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Sylvain C's NDE
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Sylvain C's NDE |
Experience description:
I probably fainted because when I opened the eyes again, I was on a stretcher, with doctors from the ambulance service around me. They were asking me to count theirs fingers to avoid fainting again …….. without any result. I fell in a light coma. I will go out of it 5 days later.
Meanwhile I have been operated for the many fractures and the beginning of bleeding due to the cranial and facial trauma.
It is at that time that I has this experiment, which I remember every detail since 15 years and which I’ll probably remember until my end of life.
I remember me floating (the word is not very suitable, it was like being only a pair of eyes... no more bodily sensations, of no sort).
The surroundings were black, no tunnel, no light, no "ghost", nothing else than the consciousness which got rid of its superfluous thoughts. And in the middle, the operating table and the surgeons and the nurses, very busy.
On waking, some few days later, I answered the policemen questions (always with full of tact... irony) and also to the doctors’ questions. I told about what I saw, describing, to the surgeon, the place where the operation took place, the number of people who were present during the operation, men and women, their own place and some another few details. He seemed to be astonished and told to me "if the accident didn’t occurred just in front of the hospital, probably, you would not be anymore with us", then he went out of the room. It is at that time that the nurse told to me that I had a NDE. It is much later than I learned what it meant.
Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? Uncertain
I was drunk at the time of the accident, but I really don’t think that this can explain that I was floating, serene, while looking at the surgeons operating me during the time I was coma. I don’t know if we can say there is a link between both.
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain
When we talk about a travel by plane or by train to somebody, he can understand and share what is said. In the case of a NDE, how to be sure that the person you are speaking to really understands you ? That’s why I prefer to not go into details.… well.
At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event? No
What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?
I felt serene. Perfectly well but not lucid, there I mean that I didn’t think neither of what happened to me, nor of what was happening at this moment. Besides, I did not think at all… I had rather the feeling to be free. I miss this state and I tried to recover it during a long time, in vain……
Was the experience dream like in any way? In a manner of speaking, yes, but what is the dream? And how to explain the projection ? In most of the dreams you are personally
involved, but in this case I didn’t feel concerned.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Uncertain
I suppose that a separation occured, but without any figure. Just the vision and the feeling to be disembodied (no sound, no pain)
Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? no sound
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?
No
Did you see a light? No
Did you meet or see any other beings? No
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Yes, All my operation and later on, all has been confirmed by the description of the scene made by a nurse present in the operating room.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes
Stopping of the time during the experiment or at least, no idea of the time passing. It’s only when I
was out of the hospital (3 months later) that I realized that I totally lost track of time. Since that time, I mainly live during the night.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
I "saw" through people. There, I mean that I perceived their intentions, their emotions and their feelings as someone hearing music in the headphones of a walkman. It was so perturbing that I refused to have any visit. Alas, this continued. Gradually I got some capacities for a form of perspicacity. I don’t really like this word but anyway it’s a little bit that. Let’s say, since this time, I have an intuition and a
capacity for anticipating which have increased.
To be clear, I perceived everything as if naked and I don’t understand why nobody else can “see”. Since this time, I shut myself away, I am afraid of people and of their irresponsability. I have also the personal feeling that I “came back” for a good reason.
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you become aware of future events?
No
Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body? No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Yes, see question 16
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes
Nothing any more was familiar to
me. I often say that I am born at 18 years. Somehow, I have to rebuild my personality. I started to fear everything and everyone because I had the feeling to be the only one being “waked up" in the middle of all the "sleepers".
Concerning my personal beliefs, I changed from "god exists or not" to "if god exists, what is the reason for all that".
How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices? I feel disconnected from the human venture. What I mean there is that I feel concerned neither by the ambition, neither by money, neither by power, neither by work, nor by politics and even less by the laws. However, I am unable to make physical harm to someone, nor
to lie because of the risk of getting remorses about it, and the word is weak. The remorses haunted me up to the point that they make me unable to sleep.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes
I became an extraterrestrial (a little humour won’t do do any harm).
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes
With my mother. I also lost the memory of my teenage years (approximately the few years before the accident). She listened to me without really understanding nor knowing what to answer to me.
With some friends, too much inclined to tell about similar stories they heard about (of no help at all, in fact).
With a psychiatrist, during 9 months. There, it’s a little bit funny. Using my capacities of perception, I reversed his own method towards him and forced him to speak about his own problems (it is a long story without so much interest but this disturbed him enough to push him to decide to stop the sessions).
What emotions did you experience following your experience? Loss of physical and psychological landmarks. Problems to get concentrated, hyper emotionalism. A lot of anger and hatred, but mainly against me.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best, the feeling of beatitude at the time of the NDE. The worst, the 15 following years.
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
I am not any more on the same wavelength with the world. Every day, I think at least once about suicide even if I am not suicidal, I never attempted suicide and I won’t do it …. but I think about it … every day.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? Yes
Since this time, I’m musician by profession (not for money or glory but with the hope that this could be a kind of outlet, a safety valve for me). In such conditions, I have been exposed to all the most known drugs. I tested all of them. Not to challenge any authority or to make people like me, not "to do like Mr What-his-name" but just because dying does not frighten me any more.
Hachich, ganja, heroin, cocaine, ecstasy, opium, hallucinogen mushrooms. Heroin was the one which gave me the closest feelings to the experiment (normal, because it’s the one which gives the most bodily feelings).
I could stop taking all those substances without any difficulty because the only thing I wanted was to commune again with this state of light.
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
However, it’s difficult to describe all that happened since this time, nor what we feel, even if we have still precise memories. For sure I forget things.
In any case, it is good to tell about it to people able to understand and why not able to give some answers.
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.
The questionnaire is good but the background of the home page disturbs me;) With its look of sky and clouds, I had the feeling to fill in a formular to enter the paradise. That’s it, do not hesitate to contact me, I want to understand!!