EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:
I hope this makes sense. It was about eight or so. I
was going to take a shower and make some coffee. I decided to call my friend
Jessica because she was suppose to stop by, and I was going to make enough for
her too. I remember taking off my shirt, and dialing her name. I guess my
seizure started then in my hallway outside of my bathroom. I didn't have any
warning, no aura. (I always have an aura before a seizure). Jessica said I
didn't say anything on the phone so she got worried and came over. I was still
seizing when she got there. She said I was sweating profusely and it was very
violent. She called my fiancé Brandon, and my neighbor Dave to come help
because she wasn't sure what to do. I was going in and out of consciousness
having seizures minutes apart with post dictal activity. My seizures were
continuous so I was taken to the hospital to be treated. That is a combination
of what I was told and what I could piece together.
During that mess, I
remember looking up and seeing my fiancé staring at me holding my head. I
couldn't understand what he was saying, but he was crying. I could feel what he
was saying. I remember feeling what Jessica and Dave too. They weren't close
to me. Dave was repulsed. I remember him feeling weak (he denies this by the
way). Jessica was cold and scared maybe. She denies that too. The emotion was
so dark and so moving that it was kind of beautiful in its own still way. I was
feeling an enormous amount of pressure and sharp pain, and something happened
the stillness went away. I was hurting like I could feel what was going on. (I
never remember my seizures) So I let go, I just let go. The stillness came
back. I got up to comfort Brandon, my fiancé. I wanted to tell him that I was
fine. When I did, I saw myself choking. I wasn't choking myself like my
nightmares. I was just choking I couldn't breathe. I was on top of myself
watching myself and all these shapes were moving like people or animals around
me. I wanted to go back inside, because I was worried about Brandon. He was so
sad. I could feel his worry and sadness, but I couldn't feel my own. There was
this plasma thing between me and me. I guess I fell through it I don't know.
Then I went back to feeling everything in my body. All the pressure and tension
and pain. I guess I passed out again. I
The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital.
Was
the kind of experience difficult to express in words?
Yes I don't really know. It's almost like I don't have the words to describe
or anything to compare the sensation to. It also makes me uncomfortable, but
very peaceful at the same time.
At
the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?
Yes I guess so. If my seizures don't stop I can enter status epileptics
which is the constant state of a seizure or a seizure induced coma. I know
people die from the damage of seizures, but since medicated I haven't had one
as bad as the one I had on Monday. In addition, even when I had them years ago
before my diagnosis I never experienced the after life thing.
At
what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness
and alertness?
When I was staring at myself on top of myself, but able to feel Brandon too.
How
did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience
compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal
If
your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was
different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please
explain:
When I was staring at myself on top of myself, but able to feel Brandon too.
Did
your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect,
such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of
solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?
Uncertain I guess so. The way I remember things in proportion is
impossible for it to have actually happened. Colors were brighter. The lines
fuzzy...The feeling was so overwhelming, I could've had my eyes shut and see the
same things.
Did
your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any
aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness,
etc.)?
Yes I don't remember hearing anything. II could just feel it.
Did
you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?
Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
I felt everything from other people, but I felt overwhelmingly
balanced I guess. I felt good and bad. I felt like I was a part of everything.
That's dumb I know. I just can't describe it any other way.
Did
you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No
Did
you see a light?
No
Did
you meet or see any other beings?
Yes Well these shapes were running all over the plane. They were light and
dark, I guess. I wasn't afraid of them. It was like leaves in a windstorm, but
bigger, and shaped like people/animals.
Did
you experience a review of past events in your life?
Yes Kind of. I guess. When I was watching Brandon cry I saw my parents
cry, my dad especially. I saw a lot of sadness and joy, but not mine. Theirs.
Did
you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience
that could be verified later?
Yes Yes..But they deny it.
Did
you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or
dimensions?
No
Did
you have any sense of altered space or time?
Yes That might be the nature of the seizures though.
Did
you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?
Yes I guess I felt a part of everything.
Did
you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Yes Plasma stuff.
Did
you become aware of future events?
No
Did
you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience
you did not have prior to the experience?
Uncertain I don't know. I might be losing my mind.
Have you shared this experience with others?
No
Did
you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
Uncertain I guess so. I mean on movies I guess, but I thought it was
bullshit.
How
did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it
happened:
Experience was definitely real It has been a couple of days I'm confused.
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or
significant to you?
All
of them
How
do you currently view the reality of your experience:
Experience was definitely real
Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
Yes
I
stopped talking to a lot of people close to me.
Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your
experience?
No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
No I take topamax for my epilepsy
Did
the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and
comprehensively describe your experience?
Yes
