Tammy L's NDE

Experience description: 

Hi, My name is Tammy L.  I'm not sure if this is a near death experience or not.  However it is very strange and I'll just have to let you be the judge. 

In 1995 I was in labor with my son. I was in my hospital room. My husband and a nurse were with me. I suddenly became very ill. I was hot and cold and clammy all at the same time. I felt a lot of pain, though it wasn't contractions. I hurt everywhere. I became very nauseous. I felt so strange.  I actually thought I was dying. I told my nurse that something was wrong. I remember her practically on top of me telling me to look at her and to breathe. I tried, but I felt so sick. I said  "I can't", and then there was total darkness.

Suddenly I was enveloped in a bright, white light. I felt perfect ness. It was the perfect temperature. The light was bright but it was not hot on my skin like sunlight, nor did it hurt my eyes. I was very aware of the transition from pain to feeling wonderful. I felt peace, great love ,joy. It seemed all my questions were answered. It's hard to describe the feeling of total utopia. I then realized that the light seemed to be shining through wall's of brick glass windows. I heard laughter and looked down to see a little child smiling up at me. It was a little girl who seemed to be about 4 yrs old. She had dark hair in a page boy style and the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. She didn't speak, but she seemed to convey the message that all was well and that she loved me.

I was suddenly back in my hospital bed. I heard my husband asking the nurse what had happened and she said that my blood pressure had completely bottomed out. I had my son later that day and everything was fine. I began trying to find out what I had experienced. I read a book about NDE that mentioned that experiencers have sometimes seen their future children during NDE.  I found the book they referred to.  There were some stories somewhat similar. I have had two more sons since my experience. I have longed for the child I saw. I feel that she was meant to come to me. However, as I have six sons and three daughters, my husband is unwilling.  It's been seven years since I had the experience and I'm still seeking answers.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience:  No

Was the experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

      What was it about the experience that makes it hard to communicate?  The feeling of perfect ness was so wonderful that I don't think it can be described with mere words.

At the time of the experience, was there an associated life threatening event?  Uncertain

      Describe:  My blood pressure was gone momentarily.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?  My body was unconscious. But I was very conscious and alert during this experience.

Was the experience dream like in any way?  No, I knew it wasn't a dream. I knew I had been very sick and then I was suddenly in a wonderful place and feeling well.

Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body?  No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?  peace, emotional well being, the greatest love, utopia, wonderment, joy. I cannot find the words to adequately describe it. No matter how hard I try, I'm never satisfied with my description.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?  just a child's laughter

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?  No

Did you see a light?  Yes

      Describe:  It was a brilliant, bright, white light. It was encompassing and caressing. It was not hot on my skin as sunlight is, nor did it hurt my eyes. It was the perfect temperature.

Did you meet or see any other beings?  Yes

      Describe:  A little girl. It seemed we were surrounded by brick glass walls through which the light was streaming. I don't think I knew her. She seemed to convey that all was well, and, perhaps, that we would meet again.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?  No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?  Yes

      Describe:  I was definitely somewhere other than my hospital room. I remember the light and the brick glass windows.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  Yes

      Describe:  It seemed like I was in this place a while but I couldn't have been. I could have stayed there forever.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  No

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I think the brick glass windows may have been a boundary.

Did you become aware of future events?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I think the little girl might possibly be a soul I've yet to meet on earth. I need some assistance figuring this one out. I feel strongly this is a child I'm meant to have, but considering my husband's reluctance, it may not come about.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision to return to the body?  Uncertain

      Describe:  I'm sure I didn't want to leave that place, but I accepted it.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  No

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  I had always been a little afraid of dying and felt that  the separation from my children would be unbearable. I know now that there is nothing to dread.

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  I am closer to my children. I never thought I could love them more than I already did. But I know that love has no bounds.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  I don't think the few I have told understood.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  great love, contentment, great curiosity

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  the best part was knowing, the worst part was not being taken seriously.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?  It was by far the most wondrous happening of my life. When I get discouraged, I remind myself of what I have to look forward to.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Uncertain

      Explain:  As well as it can be described in mere mortal words.