an injury, but it turned pneumonia. The doctor at the time didn't give me anything for infection. By the time I went for a second opinion, my right lung had collapsed. My oxygen level in my blood dropped very low. I went to a second doctor that put me in the hospital immediately. I was almost dead.  I was in the first hospital for a  week just to be told there was nothing they could do for me because i was so far advanced. They shipped me to a bigger hospital. The time it took my wife to sign me in, the doctors were putting chest tubes in to drain the fluid out of my (right) lung. We were told if this didn't work, i would have to go through emergency surgery. After 13 hours of the chest tubes, not enough was draining. I went into surgery for 10 1/2 hours. My wife and mother was told I had a very hard time of it. The doctors took my right lung out, cleaned off the infection, inflated the lung and put it back in me, and hoped for the best.

In the intensive care unit (icu) my oxygen kept dropping. I looked at my wife and said I don't feel good and she said no kidding, I said no I really feel bad. At this point I had my experience.

It has changed me greatly..

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Uncertain

i was in surgery.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes, it has changed everything i once believed in, mainly religion.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I knew what was going on and heard the bells go off.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   no, not to me.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

it was like a pop. Or a sucking feeling. Once i felt that, there was no more pain..

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           no

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes

            Describe:      But, it was more like a funnel of a tornado. The feeling of love was coming from the funnel.

Did you see a light?           Yes

The light was around me.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes

Hard to explain. My father had passed away about a year earlier, i felt him more than saw him. His mother, my grandmother was there but so were people i felt i knew but didn't. I felt very close to them.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Yes

I feel that church is a joke, "I THINK" I don't know anymore. I was brought up in the church, but now things are different. When we pass, we are going to feel everything we did to others. If i said something that hurt somebody, i felt the hurt the other person felt. The same if I helped somebody or made them happy by listening, i felt that to. It doesn't matter if you went to church or not. What I feel matters is the kind of person that you are. Greedy, Selfish, everything you can think of, you are going to feel.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain

I think so. When I woke up in the icu, I told my wife and mother that I didn't want to be here, I meant here, being alive. My mother asked what I meant by that and I think I did my best to explain it to her. My wife asked me about it later and then I did explain it to her. It upset her but it is how I felt.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           Yes

COLORS....... just colors and the feeling of love.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

To me, I was there for a while. Well that's not right either. That is so hard to explain..

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

I know I'm here for something and I think i knew it at one point but not now.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain

I was (this is going to sound stupid) kind of told it isn't my time yet because i have a lot to do yet. At this time my wife and I had one child, a boy, after all this and i was in a semi private room, my wife told me we were going to have another baby. So it wasn't that I could or could not have gone further, something was pulling on me and it was up to me to go on or stop there, but not go back. I felt as if it was up to me. I think it was the love i have  for my wife and son that stopped me, because i started to think of them.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       Uncertain

Kind of, I didn't want to return to all that pain but it was something I had to do. HAD TO because I at that time, knew I would be coming back to do something. I have tried to think over the years what it was but can't remember.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

Yes.. After leaving the hospital i heard voices in my head .. I really thought I was going crazy. The voices were loud and I couldn't get rid of them. I just about locked myself away. I would get bad headaches. They got real bad around emotionally charged times. It got to the point I couldn't go shopping for Christmas gifts. That time was the worst time for me. Family gatherings were out. It is something you can't shut off. It's not so bad now because I have learned to ignore it. But some times it's right there. I played with it a little, but it bothered me after a while. My head would start to hurt. I told a friend some things about himself that there was no way I could have known. It really freaked him out because I was right. He said he never told anybody that before, not even his wife. But I was right. Little things like that.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

Most definitely, my wife says I'm like a different person. I didn't care about people or what they thought. I didn't care about anything, I was going through the steps but nothing mattered.. Not her, family, I was a very mean person.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       Relationships... People call to talk to me, to get my opinion. It drives my wife crazy sometimes. People care what I have to say.

Daily life... My entire outlook is better. I can deal with people better.

Religion ... I feel it is a joke. It doesn't matter if you go to a building or not, it depends on the kind of person you are.

Career... nothing. I still drive a tractor trailer.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

I and I have been told I'm a better person now.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Uncertain

I have tried, but it is so hard. People want to understand but  they can't. People want to know more but it isn't that easy for me to tell them. I get emotional sometimes and it makes it that much harder for me.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  too many to list. I went through a lot, I think my wife thought i was going crazy. Mostly confused.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      WORST.. I had to come back into that body full of the pain. I had to suffer like nothing I could ever put into words.