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TJ's NDE
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TJ's NDE |
Experience description:
I got brave and peeked through eyelashes to see a light growing closer...
not really a tunnel so much as a dark void...not small or confined...
At the bright light, There was an edge, the motion stopped and I reached into the light, my eyes quickly grew accustomed to the brightness and I could see a big long grassy field. Trees grew at the edge in the distance and I could hear water forma running stream. A low cobble stone wall separated two parts of the field. On my side of the wall was a dirt path and didn't have to walk along it. I heard children laughing in the distance, and they came into view on the other side of the wall. they were chasing and kicking a ball with dots on it. they were each getting a turn and the "game" seemed like everyone got to play. I could feel their joy like a physical thing, and it was contagious...
I heard a loving voice inside my head ask me, "Do you know who these children are?" And suddenly I could say "yes" because I knew these were kids who had died young, too young. Maybe form accidents, maybe from abortions, or illness, but I knew they were special. They would be young and innocent of the world where I came from. they would not know struggle or fear or the other hardships that we know...for all eternity...they would be children. Loved, but young. Still, they were having such a good time, I wanted to jump in.
That wish was barely formed when steps appeared on the low wall. I knew I could cross the wall and join them...no questions, no one was left out... As I stepped to the top, a being of light, she/he almost floating in the clouds...appeared in my minds' eye and told me (in my thoughts) "It is not your time to cross. If you cross over, you cannot go back" at that instant another frame came into my mind, my sister was hovering over my body in the bed, crying and praying. she was covering me and begging god to send me back. I could sense and feel her pain, as easily as I could feel the children's joy. I wanted to stay and play, but I did not want her to suffer. I knew the entire family would miss me soooo much if I didn't come back. My in my heart I didn't want to give up the lightness...didn't want to go back to the heavy work ahead...wanted to stay and be a child...didn't care...but the being said, "Thank you for choosing" and whoosh...I settled back into the body and slowly sat up.
My sister went on about the mirror, how there was no pulse and no vapor on the mirror. My Mom and my other sister came in and sat next to us. I described what I had seen. Mom chalked up the "ball with dots" to be a soccer ball...but I had never seen or heard of a soccer game before. not even on TV.
Mom said,
"nice dream" and my other sister went back to doing whatever. My older sister
and I held each other. and I told her, "I came back so you wouldn't cry..."she
held me tighter and then of course we never spoke of it again.
Was the kind of experience
difficult to express in words?
No
At the time of this
experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
No
At what time during the
experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?
I was same level of "knowing and alertness" at all times. I was just living,
breathing like normal. the voices were mostly in my mind...where feelings and
knowledge happen. No change form earth to heaven or back and forth form body to
spirit.
How did your highest level of
consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every
day consciousness and alertness?
Normal consciousness and alertness
Did your vision
differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as
clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
No
Did your hearing
differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as
clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
Uncertain the "Realization" the "knowing"...it was not a
"process" like ears transmitting. It just "was and is" all at once
Did you experience a
separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What emotions did you feel
during the experience?
Lots. Just hesitant about unknown, joyful, loved, accepted, complete,
Peace
Did you pass into or through
a tunnel or enclosure?
Uncertain
It was dark because I held my eyes shut. bigger than a subway tunnel...seemed
to have no "Walls" just darkness...and more darkness...limitless...???
Did you see a light?
Yes As I rose higher I got closer to the "sunlight" the light wasn't a
dot...but as I got closer it eliminated the darkness, ...the light is hard to
describe,
if you go
out form a dark room on a sunny day, you get kind of "blinded" by it for a few
minutes...it was that kind of brightness...so I didn't see the edge of
dark...just saw more and more light...
Did you meet or see any other
beings? Yes I
saw special children... they were playing a game of kickball. Another "angel"
asked me if I knew who and what they were...and Gave me the knowledge that the
children had died young...illness, accidents or abortions. I also heard the
loving voice ( not sure who) and had two conversations with it. (about joining
in the game, and about my choice to go back or stay.)
Did you experience a review
of past events in your life?
No 3 years, too short to review? I did learn not to fear the blackness
most call "death" I learned much, as I glimpsed the children...not to feel
sorry for those that pass onward...they are living, and at peace for real...
Also I was 8 before I got to Read the bible, but all I learn I know if it is
true or not...when it brings love and peace it is the same love and peace from
heaven.
Did you observe or hear
anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be
verified later?
Yes I saw my sister below on earth, and heard the words she prayed exactly.
when I came to, I told her the words she said, and she turned so pale and white
faced. she didn't have to say, "How did you know?" I heard her form the thought
in her head and answered her before she could ask....it scared her for a long
while.
Did you see or visit any
beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?
Yes Saw a "ball playing field" it was outside the "city". heard the
River of Life and saw a few
trees that grew beside it as it flowed outward.
Did you have any sense of
altered space or time?
Yes It was an eternal rhythm...not hurried or rushed, but instant by instant
was full and passed as it would on a lazy summer afternoon out in the country...drip
by drip... it was not that time was fast or slow...but information...was
instantly there...guess if earth is like "dial up" with snags and delays, heaven
would be even faster than cable or DSL
Did you have a sense of
knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes On Earth we struggle to gain acceptance and approval. We want to
"connect" to others. up there...it is open like a book...nothing hidden. no
judgment, no looking down their noses...we just are who we are. not good and
bad or better and worse. We are and it is okay. We want what we want, no
guilt.
Did you reach a boundary or
limiting physical structure?
Yes At a low cobble stone wall, I saw steps leading up and over and down the
other side. I knew I could climb over it and join the kids playing on the other
side. It was a choice...but as I got to the top I was warned, if I went
over...I would not be able to come back...ever.
Did you become aware of
future events? Uncertain
I had a few deja-vu events and I had the need to be less stubborn,
need to give more than I take...be more obedient...less of a bother....
Did you have any psychic,
paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have
prior to the experience?
Yes Empathy, deja-vu (specific conversations and the like)
Have you shared this
experience with others?
Yes other than right away with my family....it was more than 12 years before
I told anyone...and they treat it like a "fairy-tale" not that I am insane, but
maybe I just had a nice dream
Did you have any knowledge of
near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
No
How did you view the reality
of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:
Experience was definitely real I walked, heard and saw it ... just like life
everyday. vivid and real
Were there one or several
parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?
How do you currently view the
reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real I just know, we are more than flesh and bone,
and our spirit will go back to the light when it is time.
Have your
relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Yes
I am more
sympathetic...more sensitive. I am accepting, the way the being of light was
to me...I want to spread the love and peace and joy I felt...so when I meet
someone sad or hut, I want to really lift them up and encourage them
Have your religious
beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I know heaven
exists. I know we cannot earn our way or buy or way in. I know that we will all
be welcomed...so I cannot go to a Baptist church or try to "evangelize" everyone
I meet. I know love and I need to share it.
Following the
experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No
Is there anything else you
would like to add concerning the experience?Is there anything else you would
like to add concerning the experience?
It is not the only time I
have been to heaven, but it is the only time I had
to stop breathing to get there. There were times I tried to stop breathing
again to go back, but I just don't seem to have that stubborn will power to do
that again...strange how at 3 I was bold and brazen, and at 34 timid and meek.
Did the
questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Uncertain
I guess the more you describe it, the more you remember...the more you think of
it the more details surface. this is only the 7th time I have described it.