Tina Probable NDE 4223

Tina Probable NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I was without a body as I floated down to a dry cracked lifeless plain that stretched on as far as I could see. The sky over head was a rumpled grey/black blanket of clouds going on forever overhead into the horizon on all sides. There was no rain, but I could feel it like it was about to. That electric tang in the air and all the light had gone like green glass before a really big thunderstorm. Down on the plain far below I saw 6 figures, 5 dancing around one stationary in the center.

I floated down in an instant like zipped down with no sense of air whooshing by, just outside this circle of dancers. They were dancing skeletons with rags and shreds of flesh on them. They were menacing a bit at me, but once I caught the eyes of the one in the center, all fear, all doubt dropped away.

This man had blonde hair and blue eyes, and was smiling, no really smirking at me. He seemed like a long lost friend who was going to say "I told you so." any minute. He was in plain black from neck to toe- like a turtleneck and plain pants and shoes, but I'm not sure about anything but his face and hands.

The dancers were dancing about him counterclockwise, so they were passing in front of me from left to right. Each one would growl or hiss at me as it passed, but kept on going along with the others.

The one in the center reached out his right hand, palm up to me. All sound stopped. All I cared about were his ironic intense blue eyes, his lopsided smirk, and his hand outstretched for mine. I floated through a gap in the dying dance surrounding him, and I reached out my right hand to his. Then I don't remember anything else; other than a wrenching, soul-crushing despair at being denied the offered bliss.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     I have a hard time communicating the belief that everything was going to be ok, if I had continued on with the experience. I believe I should not have been brought back, that it was a mistake. I have always felt this way.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     I overdosed on my mom's sleeping pills. I would call that life threatening.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    Just as I was about to touch the man in the center of the circle. Everything seemed both equally intense and far away. All that mattered was reaching him.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            Just as I was about to touch the man in the center of the circle. Everything seemed both equally intense and far away. All that mattered was reaching him.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)? Yes     I had no body, but I did seem to have a hand. I can't explain it but I could see everything all around me, above, all around. I could feel the irritation and soullessness of the 5 bodies around me, they were cranky dumb flesh beings falling apart but never allowed to rest. The one in the center had a hypnotic pull with his eyes, he was mocking me for something. Like I had lost a bet with him. Nothing evil, just like an old friend chiding you for doing something stupid and stubborn, and being warned about it, but doing it anyway.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Yes     I remember the guttural raspy sounds the 5 bone dancers made. Their shuffling feet and jingling of old tarnished jewelry they wore. The puffs of dust they kicked up was musty. The air tasted like lightning.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Curiosity, then calm recognition of the man in the center, then deep soul-wrenching loss and despair as I was denied reaching him.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No

Did you see a light?           Uncertain      The air looked like green bottle glass, or like the light under a deep forest on a sunny day, like the light goes green before a big thunderstorm.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     the 5 dancers were really cranky and tired. I don't know if they were outside of me or just my five physical senses failing. Like they were the ring keeping me from my own rest and joy.

The man in the center seemed like he was a mentor, he knew everything, and was about to give me that too. I just needed to merge with him.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No            I was about to but was yanked back to life.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     I zoomed down from the sky to the edge of the circle of dancers without feeling any rush of air, no time seemed to pass even though I was way up there.

The moment I was about to reach the man in black seemed hung suspended. Like I knew everything before and after the moment I would touch his hand. And not on a my life flashed before my eyes, but the beginning of the universe, zoomed up to the moment I would touch his hand, and the eternal peace of the release of the storm on the desert, the garden would grow forever beyond the bounds of life.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes     I felt an imminent sense of completion if only I could have been able to reach him. I feel only futility, longing, and loss in my life ever since this NDE.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain      I think the ring of dancers was a boundary of my 5 senses of the physical body. I did cross through easily, I passed between them. I knew everything was going to be ok.

Did you become aware of future events?       No


Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain      I am not comfortable talking about this but I have tried to find a path or teachers among wiccans, druids, quakers, and buddhists. I have dreams that warn me of things to come. I get a "gut instinct" about things. I don't know where it comes from or how to control/harness this. It is very frustrating and frankly, I've given up on trying to understand it anymore.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I shared it with my ex husband (at the time we were engaged I think) when his grandfather died. We were more than a little drunk, and he didn't know what to say about my NDE.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    No

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I kept having recurring dreams of it, where I would wake up screaming and crying in despair for what I had lost.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    I believe we should let people go with love. Don't force them to cling to dead flesh. There is something better "on the other side". Let them go.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real    I have had dreams of "black jack rabbit" ever since. He is a shape shifter and always teaching me with irony and sarcasm. Often without words, I just get the meaning from looking in his eyes. But in black, and blue eyes. And rabbits can smirk, btw.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     My bullshit meter is twitchy. I tend to dissappear, and become withdrawn from everyone if I encounter people that seem mean, spiteful, selfish, greedy, or unaware.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes     I don't really like life at all. It is like a waiting room, full of misery and sadness and a long march through pain to a usually long agonizingly painful end. Only if we let them go will all spirits find peace.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        People should be allowed to die when they want to, or when it is thier time. Doctors and family members should stay out of it, meddling torturers.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   Ask if the NDers like being alive after the NDE. Also actually put a "none" radio button to press for the religion questions at the top of the page.