Tamara V's NDE-Like

Experience description: 

11 July 2002, we decided to make a tour on the motorbike.

When returning home I closed my eyes for a moment because of the brightness of the Sun,  we were driving about  50 kilometers per hour, suddenly my husband started cursing, the motorbike accelerated enormously and I did not have the time to open my eyes.  It had happened in a flash, a bang, a few somersaults and there we were lying.   I suddenly felt very peaceful and happy and felt I wanted to leave my body when suddenly someone or something told me “don’t go yet, it is not your time, your children still need you” I felt someone take my hand and saw or knew that it was a woman all dressed in white and she made me feel very calm. 

The I opened my eyes, I was lying in the grass and looked towards the Sun that  warmed my face, next to me there was a grasshopper that looked right at me, and I wanted to shout for joy, I felt one with everything, all is beauty, then I felt a needle in my hand and got very angry I had to stand up and take off my helmet, I had to go home to my kids then I was pressed on the ground and got a terrible pain in my leg and was totally conscious again.  

In the mean time police and ambulance had arrived and from their talk I understood that it was impossible we had survived this, also the policeman said: “Gee, those two were very lucky” at the same time of our accident someone died in a similar way also with a truck and a motorbike.  

I did not realize very well what had happened because I could not see my wounded leg, and thought I had just sprawled my ankle, when I heard the medics talk about Gent ( a mayor city in Belgium, translator note) and amputation.  

I first thought they were talking about my husband. Well, then we went into the ambulance, photos were taken, (a true nightmare) operation, intensive care, baxters, and blood.

When later I inquired with my doctor what all the numbers meant (I had remembered them)  he told me that I had lost half of my blood, and had to be glad that I was still alive.  How it is possible that I remained conscious apart from the BDE I do not know, even the doctors do not understand and I ask myself no questions about this any longer. 

When the other day I was allowed to move and saw my husband I got a laughing fit, but really a very strong one, I lasted for two hours, and the nurses only worsened it when they asked what was wrong, because I didn’t know , and still don’t know.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     Uncertain

took  seroxat 15 mg  1 daily

    inderal 40 mg  1 daily

    xanax   0.25 mg 2 daily

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes

I did not know what had happened to me, and thought they would declare me a lunatic.

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?

            I only know I heard my husband cursing then a bang, sommersaults, then black and the experience, then full consciousness and pain.  I didn’t take long, 5 minutes at the most.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   no

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

Felt myself slip away but did not leave my body.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No

Did you see a light?           No

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Uncertain

I  met a woman in white that  held my hand but I do not know whether it was real or part of the BDE but she gave me a very calm feeling, when I regained consciousness she was gone.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

Death is not the end.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes

My tolerance of pain has increased enormously

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Yes

Heightened  intuition.  Just knowing things , it is hard to explain.  Like,  “I already knew this” without ever having seen it.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes

Death holds no fear for me any longer. I put my earthly existence in the hands of the universe. Truth has been described in religion but religion is also the cause of many evils.  I try to see the good in every human being, I do not kill animals anymore, for instance a spider, I put it gently outside.

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I have become much quieter and more alert.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

 I started searching for the how and why of the experience and learned a lot.  My life is now more focused on the “helping of people” through lived experiences.   

I do not worry much longer about “earthly joys” but find my satisfaction in meditation, spirituality and the small things that can do much good, like a smile.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

Understanding and lack of understanding. In  the hospital they said it was due to blood loss, that I hallucinated 

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  Absolute bliss.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The words  "go back, it is not yet your time, your children still need you”.