Richard L's NDE

Experience description: 

I was eight years old and growing up in the suburbs of Los Angeles, in the San Gabriel Valley in a town called El Monte.

I was riding my bike one day with my best friend, Felix, along a busy street. I was on the right side of the road, going with the flow of traffic. My friend was on the opposite side, riding in the same direction. I needed to cross the street to join him, so I looked over my shoulder to watch for oncoming cars. Because of the curve in the road, I couldn't see much more than 100 feet. The speed limit on this road was 40mph, but people often drove much faster than that, so I knew that I didn't have enough sight distance to safely cross.

I realized that Felix would be able to see further than I could, so I called out to him, "Hey! See any cars coming?" He looked back, shook his head and said, "All clear!". I veered sharply to the left to cross.The last thing I remember was the sound of screeching tires, looking over my shoulder and seeing the front end of a 1962 Chevy Impala not more than ten feet away. Blue-grey smoke was coming up from the sides as the brakes locked up the tires.

The next thing I remember was the sensation of floating about 20 feet up in the air. I looked down and saw some kid laying in the middle of the road. He looked familiar. He was laying there spread-eagled, left leg was at a funny angle, his clothes were ripped and bloody, he wasn't breathing. I felt a strange sense of calm and detachment, as if the horrible scene below me really wasn't important. I watched as several people ran up to the boy. One of them started breathing into his mouth. I could hear him speaking with two voices.

"That's odd", I thought to myself.

I heard him say, "call an ambulance, he's not breathing!". I could also hear him say, "Oh my god, oh my god, don't die on me!" at the same time. I realized that he was thinking this, not saying it. I could hear others thinking as well, yet I could make out everything they all were saying/thinking at the same time and still being able to understand all of it.

I watched this scene for what seemed like about a minute, than I noticed a bright light shining above me. I looked up and saw light streaming out of what looked like a pinhole in the sky. The hole was slowly getting bigger. I could see that it kind of distorted things around it, like a lens bending light. The light was like Mother-Of-Pearl in color, with streaks of blue, pink, green, and yellow/gold. It was very beautiful and very bright, yet I could see it clearly. Not like looking at the light from the sun, which can be uncomfortable.

I started to hear a buzzing sound that quickly became very loud. As the sound increased, the hole above me got bigger, the light got brighter, and I felt myself being pulled up towards it. I felt as if I was being squeezed through an opening that was too small for me. The buzzing sound became a whooshing roar as I entered the hole, with a doppler-like effect as I passed through it. The sensation was like speeding down a tunnel at light speed, not unlike the "warp" effect you see in movies. I wasn't alone in there, either. I felt the presence of others, but I couldn't see them.

I passed through some kind of dividing line, a barrier of sorts, hard to describe.

I was surrounded by light. Misty shapes began to form as looked around. At first they were just moving swirls of light, but they soon took the shape of human forms. There were a lot of them around me. I heard soft whispering coming from them, like a crowd murmuring and talking among themselves. From this crowd, three shapes came forward and approached me. As they drew near, I could make out them out better, like they were slightly out of focus and my eyes were adjusting. They were tall and slender, wearing what looked like flowing robes. One of them was wearing a beard. They all had long, shoulder-length hair. One of them spoke to me.

"You're not supposed to be here, yet. You have to go back. You know what you agreed to.", he said.

I told him that I didn't want to go back. I liked it here, it felt like home. I felt like they were amused by my response.

"You must go back, you have work to do. We'll send you back, soon."

I looked around me at the crowd. I saw familiar faces. These were friends, family, enemies, people I had known before, but I couldn't remember from where or when. Some of them I knew I had known for a very long time. Many lives, many places, many times. I flashed on visions from those lives and events. There was a kind of continuity and connectiveness about all of it, a sense of purpose and order that spanned the centuries.

I looked back at the three people in front of me. These people were ancient. I don't know how I knew that, but I knew that they were "old souls" who watched over my group. We all had "sprung" from them, like children, each going their way yet connected to the source. I felt nothing like judgment of our actions from them. If anything, I felt a kind of amused benevolence from them, like parents watching their children playing. Even at the really bad things we did in our lives, there was no judgment.

The one with the beard spoke to me. "You can ask questions. We will answer them and you will remember. It is important that you do this."

My first question was "Is this heaven?".

"It can be, if that's what you want. It can be Hell, as well, if that's what you believe. This reality is an extension of you, instantly realized and formed. You always create your own reality, no matter where you find yourself, for we are all co-creators."

"Where is God? I don't see him." I asked. They became visibly amused, like they were snickering at my question under their breath.

"How can you see that which you are yourself a part of? We are all expressions of God. When you see with your eyes, you see through the eyes of God and he experiences reality through yours. When you speak to God, you speak to yourself. We are one and the same, there is no division or separation. You can no more 'see' God than your hand can see you, for it is a part of you and functions because of you and for your purposes, as well as it's own. There is no separation. Any that seems to exist is an illusion. The light that surrounds us here is God. It is our source of being and is given freely to all."

Next question. "Why do I feel like this is home?".

"Because it is home. All begin here and return here. It is the starting point for all journeys and lessons."

A strange question. I still don't know why I asked it, but at the time it seemed relevent. "When I come back again, can I stay?". I got an even stranger answer.

"We don't think you'll want to stay long, you never do. You love your lessons, especially the hard ones. You can do as you please, it's your choice."

This went on for what seemed like an hour. I asked a total of 15 questions that covered a wide variety of topics and ideas. I'll discuss some of these ideas upon request. Some of them I would rather not discuss. They're either of a very personal nature, things most of us aren't ready to hear, or things I'm not supposed to talk about yet.

One day, I'll maybe write a book about it.

After the last question, I was told it was time to go back. I still didn't want to go back, but because of what I knew, I didn't argue the point.

I don't remember any kind of specific event that got me there, but I suddenly found myself in an ambulance. I felt a terrible rush of pain throughout my whole body. I felt like I was choking. There was a tube in my throat. I smelled and tasted blood. I looked over at the attendant sitting next to me and I got hit with a very strong sense of deja vu. It was a memory of a dream I had a couple of days before. This very scene was in it. I remember one thing that really stood out. Two words...

"I remember"            

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes     Some elements of the experience are difficult to translate adequately into words. The feeling of experiencing multiple points of view and events simultaneously, is one example.

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          Yes     Stopped breathing, but I'm not sure if my heart stopped also.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    Right after going through the tunnel. My feelings during that time can only be described as "supernatural", but very real (and "natural") at the time. Even to this day, the feeling exists like a "real" event and not a dream.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            I was able to be in multiple places at the same time and experience events and conversations on many levels at once. I had no problem with keeping track of these multiple experiences. The sense of time seemed to be much more "expansive". Kinda like a moment point that is stretched out both into the future and the past at the same time.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  Yes     When I was floating above my body, I could see 360 degrees around me at the same time. But I only seemed to focus on a smaller visible area similar to my normal physical vision. People I saw below me appeared to have a kind of "streakiness" about them. Kinda like being smeared when they moved. Colors seemed normal. No transparency noted.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?
            Uncertain      During the OBE, none noted. During the events immediately afterward, when I was on the other side, I heard sounds inside my head, as opposed to coming from outside like normal hearing.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Mostly calmness.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          Yes     Described in narrative above.

Did you see a light?           Yes     Described in narrative above.

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     Described in narrative above.

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    Uncertain      I experienced life events from the "past", but they didn't relate to my present life. I also experienced events from the "future", as well, both in this life and "future" lives.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     My friend, who witnessed the accident, described how I was laying on the street. His description matched my OBE memories.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           Yes            Many places, in many ways. At times, it felt as if I was actually standing on a dirt path, for example, seeing a home I used to live in a short distance away. At other times, I seemed to be watching things from the "outside", like I was peering into another reality. Hard to describe.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes     As described in my narrative above, time seemed to be stretched out. I like to use the term "expansive" because it seems better suited to the experience.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Yes            Everything is connected. There is no separation between us and what we describe as God. The rest of what I know, I'd rather not say right now. Some of it is very disturbing.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes     As described in narrative above, a boundary existed in the form of a "hole" of some kind that I "squeezed" through at the end of the tunnel.

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes
            Of the events in my life that a saw, they have all come true. The visions consisted of major events and "crossroads" in my life. The details were not filled in, as if they didn't exist yet.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes     Very empathic. I can easily sense feelings and emotions in other people, even total strangers, when they are physically close to me. Those that I have a close emotional bond with, I can sense at very far distances.