Randall M's NDE

Experience description: 

There is a blank spot, after I hit my chin on the marble counter. Everything was black, but I could hear every word of the 3-5 people in the area. I wondered why I couldn't see, then realized my eyes were shut. I opened my eyes and looked down from the ceiling at a scene of mayhem. Someone was lying on the floor-I couldn't see whom-and 3 people, 2 females, 1 male, were on their knees around the person. A nurse ran up with a push cart. Some one was calling out blood pressure numbers; the last set I heard was "35 over 15". I got bored; it looked like a TV show. I turned around (on a horizontal axis, and that was when I realized I was "floating", because I wanted to go forward and turn left down a hallway, where they had told me my room was. I tried "swimming". That didn't work, but just thinking I wanted be someplace got me there. Not instantaneously. I just moved through the air without effort. The hallway was short. There were only 3 doorways; 2 on the right side, 1 on the left.

Straight ahead was lead paned, partial stain glass window that looked down on a courtyard with a fountain and pond. After looking in my room, I looked out the window on the fountain and pond in the bright sun light, thinking my daughter would like to sit by it with me and talk; I didn't have a daughter at that time. I had no children. I also though it should be better taken care of and cleaned up, and that I would donate some money to do that. That was when it went black again, and I felt like someone jerking me backward. I got angry. I was very angry when I opened my eyes and discovered I was on the floor. It felt very cold and hard. The attendant who took me to my room, asked me where I went. This was out of the blue, because I hadn't said anything. I was too angry. I told him, and told him about the window and courtyard. He said, "So, you've been in this hospital before." I said "No. I haven't been in a hospital since I was born." He said, "They bricked over that window in the 40's, during the war; it let too much light out at night."

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?
            Just about all of it.

Was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience different from normal every day consciousness and alertness?     Very much like my best days. Totally alert, awake, but relaxed.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?            Yes,             The sun was very much brighter. I kept expecting it to be glaring and hurtful, but it wasn't. I heard and saw everything around me, but filter and center my attention better.

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            No
           
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?            Yes

What emotions did you feel during the experience?        Peace (I know its not an emotion), joy, anticipation (not an emotion), a sense of power, control (not an emotion), uncertainty (not an...), anger.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?            Uncertain
            Uncertain; don't know. I wanted to go out the window to the courtyard. Even though we were on the fourth floor, I felt totally safe to do it.

Did you see a light?            Uncertain
            THE LIGHT???? I don't know. Light, yes. Everything was very normal, but there was sense of rightness about everything. Everything was as it should be.

Did you meet or see any other beings?            Yes
            They were unclear, and I was self absorbed and uninterested. They were at a distance, even though they were only 4-5 feet away; they were unclear.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?            Yes,             The hallway, number of doorways, window, courtyard.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?      Yes, It was different-that's all I can say, different.

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?            Yes
            But I lost it when I came to.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?            Yes
            The wall and window. I didn't. Nothing would happen, except I could sit by the pond and maybe clean it up a little.

Did you become aware of future events?            Yes
            I just know certain "little" things about my life, others lives. There is a deeper awareness of others emotions even when they are covering them, and better reading of non-verbal communication.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?            Uncertain
            I don't know if my sense of future (as simple as "Don't turn down this street, take the next one. And there's a traffic tie up.) is psychic or good intuition.

Have you shared this experience with others?            Yes
            Only 4 people. It was easily 20 years before I spoke of it One person was actually a discussion group of 5, but I was speaking to only one. The 3 individuals are my wife, and 2 of my children. It just never seemed to something appropriate to talk about. Reactions were mostly disbelief, I thought; or shock.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?            No
           
Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?
            Not really. It was the sense of peace, and togetherness that was important.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:
            Experience was definitely real
            It was real. I didn't know what had happened. I did not accept my dying. I thought I maybe had got delirious and gotten off the gurney and was walking around and they had to bring me back, and they said I was "gone" to be polite.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:
            Experience was definitely real
            It has never faded or altered in my remembrance. It is very real, and I feel that where I was was is very close, but I can't reach it.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?            Yes
            Afterward, yes. I became more accepting to others feelings, and more open to them.

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?
Uncertain, I don't think its so much because of this. I  probably was headed down this path anyway.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?            No
           
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?
            It is real. Some things changed. My handwriting totally changed for about a year. I became quieter, and more detail oriented, and analytical.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?            Uncertain
            Its not totally complete, like I just remembered the handwriting. People reacted to me differently too. More serious, more respectful.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire:
            Writing in 2 dimensions cannot adequately describe the experience.