Rick R's Possible NDE

EXPERIENCE DESCRIPTION:

I don't know how I got there but I stood in a huge hall.  I could see the forms of people standing around me.  I could not see their faces but it seemed like I knew them.  I sensed this.  The people around me were more like shadow people.  I could see their silhouettes.  It seemed like I was not “allowed” to see them, directly.  The most usual thing about where I was, is that the ceiling was THE NIGHT SKY, with brilliant stars.  The floor was like polished marble.  Then he comes into the hall and walks straight up to me.  I hear him say, "hello, I am the Son of God."  From here on out I cannot remember anything else.  It is like every thing just cuts off right there. 

He was about 5-10 to 6-0 tall, he had shoulder length brown hair and had a dark complexion.  He has blue eyes, and a short beard.  His skin is dark in complexion, with a kind of olive color to it.  He was wearing a white robe with some kind of a belt or sash around his waist.  I could not see his feet.  He was smiling at me when he walked up to me.   I can’t remember seeing his lips move, but I heard the words.

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No       The only problem I have had is trying to determine if this was some kind of a dream or not.  It was so vivid and undream-like, plus the fact that I nearly always forget dreams and this one stuck just like I really was there.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No       I was having my torn ACL repaired.  I woke up and went home.  No problems.  But in the months afterward I began to have flash backs of me being there.  I have often thought I am going crazy.  I am embarrassed to discuss it even with my wife.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    What little time there is I was wide awake and very alert.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    Normal consciousness and alertness

            What little time there is I was wide awake and very alert.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     I could see people standing around me but I couldn't see their faces.  I could clearly see the room, and him.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            No       The only thing I could heard was his voice.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Wonder

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Uncertain      I don't know how I got there

Did you see a light?           No       the light in the room came from the stars in ceiling.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     The Son of God

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No      

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?            Yes     The hall I was in was pretty darn unusual.  When I describe the “hall” having a ceiling, it was really not a ceiling like we have here.  It was “the night sky” and not like what you see now looking up at night.  The stars were brilliant, bright enough to clearly see everything (except the people.)  The closest thing I can think of to describe it would be like if you were on the international space-station with a glass dome over your head looking out at the stars.  Now get rid of the glass and leave space and the stars.  That’s it.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Uncertain     

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     No      

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No       I was just there in the room.  I can't explain how I got there or how I got back.

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Uncertain      The only thing I have noticed is that I can tell when someone is lying to me.  It is like a lie alarm goes off in my head.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     The only one I have felt comfortable enough to tell is my brother.  I haven't even been able to bring myself to tell my wife.  I thought I was going nuts for a while.  He kids me about it and I halfway wished I kept my mouth shut,  but all in all I can now talk to someone about it.  He hasn't been influenced by it one way or another.  He thinks something happened to me but he still kids me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     I have heard of it before but until this happened I have never given it much thought.  I have been reading everything I can get my hands on since then.  Read Moody's book and several others.  I have run across only one other NDE that kind of resembled mine.  Some of the ones I have read I find rather hard to swallow, but I am trying not to judge someone trying to describe the indescribable.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was probably real    At first I thought it was a dream.  Then the picture of it in my mind, the vividness of it, the clarity of it, just will not let be believe it was a dream.  I have had flash backs of it.  These began several months after the operation.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?    I wish I could remember more.  I would really like to know why I was there.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was probably real            The room and He were crystal clear real.  The only thing that did not seem real were the people around me and not being able to see their faces.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     The only thing I have noticed is that I now have this desire to teach.  I take young adults under my wing and help them every way I can.  I have found jobs for them.  Council them.  Show them what I know.  Even my hardheaded son has started listening to me, especially when I told him the secret to being happy in this world.  The secret to finding happiness to in helping others.  There is an endless supply out there.  The look on his face was priceless.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?            No            Nope, I didn't need to see him to know he was there.  I have always believed in him.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No       I have never tried any drugs.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        I must be nuts doing this form.  But here it is anyway.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         No      


Addendum:

I never gave much thought to NDEs and being somewhat of a cynic, thought they were just stories made up by people who were having hallucinations.  That was until I had an experience myself (I have already filled out your form.)  Since then I have been doing extensive reading on the subject and find your site very helpful in trying to deal with mine.  If I am some kind of a nut, then I have a lot of company.  I have been doing a lot of reflecting on my life, trying to remember what has happened to me during my 55 years here. 

What I am writing you about is the two times in my life when I was directly contacted by my guardian angel.  I have never thought much about it until now.  And as I have reflected, I have thanked him continually for saving my life, twice.  The first time was when I was a stupid, foolish teenager.  I had just dropped off a friend at his house and it was very late, about 1 am.  I was speeding down a residential street, doing about 60 in a 30 mph zone.  There was an intersection on this street that did not have stop signs for either direction.  I foolishly decided to cross that intersection at full speed.  I was almost into the intersection when there was a male voice, screaming in my head, “STOP!!”  I immediately slammed on the brakes and locked up the wheels.  Just then, another car streaked across in front of me.  I wound up sideways in the street, almost in someone’s front lawn.  I sat there a minute composing myself, shaking and trying to wipe up the urine from my jeans.  I very carefully engaged the clutch and drove home the rest of the away like a model citizen.  Without his intervention, I would have been “T-Boned” and dead as a door nail. 

The second time came when I was 40 years old.  My wife had left me.  I was in a deep dark malaise, contemplating suicide, taking anti-depressants, and just off the most horrible phone call fight with her in my life.  As I hung up the phone, I totally lost it, balling my eyes out and praying to God that I might have my life back.  I can never, ever remember a prayer to him with more earnest fervor.  After about thirty minutes of prayer I said my, “amen.”  Then once again, the male voice came into my head.  He said these words.  “Okay, now get a hold of yourself and straighten up.  Things will get better.”  To make a very long drawn out story short, my wife and I just had our 33^rd anniversary.  This time was not so deadly of circumstances, but ever so important for me this time of my life. 

Neither time did I even wonder whose voice that it was in my head.  I just accepted it and went on like this is completely normal.   And, just now while reading some of the accounts of NDEs where people have interacted with their guardians, that I remembered what has happened to me.  I have never told anyone about this for fear of being locked up for hearing “voices.”  Woooo!!  But now, after my encounter with the man himself, this made perfect sense.  So, if they want to lock me up then so be it.

Why I do not fear death

By: Rick R 

This essay is an explanation of certain events in my life that have caused me not to worry, fret, have anxiety, or fear death in any way.  During my younger days, this was not the case—I was vey fearful.  I do not expect anyone to believe me just because I have written this.  You might think I’m as nutty as a fruitcake, I’ve thought the same thing at times.  Only just know that I am not making this up and I believe what I am saying.  If this was a courtroom, just bring me the Bible, I’m ready to say, “I do.” 

It began when I was a child, my mother used to tell me that I had an imaginary friend.  She said I described him as a tall man with a top hat.  As I think back and ponder, could this have been my guardian angel?  Who knows, but over time this was lost to my memory and I never gave it a second thought, until now. 

I am totally convinced that there has been two times in my life when I was directly contacted by my guardian angel.  I have never thought much about it until now.  And as I have reflected, I have thanked him many times for saving my life—twice.   The first time was when I was a stupid, foolish teenager.  I had just dropped off a friend at his house and it was very late, about 1 am.  I was speeding down a residential street, doing about 60 in a 30 mph zone.  There was an intersection on this street that did not have stop signs for either direction.  I foolishly decided to cross that intersection at full speed.  I was almost into the intersection when there was a male voice, screaming inside my head, “STOP!!”  I immediately slammed on the brakes and locked up the wheels.  Just then, another car streaked across in front of me.  I wound up with my car sideways in the street, almost in someone’s front lawn.  I sat there a minute composing myself, shaking and trying to wipe up the disgusting yellow liquid from my jeans.  I very carefully engaged the clutch and drove home the rest of the way like any model citizen.  Without his intervention, I would have been “T-Boned” and dead as a door nail. 

The second time came when I was 40 years old.  My wife had left me.  I was in a deep dark malaise, contemplating suicide, taking anti-depressants, and just off the most horrible phone call fight with her of my life.  As I hung up the phone, I totally lost it, balling my eyes out and praying to God that I might have my life back.  I can never, ever remember a prayer to him with more earnest fervor.  After about thirty minutes of prayer I said my, “amen.”  Then once again, the male voice came inside my head.  He said these words.  “Okay, now get a hold of yourself and straighten up.  Things will get better.”  To make a very long drawn out story short, my wife and I have now had our 35^th wedding anniversary.  This time was not so deadly of a circumstance, but it was ever so important for me in this time of my life. 

Neither time did it even occur to me to question whose voice that it was in my head.  I just accepted it and went on like this was completely normal.  I didn’t hear these words with my ears; it was in my mind somehow.  

In September of 1975, my dad was diagnosed with a cancer called oak-cell carcinoma in his lung and limp nods.  He had smoked since a teenager and was a 3 packs a day smoker.   My wife, myself and my brother drove up to Dallas from College Station (Texas A & M) when we received a phone call from my mom that the time of his death was very near.  We made it there in plenty of time.  It was like he was waiting on us to get there so he could finally let go.  He actually spoke to us and asked how our drive was coming home, while drifting in and out of consciousness.   He passed within an hour of our arrival.   

That night, our relatives started arriving and we had people laying everywhere through out the house.  My wife and I were in the study, sleeping on a futon.  I was laying in the dark trying to fall asleep when I heard someone walking in the kitchen.  I sat up to look and see who it was.  There in the doorway was the dark silhouette of my father standing facing us.  I rubbed my eyes trying to see more clearly.  When I opened them again a second later he was gone.  I laid back down trying to decide if I was now nuts.  I fell asleep and did not tell anyone about this until recently. 

For years I thought I was dreaming or just plain crazy.  After reading a study about “After Death Communication,” I started talking about this with my brother and discovered that this very odd occurrence had happened to both of us the night our father died. 

When I told my brother my story he said that he saw dad that night too.  He heard steps coming down the hall and saw his silhouette in his bedroom doorway.   

During my lifetime I have undergone numerous medical procedures and operations.  They include removal of my wisdom teeth under a general anesthetic, repair of the torn ACL of my left knee, appendicitis, removal of my gall bladder, and removal of fifteen inches of my colon due to diverticulitis.  

Sometime after my knee operation, I have began having flash backs of what I would describe as a Near Death Experience.  At first, I thought it was just some normal dream and I blew it off as such.  But recently the thought occurred to me that this was something other than a dream.  I usually forget dreams.  This one I can see vividly, just as if it actually happened.  I would describe it like being on a vacation and thinking back what it was like standing on a beach somewhere.  You can remember each detail of the place you were at, which is very un-dream-like.  I can remember standing in a great hall.  There were other people standing in a group to my side.  I could not see there faces but they were there with me and for me.  They looked like shadow people or silhouettes to my eyes.  I saw their shapes and felt like I knew them but I cannot tell you who they were.  We were all waiting for someone.  Then he came in.  He walked up to me and introduced himself, “Hello, I’m the Son of God.”  I heard the words in my head.  From that point on I can’t remember anything that was said. 

He looked to be about 5-10 to 6-0 tall.  He had brown shoulder length hair and a close trimmed beard.  He had a dark (olive) completion. His eyes were blue and his nose was what I would describe as somewhat of a “Roman-Nose,” in other words, large and kind of bent just a little bit under the bridge.  All in all, his face looked rather normal, and not what I would have thought it might have been had I been artist drawing his face. He wore a white robe with a gold sash around his waist. I remember that the ceiling of the room was like looking at the sky at night with very bright stars.  The floor was a highly polished white marble with grey to black veins of minerals streaming through the stone and there were some marble steps off to one side.  The architecture would best be described as Greek, but in perfect condition, brand new and well tended.  

I don’t know why or how I got there.  I don’t know how I got back.  Can’t remember anything else than what I describe here. This happened several years after my father’s death.  I can’t place the exact date, but the flash backs started after the knee operation. 

I have tried discussing this with my wife.  She says that it was a dream and I am describing some “Jesus” picture I have seen somewhere.  In other words, she’s not buying it and doesn’t want to talk anymore about it. 

I also tried to discuss this with one of the elders of my church.  This was immediately after a Bible class where is subject of life after death was discussed at length.  I was told that I sounded like some kind of nut.  Interesting, was what I thought at the time.  Here we have a person who professes to believe in a living God and in his son, but will not even listen to something that “might” support what he believes in.  My response to him was, “If you do not believe in life after death, then why you are here?”  That ended my attempts to share my experiences with the members of my church—I don’t want to be the nut who saw Jesus. 

Here are some other things I have noticed about my behavior after my “NDE.”  I am now a vegetarian, I have stopped hunting and killing things I will not eat, I have become hyper-intuitive around people who try to lie to me and I just know that they are lying.  I try to help people every chance I have and I feel terrible when I miss an opportunity because I was not thinking or just zoning out.  I no longer judge people for the mistakes they make; they are just learning how to love others and haven’t gotten there yet.  I could care less about the material things of this life.  I could be completely happy without all this “stuff.”    I love living every day like it’s my last.  It used to bother me when people die, but not now.  What does bother me is when someone takes another’s life or does evil to someone else.  They have no right to take away what God has given. 

Jesus is alive and active today, even if you don’t believe in him.  I saw a movie one time that had a really great line in it to describe what I see happening, “Some things are true whether you believe them or not.”   

We have unseen help out there somewhere that watches over us and keeps us throughout our lives.  There is life after death.   I do not fear death in the least.  Death is merely the birth into something else.  If you believe that there is nothing after this life, you are in for a big surprise.